Don’t focus too much on mortality. I have two close relatives who are driving me crazy with their imagined illnesses ! How does one convince someone that he’s not going to die soon ? Every sneeze portends death, with these guys. We’re all old, myself and the other guys. I know, and they should, that the end isn’t too far off. I don’t want to die, either, but I can’t see spending my remaining days worried over the inevitable. Some waste life worrying about death. That just seems like a shame. I don’t know how or when I will die. “If” is a certainty. But I refuse to obsess about death. The Grim Reaper will find me, I have no doubt. But he’d better bring back-up, ‘cause I ain’t goin’ peacefully.
Might I suggest you look up “psychosomatic?” The mods might be willing to change the thread title if you ask nicely.
If you aren’t a psychologist or a medical doctor, and it sounds like you’re neither, then you should probably lay off on diagnosing anyone. It doesn’t sound like you’re talking about psychosomatic illnesses, for one thing. And for another thing, people with psychosomatic illnesses don’t respond well to someone telling them to “just enjoy life, you big ole worry wort!” They have serious mental health problems and are need of serious help.
I don’t think the OP is entirely wrong is using the term “psychosomatic” here. It sounds like hypochondria to me, and hypochondria is a type of somatoform disorder, which is a type of psychosomatic illness.
Anyway, this isn’t the kind of thing that’s one going to win by convincing anyone of anything. It’s essentially irrational by definition. Some people might be persuaded out of it, but some people go from one doctor to the next until they find one who “takes them seriously.”
In the end, your friends to find a mental health professional who can help them deal with this. Anti depressive medications are supposed to be helpful for some people.
Offer to go with him to a doctor. Tell him you’d like to be in there for the diagnosis and recommendations, because 2 listeners remember more than 1. Then… You’ll be witness to whether it’s real or imaginary and can tell him to shush with the whining.
One way I dealt with my old roommate’s neuroses was to go to WebMD and read a list of symptoms. This is a guy who almost always thought something was wrong or that he was afflicted with whatever was in the news at the time. He would go and get checked out, and be told he was fine, but he had a tendency to let his imagination run wild.
I would ask, “Do you feel like ‘x?’” and he would answer “yes.”
Then I would find another one. “How about ‘y?’” Once again, he confirmed that he did feel that way.
I then found one of the more obscure symptoms and asked if that was also part of his condition. Once he said that, yes, it was, I announced that, I didn’t know how to break it to him, but he had some sort of female-specific disease / issue. (I don’t remember what it was)
He had a laugh about it and strangely enough, the hypochondria subsided shortly thereafter.
I don’t know if that will necessarily help in your situation, depending on the relationship you have with your relatives.
Yes, I meant hypochondria. No, I’m not a medical professional. Hypochondriacs suffer psychosomatic symptoms, I believe. I’m not a watchmaker, either. But I can tell time. The guys I mentioned are my brothers and both are highly vulnerable to suggestion regarding their own health, but immune to any suggestion their symptoms may be psychosomatic, though they clearly are. I agree, this disorder is virtually impossible to change, despite my constant effort to help them see things in their true light.