Pseudo pizza anyone?

I’m beginning to think a lot of people don’t know how to make a decent fake pizza bread at home, seeing stuff like ketchup and Velveeta:eek:?!

Anyway what I do when I get the pizza jones at 2am is I take:

Any bread, decent actual bread is better but wonder bread will suffice

Slices of mozzarella off a block

Actual tomato sauce, from a can or a jar, or even real pizza sauce but NOT ketchup

Any topping you like olives, mushrooms, green pepper, pepperoni, basil, whatever!

Put the bread in the oven on low heat until it is nice and toasted and crispy, now take it out and liberally coat in the tomato/pizza sauce and add the toppings of your choice and then lay the slices of mozzarella on top. Put back in oven until cheese is nice and bubbly.

I swear sometimes this tastes better than delivered pizza! Ok so I was sick of seeing at home pizza bread get bad mouthed as crap, any tips to add?

If I’m going super lazy, and want low cal, I build a pizza on a tortilla.

Agreed that you have to use proper tomato sauce. I normally make up a big batch with chopped onions and garlic and just keep it in the fridge to dip into.

I do pseudo pizzas all the time on tortillas, pita, naan, French or Italian bread loaves sliced lengthwise, any crusty breads on the “day old” bakery racks. A good sauce (even pesto, bruschetta topping or tapenade) or sliced fresh tomatoes, shredded mozzarella (and maybe some feta, ricotta, etc.), sliced olives and baby spinach, garlic. Good stuff, cooks up quickly, cheaper than using pre-cooked pizza crust like Boboli, and you can control portion sizes more easily.

As a a teenager, I even did crap like layering a plate with saltines, pouring sauce on, adding cheese, and nuking. About on a par with Chef Boyardee pizza kits… thankfully, I liked Chef Boyardee pizza.

I use tomato paste for the sauce, just spread it on with a rubber spatula and add some minced garlc mixed in.

Same here. That or lavash or a similar large, fairly thin flatbread. Works really well. Or you can fold it over and do a calzone-type thing if you prefer. Or stack a second tortilla on top and have a sort of pizza sincronizada/quesadilla.

For sauce, I’ve always liked my pizza sauces simple. I just use 5-in-1 brand ground tomatoes (or any good tomato puree) and a little sprinkle of salt. I might put a little garlic or a shake of oregano, if I’m in the mood, but it doesn’t need anything more than that.

Try it with English muffins, you won’t be disappointed, it works a charm and toasts up nice (no need to pretoast!)

But always pizza sauce, always. Nothing else will do, I’m afraid.

I used to take a slice of white bread and top it with a slice of American processed cheese food substance. For sauce, I’d spread a couple of spoonfuls of tomato juice on the cheese, and pizzafy it with oregano and garlic salt. Bake at 300 F 'til nicely crispy.

yum

That was one of my afterschool snacks when I was a kid.

One method is to use a sandwich maker. You can load it up and it seals it in.

When I was hosteling in England many, many years ago, I would butter two slices of bread, spread ketchup on them, add some anchovy paste from a tube, sprinkle them with oregano, put on some slices of cheese, and stick under the broiler in a toaster oven. Instant pizza!

On alternate nights, I would have toasted cheese and Marmite. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm! :o

I make pizzas on low-carb tortillas at least twice a week, but I usually just use chili oil and skip the tomato sauce. I used to use regular flour tortillas, until I discovered they have about the same nutritional value as a piece of bread, sometimes more.

I agree; English muffins make great pizza bases. Although in a pinch, I’ve used Eggos as well!

Take a flour tortilla, add pizza sauce and cheese.

Place on frying pan, surround tortilla with pepperoni slices.

When cheese has melted, top with fried pepperoni .

Eat.

This is how I make “pizza” for my 4-year-old on a weeknight.

Otherwise, using Trader Joe’s Garlic Naan and baking is a great alternative. We use that for when everyone gets to make their own pizza.

1 more vote for English muffin pizzas.

Pizza bagels are good too, but they’re more bagel-y than pizza-y.

+1 on the English muffins. Top with pizza sauce, add a few pepperoni slices and shredded mozzarella and put in the microwave for about 30 seconds. Better than any supermarket frozen pizza.

You know what they have now that just tickled my fancy when I was planning on some E/M pizzas? Tiny pepperoni! It made the E/M pizza even more like a shrunken real pizza!

http://www.hormelfoods.com/~/media/HormelFoods/Images/Brands/Product%20Shots/High%20Res%20Product%20Shots/hormel-pepperoni.ashx

They’re about the size of my fingertip when cooked up and curly.

This is one way I use up the leftover hot dog buns, because of course the number of hot dogs in a package never matches up with the number of buns.

Obama.

I always buy matching packages. Eight hot dogs in a package, eight buns in a package. I haven’t seen hot dog packages with 10 in them in years.

French bread is my choice, but even better is the “everything bread” they sell in the store bakery. It has all the good spices. And I’m not afraid of using jar sauce, but I like Bertolli’s tomato basil the most. I get those bags of frozen peppers and onions all the time so it’s quick to thaw a handful and toss on with cheese. Pepperoni is good if I have it but I have no problem using deli ham. I’ll even throw on some pineapple if it’s around.

But nothing, and I mean nothing compares to my pretzel pizza crust so it’s totally worth the effort if I have time.