I am sure that your milk production increased because you’d been with your little lad! Great! And now you are nearer to him, you will be able to put more energy into recovery.
I know that they are ultra conservative here (and there is no culture of partners helping) but the five day stay for vaginal birth and 10 day stay for cesarean in Japan I think really helps, particularly if you have a baby who can’t come home with you. At least you get a few extra days to rest and be with babe before you have to start that dreadful commute.
When I had my second baby, who was a placenta previa baby, I was hospitalised from 30 weeks, because there was a fetal artery and a maternal vein (or the other way round!) running right over the cervix and the placenta was very thin at that point. As we were watching the scan that decided it the baby stuck his arm right into my cervix area and SHOVED. EEEK! We kept me with my legs crossed, only allowed to pee and shower for seven weeks until they decided he was ready to come out, and then I had an “emergency” cesarean. (The timing was planned etc but they had to cut through the placenta to get him out and they knew I would bleed a lot.)
I had to have a blood transfusion but luckily had stocked a litre of my own blood so was able to use that, and then made up the other 700mls with drips and LOTS of injections. I was so lightheaded for three days that I couldn’t sit up suddenly without fainting. Hokkaido Babe was fine though. He was smallish (six pounds) and had trouble regulating his oxygen for a few days, so was in an incubator.
His suck was incredibly weak, we’d sit there with me trying to wake him up and him licking my nipple every few minutes. Two hours later and his weight would have increased by 2grams or, thrills 6 grams. It was so, so, so frustrating.
However, we both came out of hospital together 12 days later, feeling fairly well. Feeding continued to be a struggle, I think because they didn’t help me pump (there is the mad notion in Japan that hand expressing is best. They would NOT accept that I can’t do it, and refused me a pump, or to sterilise the one my friend bought for me. So I couldn’t start pumping until after we got home.) It was also an extremely hot summer and I just could not drink enough for me and milk production together. However, he was exclusively breastfed for six months, and then went to formula, breast and a bit of solid food too. My milk finally stopped at 9 months due to a very traumatic long-distance move, involving a lot of very heavy lifting on my part.
Looking back I feel that I could not have done more than I did. He was fed for six months and that was the best I could do. I wish it had been the same as with my older boy, who was born at 41 weeks and was a big fat baby (8 1/2 lbs) with a suck that could have stuck him to the wall. He nursed until he was a year old, when sitting still got too boring for him, sniff… But his birth and our living circumstances were so different that you can’t compare the two experiences.
Tanookie you are doing so well, it is barely a week yet. I am sure that you are not suffering so much from post partum depression as post partum shock! Of course if in a few days you are not feeling better, then meds may very well be a good option to look into. But just now the crying and the shell shock is entirely appropriate.
Lots of people here are looking out for you. Even if we can’t help practically, you know there are lots of sympathetic ears listening to you at any time you need to talk.
How is your big girl coping with all the upheaval? Has she seen her baby brother yet?
And look on the bright side of all this - now is not the time for dieting, so go and indulge yourself for a few days with whatever comfort food does it for you!
