Well, everybody knows the little tygerette is on the way… We are pondering some of the big decisions that come up. In particular, we are trying to decide what is best for us and the baby to be. So we are interested in opinions, facts or experiences that may help our pondering…Which is better or more beneficial for baby - breast feeding or bottle feeding? What are the drawbacks for each?
China girl turns 1 year old today.
From all the research I did, breast is the “perfect” food for babies. It is also where babies get their anti-bodies and resistance to illness until they are about a year old. Study after study have shown it’s clearly healthier, breast fed babies grow faster, and the baby poop certainly is not nearly as foul as with the formula fed babies.
But it is a helluva lot of work for Mom. Actually, it’s a helluva lot of work for all involved. You probably need a team to keep your spirits up as it’s easy to lose the enthusiasms necessary to really do a good job breast feeding.
I would also suggest you invest in a really good breast pump so that other’s can help with the feeding.
I’d say it really depends on your situation. Obviously, it will be a lot easier if you’re staying at home for at least the first few months. It’s a lot tougher if you’re back at work in a month?
Again, would stress that IMHO to be successful, you need all the caregivers on board with the breast feeding.
Big campaign going in the UK right now - breastfeeding is “the best baby food” and also helps the mother avoid breast cancer later on. Heaven knows how, but it’s worth knowing anyhoo.
“I was tinned, meself…”
- Sergeant Ash on the baby milk debate, Operation Good Guys, BBC TV.
Breast milk at first is absolutely best. Colostrum contains antibodies that the bebe will need.
My son was breastfed for 10 days. He nearly starved - I had lots of milk but apparently there was no nutrition. He went on to formula at my doctor’s insistence.
Formula takes a lot of work and is expensive. Breastfeeding is always at hand, and free; but you’ll have to express so that daddy can help with the feeding and bond with the babe. Breast milk freezes with no loss of nutritional value.
Congratulations!
on KQRC’s morning show this morning, they had the “Freak of the Week.” The guy was a member of Citizens Against Breastfeeding. He claimed that 87.5% of women had an orgasm while breastfeeding and this led to the sexual abuse of infants. His numbers came from a study of 200,000 women.
I can’t tell if this guy was real or not because he sounded very similar to one of the guys on the show. But there are lots of weird people out there, so who knows? Just a little FYI.
It is absolutely inconceivable that a nutcase (or nutcases) like that would have the resources to make a study of 200,000 women. Absolutely a fake.
Ender, there is a website for that “organization” too, and there have been links posted here followed by the debunking of it as a hoax.
Anyhoo, as for the OP: Breast milk is best. Just as others have said. However, as others have also said, breastfeeding is neither easy or automatic for most women in developed countries. We haven’t seen it done, our moms and neighbors can’t help, we’ve got weird public attitudes about the breast, moms typically don’t have the resources to rest as much as they should after birth, formula companies make formula easily accessible and tempting, hospitals don’t do all they can to promote a good start to breastfeeding, labor drugs may interfere a bit, our culture has ideas about where and when baby should sleep and eat that sometimes work against nursing… the list goes on, and very little of it is the fault of the moms, but this sort of stuff does contribute mightily to discourage women from breastfeeding and to keep some of them from establishing an adequate supply. That’s why you hear so many stories of women who tried but can’t. Medically, it’s supposed to be a real small % of women who can’t provide enough milk–but throw these other personal/societal factors in there, and more women have problems.
However, it’s not impossible–I’m just writing all that so you’ll know you need to commit to it if that’s your choice. If you decide you want to breastfeed, start getting support and help NOW. My HMO paid for me to take a breastfeeding class, for example. There are also La Leche League meetings you can attend. Buy some books (I recommend “So That’s What They’re For!” but the Motherly Art of Breastfeeding and The Nursing Mother’s Companion or Bestfeeding are okay too.) Get the number of a few lactation consultants and don’t hesitate to call one if needed. They make house calls. Also, get your significant other on board. They say that above all else, the father’s support is the biggest factor contributing to sticking with breastfeeding.
If you decide to formula feed, know that formulas vary (not in quality, but in little ways) and one might agree with your baby less than others. You may have to try more than one, but don’t switch on a whim. There is nothing wrong with the “off-brand” formulas (the same company makes the kind sold at Wal-Mart, at K-Mart, at Target, etc). They just don’t market it the way the others are, so it’s cheaper.
Even if you decide to formula feed, try breastfeeding for at least a little while. Not because I think this is a sneaky way to change your mind, but because even a little bit of breastmilk can have big benefits. Breastmilk is really good stuff; it has amazing properties and scientists are still learning about it. Formula is getting better all the time, but they haven’t improved on nature.
FWIW, I did both (nursed my son for 13 months, but supplemented with formula all along). I wish I could have exclusively breastfed, but that didn’t work out. I stuck with it and am glad I did, but I also understand both sides of the issue. There are pluses to both, actually, and some drawbacks to both. I could go on for pages (wait, I already have!) but I’ll shut up and let some other people get a word in edgewise.
A couple of sites for you to peruse at your convenience.www.breastfeeding.com and From the FDA on breast-feeding.
The above sites and previous posters mentioned some of the benefits, antibodies in colostrum, and the fact that baby’s poop is less foul smelling. Additionally, there’s the fact that the food is always there (if you are) and always at the right temperature. I personally found it much easier in the middle of the night. You hear baby fuss, just pick up baby, cuddle up and they’re happy. However, later when I was bottle feeding you hear baby fuss and you have to stumble into the kitchen & warm the formula (if you had the foresight to have it already prepared) making baby wait when already fussing for your comfort. There are benefits to the new Mom as well. The baby’s nursing causes Mom’s uterus to contract (maybe this is what the “Freak of the Week” guy was talking about, although its more of a crampy feeling than an “orgasmic” feeling) enabling her uterus to return to its normal fist size faster than in Mom’s who do not nurse. Additionally, “making milk” requires energy (burns calories). Mom’s who nurse tend to lose baby weight faster than Mom’s who do not. (This is not to imply that it’s an effective diet tool if you were overweight before pregnancy, just that “baby weight” tends to come off easier if you are nursing.)
I had good experiences breast-feeding my boys, it’s not easy. At times it was painful. It wasn’t easy for me but it was worth the effort.
And though I’m not inclined to link it here. The group mentioned by Enderw24 and IzzyR does have a website.
Abby
P.S. A note to Tygr, nursing makes Mom quite thirsty and if Mom hurries to comfort baby she often forgets to get a drink before she sits down. One of the sweetest things you can do for the mother of your child when baby “calls” is to get up when she does. When you are home as she goes to feed baby, get her a drink of water and then sit quietly with her while she nurses. It’s a much more caring, tender thing to do than having her go off to babies room alone for twenty or thirty minutes every few hours. And I’d bet my last two cents that your sweetheart will be touched and pleased to have your company.
I never bottle fed my kids, so I can’t give you lots of info on that. But I can tell you that I never, ever forgot to bring food for the baby when I went out. Never had to mix anything up or warm it. I did pump occasionally (more with my elder than the more recent lestrangelet) so that I could go to work occasionally (I mostly work from home, but every now and then have to spend an evening away). Bfing seems extremely difficult at the beginning, but ultimately saves money (self evident, when you see formula prices!) and time (no mixing, warming, washing things, etc.). Kiddos who bf are less likely to have diahrrea. Lower breast cancer rates for bfing moms has already been mentioned. I was told after both lestrangelets were born that bfing helps the uterus contract back to its normal size more quickly, thus lessening the risk of hemmorage. And breast milk is what nature (or God, your preference) has designed for feeding babies. Formula, though it is far and away better than past versions, and a godsend for those who need it, is an imitation, one without the antibodies breast milk has. And every now and then, researchers find something else that they never knew was in breast milk that needs to be added to formula. Hey, IMHO, if you’ve got the perfect food for free, why pay money for an imitation that’s pretty darn good, but not perfect?
Breast feeding is also a very pleasant experience, in a way bottle feeding is not. Not to say bottle feeding isn’t pleasant–I have fed nieces and nephews by bottle, and it was fine and lovely, very cuddly and snuggly and a good time was had by all. But bfing is a different experience, and quite nice, once you get the hang of it–it feels good. I absolutely do not, however, believe that one must bf to bond with a baby.
The first couple of weeks was hard, but then we settled into a routine, and it became extremely easy. In my opinion, the difficulty of the first weeks was definitely outweighed by the convenience of later months. Dad doesn’t need to feed baby to bond, so don’t feel obligated to choose a feeding method on that basis. (I’m not saying, though, that it’s not nice to have a break now and then.) I found it easier to do night feedings myself --my advice, if you’re breastfeeding, and I highly recommend it based on my experience, keep the baby near you at night, in a bassinet or whatever. Then you don’t need to get up, and when baby is done, pop them back in and off to sleep you go with a minimum of effort. when baby is sleeping longer stretches, you can come up with other arrangements. Keeping babies who still nurse at night (and they will for awhile) in cribs down the hall is not ideal for breastfeeding moms. Or bottle feeding moms, either, but with a bottle you have to get up and go to the kitchen anyway. If you’re bfing and have things arranged right, you never have to get out of bed.
Besides the “getting acquainted” period, there’s really only one drawback I can think of–you can’t measure the milk. Bottles come marked in ounces, and you can see how much Jr. is drinking, so you can know definitely just by watching the numbers that sufficient food has been ingested. Breasts aren’t marked that way. Now, this is not an insurmountable difficulty. You can watch the baby and see that diapers are being wet regularly. You need to trust your assessment of the baby’s health–baby is gaining weight, looks and acts healthy, fills diapers, therefore, baby is getting enough to eat. Or baby just doesn’t seem right, or isn’t peeing much–call the Dr or visit the ER right away. But it can be hard to have confidence that things are going right when the lactation consultant has told you to nurse the kid 20 minutes on a side, and you have what a friend of mine calls “an efficient nurser.” The elder lestrangelet could finish a meal in three minutes flat. I was worried, and watched her closely, but she grew and thrived.
I also know folks who bf at home but bring bottles when they shop, etc. and to me that defeats part of the convenience of bfing. If you’re somewhere where you need a quiet baby, or baby is hungry, or both, it’s pretty easy to discreetly nurse either right where you are, or to move to the back of the church or whatever and take care of the problem. This takes practice and confidence, and sometimes a strategically placed receiving blanket, but is entirely doable. When I had to go somewhere like that, I scoped out a seat where I could nurse discreetly, and/or could get up and leave the room with a minimum of fuss. In fact, bfing or not, you learn pretty quickly to take seats with easy escape routes when you’re in church or similar situations.
I agree that it’s important to have everyone around you support you in your choice if you bf–during those first learning weeks you don’t need everyone telling you how much easier it’d be if you only bottle fed, because it is hard to start with. But the payoff is worth it–once you’ve got things down, it’s free and convenient.
Oh, BTW, congratulations!
Did anyone mention that breast feeding is also the best way to establish a deep bond with the baby?
Weeeeeeeeeell, now keep in mind I was a card-carrying La Leche League member, and this was practically a mantra among the biggest breast feeding advocates…but I have to say that I’ve never been real fond of this argument. It implies that (a) fathers don’t bond deeply; and (b) moms who bottlefeed regard their babies like so much rotting cod. Um, the latter is a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but judging from the reaction of some moms who are told about the bonding claim, I think that’s how it sounds to them.
Not every breastfeeding mom connects breastfeeding with special feelings toward the baby at first, either. My friend had a case of thrush and she was weeping with dread before every feeding, until they got it diagnosed and cleared up.
I think breastfeeding is special and amazing, and unless you do it, you’ll never know just how much that’s true. But I don’t think that BF moms have a monopoly on bonding.
I agree Cranky! I get real irked by people who imply that bf’ing is essential to bottlefeeding.
I’m pretty committed to breastfeeding as the best and easiest option for both mother and baby although with my eldest we went through hell and back before it was a cruisy experience. Number 2 was a breeze to feed from the start. I’ve nannied and dear god bottlefeeding is a hassle in comparision!
I don’t get worked up about the dad being left out of the breastfeeding experience. I don’t think that feeding the baby is such a ‘bonding’ experience that formula should be fed to the baby in preference to breast milk. There’s plenty of other ways for a father to bond with their offspring.
I also never pumped. I just suck at pumping. I have heaps of milk but am totally pump impaired. As I was at home with my boys I never felt the need to pump and freeze and do all that palaver. My babies came with me or I didn’t go.
It has to be said that sometimes breastfeeding doesn’t work out but there’s no evidence that choosing bottle feeding ahead of time is a good idea. At least trying breastfeeding is a worthwhile thing. I personally didn’t find it to be a lot of work and I didn’t feel like I needed a lot of support once feeding was established. The first 6 weeks yeah they were challenging with sprog 1 but not with sprog 2.
Congratulations and good luck!
Jesus wept! And the prize for most incoherent sentence of the week goes to Primaflora!
I of course meant “Breastfeeding is essential to BONDING!”
I think I’ll go to bed now with my sick wee bloke :(. Did I mention that looking after sick toddlers while breastfeeding is a damned sight easier than when they are weaned?
I have a friend who has two children she adopted at birth,both babies were obviously bottle fed and both are doing quite well. And yes, she has bonded with them both. My friend however gets a little upset whenever some asks if she bottle or breast fed and promptly goes on a tirade against her and her methods when told bottle fed.
Now don’t get me wrong here I’m not saying bring back the bottle full time,because I too think breast feeding is the best, butI think that one should look at the whole picture before going off on women about their choices. After all not everyone is the same.
Stay-At-Home-Dad here.
Soupo started out on breast milk, for all of 5 weeks. Then The Little Woman went back to work. Switched to formula (Similac powder) and carried on. He didn’t balk at the switch at all, more food for less effort. He’s 4 1/2 now. No problems.
Katcha got breast milk for about a week. He had a super-powerful suck, and did a number on Mom’s poor boobies. Cracked nipples (with the lanolin cream), soreness, just now a good scene. Also switched to formula. Now a year and some change. No problems.
Soupo would drink the formula at whatever temperature we gave it to him. Right out of the fridge, room temp, warm like they advise on the package. Katcha likes his warm. His formula had to be warm anyway. When we switched him over to cow’s milk at 11 months, that could be cold.
Breast milk is best, but not so much better as to outweigh all the hassles of breast feeding. (For us anyway. Many woman breast feed, no problem.) As long as there are no allergies, and your child will take the bottle, formula works out nicely.
-Rue.
I remembered to “preview” and there’s Primaflora’s post. Pretty much the reverse of mine. Well, this is what I have to say to you, Mrs. Breastfeeder…cool for you. If you can breast feed do it. If not, don’t sweat it. There are so many other things to obsess about. And so many other oportunities to screw up your kid, don’t get all worked up about mealtime.
R3nergy8, we got the “Breast or bottle?” question asked too. And the lecture. We tended to walk away. “But my boobies don’t work!” I’d cry.
Actually it would sound more like “Bite me.”
Once again,
-Rue.
I had to wean flodjunior to the bottle when he was only a month old - we later worked out that because of his neuro-muscular issues, he was probably unable to suckle. Synthetic bottle nipples don’t feel pain, and they drip out milk with little effort on the baby’s part. When flod2k came along, he was a champion nurser, and after we got over a painful bout of thrush things went great. He weaned himself when he was 12 months old.
Having done both, I would say that breastfeeding is better enough for mother and baby to be worth a lot of work in the beginning. I see absolutely no advantages to planning to bottlefeed in the vast majority of cases.
I breastfed my kids for the length of time I was off of work and then switched to formula (after the frozen breast milk was gone). With my daughter I did it for 6 months and with my son I did it for 3 1/2 months. Having experience with both I can say that I loved breastfeeding my kids. It was easy, convenient, and free. I didn’t get strange looks if I was in public and had to feed one of my kids but I tried to make sure they were fed immediately before going out somewhere so I wouldn’t have to stop whatever we were doing to feed the baby. I always wore shirts that gave the kids “easy access” and I put a blanket over me. Usually no one was the wiser as to what was going on. I always liked the noises my kids would make while they were nursing. Little coos and grunts of satisfaction and they would always hold onto my shirt and snuggle close to me. It was a great bonding experience for all of us.
With bottle feeding I had to always wash bottles… about 8 a day… that was pretty much the only downside… that and having to carry a heavier diaper bag. Other people got to feed the baby so it was nice to have a little break and let others enjoy feeding the kids. The kids didn’t mind the switch at all and they kept growing and gaining weight just like they did when I was breastfeeding them. They still snuggled close while drinking from the bottle and the bonding was just the same as with breastfeeding.
It can be a little difficult at first but after about a week you’ll both get the hang of it. Don’t give up too easily. Getting the baby to latch on is probably the hardest thing to do when you first start breastfeeding. Just lift up your breast (and yes, they do get quite heavy and large!) and place the entire areola in the baby’s mouth. Don’t let them suck on just the nipple! That hurts sooooo bad. If your breasts get sore and red you may want to see the doctor and get you and the baby checked for thrush. My daughter had this (a common reaction to some antibiotics she was on) and the doctor prescribed her some stuff to put in her mouth to clear it up and I just had to make sure I washed my breasts before each feeding. If you’re having trouble getting the baby to latch on you can use a nipple shield. It’s a little round piece of soft plastic shaped like an areola/nipple that you place over your nipple and it makes it easier for the baby to latch on. I used one of these with my daughter (first child) for a few days because I couldn’t get her to latch on properly… it worked like a charm.
My sister-in-law didn’t breastfeed either one of her kids because - and I quote - “It’s disgusting. I can’t stand the thought of a baby sucking on my boobs. It just doesn’t seem right!” That, to me, is just plain stupid. But, if you’re thinking of it in some sort of sexual way, it’s probably best that you don’t breastfeed your kids. It’s perfectly natural to breastfeed your baby but, at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with bottlefeeding. It’s a personal choice I guess. I didn’t critisize her for her choice but she sure did critisize me for mine. Several people on my SO’s side of the family think breastfeeding is too time consuming and a pain in the ass because you can’t put them in a car seat and “prop a bottle in their mouth.” Well, I wouldn’t “prop” a bottle in their mouth to begin with because I always liked holding my kids whether they were breastfeeding or bottle feeding. You’ll get opinions from everyone. Tell them to shut the hell up, it’s your baby and you’ll feed it how you see fit!
Congratulations and good luck with whatever you decide!
I have two kids and I brest fed the first and bottle fed the second. I thoroughly enjoyed nursing my son and found it easier (and way cheaper) than formula feeding. I never pumped, but just took him with me wherever I went (if I was going to be gone longer than an hour or three). I had scads of milk and Nick grew and thrived like mad. No problems for either of us. However, my second child was 3 months premature and very ill – she couldn’t suck until she was a month old. I tried pumping but had little success and swiftly lost my milk. This was probably due to the stress I was undergoing at the time – for much of her first 6 weeks Doe was not expected to live, Nick was only 10 months old when she was born and, because Doe had been born while we were on leave in Wisconsin, Nick and I stayed with my in-laws whom I had only met one time before. Oh, and since my husband was in the Navy, he had to come back to Virginia without us after 2 weeks and Nick and I stayed behind until Doe got out of the hospital. And, did I mention that Doe had been delivered via a classic c-section? Eeeww. It was a wretched 2 months and pumping milk just didn’t happen. So Doe was formula fed. And she grew just fine. She wasn’t sick much more often than Nick had been (other than complications from the prematurity and her cerebral palsy, neither of which is attributable to bottle-feeding, natch. I am equally bonded with both of them – although if my bonding with Doe had been impaired it would probably have been attributable to the 2 months she spent in an isolette rather than any feeding issue. They are about equally smart, too. Although grade-wise, Doe is a little the smarter – their most recent report cards show Nick as having 4 A’s and 3 B’s, while Doe got all A’s.
Whew! That was a lot of background to get me to my point: Jkayla, nursing is great if it works for you. Give it a try and see how it goes. It is somewhat healthier for the baby. Some people find it easier than messing with bottles and formula. Breastfeeding is most definately cheaper than formula feeding. However, if it doesn’t work for you for any reason, switch over to bottle feeding. Taking care of an infant is stressful and tiring. Do what feels right for you! Your kid will be fine either way.
I’m with everyone else when they say to breastfeed. If you can do it it’s the best thing for your child. I tried very hard to breast feed Littleone. It turns out I was one of the small precentage of women who really can’t produce enough milk, most likely due to a hormone deficiancy. So I say try to feed your baby breastmilk first. Make sue that someone at the hospital who really knows about breastfeeding checks everything out before you leave the hospital, and DO NOT be afraid to call the hospital, or anyone else at any time day or night if you feel that something is wrong. Everthing may be fine, but why take chance with your child.
I have done both. My son refused to take the breast and hated breast milk so he was a formula bottle baby. My daughter loved the breast and breast milk so she was a breast baby until she bit through Mommy’s nipple. My son has never been sick, he carely gets colds. My daughter has been sick most of her life and has had many ear infections.
Bottle feeding is expensive but pretty easy to do. The best thing about breast feeding is the middle of the night. When baby wakes up wanting to eat you just give them the breast and you can go right back to sleep:) But it can be painful and it’s hard to learn both for the mother and the baby. It takes time.
I feel no closer to my daughter than I do my son so I say the bonding claim is crap. Do what you and your wife feel most comfortable doing. Good luck.