:rolleyes: Pfft. Go back to the bible belt you fascist bastard.
I can’t; my job requires me to stay in California. I sweep the floors of a local gym, and collect the toenail clippings which I then sterilize in a 400-degree oven for 45 minutes mind you because I’m no fool and then I take them and arrange them on my nipples while masturbating and listening to the theme from “Thundercats” to satisfy my fetish for having Lion-O walk on me while having oral sex.
Don’t you judge me! It’s all perfectly harmless, so STFU!
Sorry 'bout that. I read that right after I hit send.
Either way, it’s still disgusting.
And barebacking.
Dan Savage takes kind of a “live and let live” approach to sexual matters. If everything is consensual, if you take precautions* to keep yourself and your partner healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally, he pretty much gives you the go ahead.
This explains his problem with scat, bestiality, and pedophilia…either consent is not obtainable or you can get really nasty diseases. Now, can you get nasty diseases from sterilized pubic hairs? Probably not. Do you need to get consent from the pubic hair guy? No…if he sheds his pubic hairs on the urinal, they’re pretty much fair game; he doesn’t EVER have to know, and it’s not hurting him at all.
Is the letter writer emotionally healthy? :dubious: Well, we all have our quirks. We don’t have enough information to know if this is seriously interfering with his life and making him miserable. And just because it’s elaborate doesn’t automatically mean it’s unhealthy. How many of you have ironed your sheets, lit candles and incense, groomed yourself immaculately, worn something sexy and impractical, and made a fancy, “all-the-stops-out” dinner so that you could have “special” sex with someone? I certainly hope that most of you have!
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m just trying to give you some insight into Savage’s way of giving advice (I think the man just wants to make us think). The thought of other people’s pubic hairs makes me want to throw up a little. Ewwww.
*Don’t spread any diseases.
Don’t break any hearts.
Don’t tell any lies.
Don’t make any babies.
Yeah, I’m funny that way, expecting people who label other people sick to have something other than having vocal cords located in their rectal areas to back it up.
- Where in the letter does C (for Correspondent) indicate he’s “obsessed”? He references a guy he “likes.”
- Where does C indicate he’s “dependent” on masturbation and not either in or seeking a “real relationship”?
- Where does C indicate he is unable to reach orgasm except through this process?
- How is collecting someone’s cast-off pubes from a public urinal an invasion of privacy?
- So I guess all those gay kids who seek reassurance that they’re normal are really unhealthy, huh?
- Again, nothing in the letter indicates that C can’t orgasm without this process, but even if he does, the shame comes from the sort of judgmental prick who calls him unhealthy.
Just long enough to provide something based in reality, please.
Ironed the sheets? 
Kinky.
But the really kinky person would iron the pubes into the sheets, while they’re still on the bed, giving them that faux marble look that would fool the non-aesthete. Might even make it their own particular shibboleth for sorting out dates that are worth persevering with.
You know, only two people in this thread have used the word ‘sick’ (before me, that is): Otto and “Dan Savage”, who appeared to be concerned that the correspondent was going to ‘make other people sick’ with his story.
Hmm, now that I re-read it, I don’t see any indication that he’s “obsessed.” Unless, of course, you count the bit about wiping the guy’s pubic hairs off a public toilet and then placing them in his mouth while masturbating. Maybe things are different in your neck of the woods; where I come from, a “hello” suffices.
No real indication of that, either. I’m just inferring, in my judgemental and uptight way, that romantic prospects would be turned off upon encountering an apartment filled with ziploc bags containing strangers’ pubic hairs.
Right again, Otto. Maybe C isn’t so much a pervert as he is just really bad at time management. All’s I know is that I can orgasm from masturbating without having to spend any time sneaking into restrooms, locking doors, or sterilizing strangers’ body hair.
Be a lamb and try to make it all the way through my explanation next time, m’kay? Targeting a specific person and covertly taking their body hair for the purposes of orgasming while imagining having oral sex with that person, is stalker-like obsession, an invasion of that person’s privacy.
Yes, Otto. As usual, you have summed up exactly what I was saying – healthy, consensual homosexual relationships are exactly the same thing as putting strangers’ pubic hairs in your mouth for the purposes of masturbation. I mean, it’s all about nothing more than sex, right? Whatever it takes to get off gets the all clear. All this nonsense about “getting to know someone” and “mutual respect and understanding” and “sex as a consensual act of mutual pleasure and devotion” is all archaic heterocentrism. Boil some hot water and point me towards the nearest public bathroom. I’m going in.
At least you waited until point 5 to try to play the gay card. It’d be nice if it were possible to point out that homosexual relationships can actually be healthy, mutually satisfying, and capable of building more than just sexual climax, instead of just having to fall back on “everything’s fine and there’s no shame in any of it!”
But at least I’m not the one defending the guy who’s wiping a stranger’s pubic hairs off a public toilet and then putting them in his mouth while masturbating. So while people like me may run the risk of embarrassing the guy to knock some sense into him, people like you and Mr. Savage will continue enabling him to indulge in whatever obsessive and self-loathing fetish he comes up with next.
One way, he realizes “my life can be better than this, and I don’t have to sneak around bathrooms to be satisfied physically, emotionally, and sexually.” The other way, he tells himself he feels good about what he’s doing, while he goes to bed alone with a stack of ziploc bags on the nightstand and wakes up alone with dirty sheets, coughing up some stranger’s pubes.
And by the way, this is already straining the civility level of MPSIMS; if you want to go on calling me a judgemental prick who’s talking out his ass, you might want to take it to the Pit.
You call it obsession, fine. I disagree and neither of us will persuade the other. So I’ll ask again, where is the harm?
I imagine they would be, if they were to encounter such a thing. Of course, there is no reasonable reading of the letter as presented that there is more than one bag or that they are kept anywhere where someone coming into the residence would encounter them.
And your evidence that C can’t orgasm without doing this is…what exactly?
You mean this “explanation”?
How exactly is saying that you think it doesn’t need to be explained an explanation?
How? You have yet to explain how collecting hairs off a public toilet without the knowledge of the person from whom they’ve detached is an invasion of privacy. Just saying it is doesn’t make it so.
Here’s a little secret from my own sordid past. Back in the day, some of the strippers I’d watch would rip apart their wifebeaters. I’d pick up the discarded wifebeaters and, when I got home from the bar, sometimes I’d touch myself while smelling the shirts and thinking about the strippers. So I suppose I invaded those strippers’ privacy by picking up their discards and using them? Or did I maybe just have a little fun with a fantasy? A couple of times I even did it while I had a boyfriend, so fit that into your little “can’t form romantic attachments” theory.
Yes Sol, as usual you have completely missed the point. Your claim was that asking a newspaper columnist for reassurance that one is normal is an indication that one is abnormal. It wasn’t that long ago that people were writing Ann Landers and Dear Abby asking for reassurance that they were normal for having same-sex attraction.
This might just be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read. But yes, in fact, anything that gets one off, so long as it does no harm to the person getting off or anyone else, is fine. Sorry you have such a hatred for kinky people.
Have fun. Hope you can get over this bizarre aversion to fantasizing while masturbating.
Could you please e-mail me a copy of the certificate that confers upon you the title of Lord God King Who Decides What Is and Isn’t Self-Loathing? I’m curious as to what one looks like. Did you have to go to a special school to get it?
How exactly do you know how fulfilling his life is? You know exactly one thing about this man, that he collects the detached pubes of a guy he likes, sterilizes them and masturbates while holding the hairs in his mouth. And from that you’ve diagnosed him as obsessive, lonely and self-loathing. What a crock.
Did you get your Junior Mod certificate the same place as your Lord God King one? And I didn’t call you any of those things; but hey, if you recognize yourself in the description maybe you can use that to grow as a person.
Um, excuse me? You’re pulling this bullshit on me why exactly? I number of people expressed the opinion that C was not healthy. Is “sick” not a reasonable antonym of “healthy” in this circumstance? Is “sick” not a reasonable synonym for “not healthy”?
I’m pretty sure I’m not a Junior Mod, and yet, after reading SolGrundy’s post calling the guy unhealthy, and after reading Large Marge’s post saying the same thing, I fail to see how you aren’t calling them judgemental pricks. Especially after you lay it out like this:
Thing is, no matter how toasty it’s getting in here, everyone knows it’s still MPSIMS, right? One of the “no insults to other posters” fiefdoms in the Kingdom of Cecil? Yes?
Good.
Otto, there’s no insulting other posters in MPSIMS–not even a little bit. Not even when you really, really feel like there needs to be. Not even when you’re sure the thread is going to head off to the Pit. (Which, this one is.) Don’t do it again.
… and, off to the Pit with y’all. This thread’s dangling by a hair, anyway.
Sol, I’m going to ignore the rest of your ridiculous judgemental statements, and just concentrate on these:
Where is it written that one must always abstain from self-gratification and constantly be in persuit of a flesh-and-blood relationship? Tell me that you’ve never, ever, in your life masturbated.
There have been a few–scant few–moments in my life when the Swedish Volleyball Team was not knocking down my door demanding to orally pleasure me. Yeah, I know, bad times. This is sexually deviant of me, I know, but during those extremely rare times, it occasionally occurred to me to touch my own willy. Oh, the perversity of it all! Good thing I came to my senses and instead went out and asked the minister’s daughter if she’d like to go out for a soda pop. And thank Og for judgemental pricks like you who remind deviants like me that pleasure must always be shared. Otherwise it’s e-vul.
Mind you, I think that C’s little habit is a bit, uh, “colorful”, and I wouldn’t do any such thing myself. But next time throw a brick at your own glass house. Because the smart money says that you’ve masturbated at least once in your life. You sick fuck.
I like to define a class of sexual behaviour called “OK as long as you don’t hurt anything, but for the love of God please don’t talk to me about it.” This qualifies, along with furries, adult babies, etc.
So my fetish about gummi worms and vaseline is something I should keep to myself, then?
You shouldn’t keep it to yourself, but you should certainly keep details of your Gummi relationships confined to the Gummi-Worm-and-Vaseline (GWAV) fetish community. Talking about it in alt.sex.gummi.worms.and.vaseline? OK. Starting a GWAVFetishists Yahoo group? OK. Asking someone if they’re “Friend of the Petrolated Gummi” and then finding someplace private to talk about the matter in private? OK.
Public discussion? Not so OK.
Woah, there, padnah. Who said anything about sex? I like to eat gummi worms and I like to put vaseline on my chest when I have a cold. Sex? You think I like to have sex with gummi worms? You are one sick puppy!
Gummi bears, on the other hand–best fuck I’ve ever had.
I don’t think the correspondant said that he never has sex with other humans or is unable to get off without this ritual. None of you married guys ever masturbate with the use of porn? (let’s face it, a colorful prop that makes things more interesting. Kinda like pubic hairs in your mouth or a Dale the Chipmunk costume or women’s underpants) How is this different? Can’t you get off without porn? Isn’t thinking of some woman you’re not married to while beating off stalkerish? Did you ask the Springfield High School ‘Fighting Wildcats’ cheerleaders for permission first?
Are we sure the Correspondent is male BTW?
Anyhow, people who are usually asking for reassurance that their sexual behaviour is normal, usually have some guilt/shame issues they need to deal with. The behaviour might not be a problem, but the person might need some help to overcome those feelings, perhaps by doing that they might seek a less unusual outlet, perhaps not.
Although this is oogy and TMI, it’s probably in the same ballpark as finding a strange yet sexy pair of underwear mixed in with your laundry when you get home from the laundrette, and fantasising about the owner. Or those guys who take a pair of their girlfriend’s dirty panties for their own pleasure (some of whom will keep the panties even after the relationship ends).
Okay, this thread has already exceeded my absurd quota for the week.
Well gee, tdn, maybe if you spent less time ignoring my “ridiculous statements” and more time actually reading what I write, then you wouldn’t have completely missed the point of what I was saying. Then you wouldn’t have had to post your knee-jerk response and would’ve had more time to devote to that masturbation that you love so much.
I realize that you have all these smarmy, condescending posts built up with nowhere to go, and that your typing fingers become engorged with come-backs, and there’s pressure to get it out but not always a suitable target for you to unleash it on. But I ask that you aim more carefully in the future and not get it on me. Try to think of the Lord and how He wants you to have a safe and healthy Reading Life with mutual respect and understanding with your conversation partner. And don’t fucking try to make “if you have to get off there are easier and equally satisfying ways to do it other than putting some stranger’s pubes in your mouth” into a hyper-religious anti-masturbation manifesto.
Keep both hands above the desk, use your other pointing device to scroll upwards, try to get over your fear of numbers greater than 2, and read my entire list and my entire post. What the hell; read the entire thread this time. It’s a ripping yarn filled with surprises (like where SolGrundy actually acknowledges that he indulges in self-abuse on occasion!) and opportunities for growth, like where SolGrundy says that a healthy sex life, including masturbating, should not require as much effort, self-doubt, and guilt as described in the letter in the OP.
And of course, I would tell you to go fuck yourself, but that seems superfluous in this thread.