Clearly Chick has cursed me to multi-post!
GRRRR!!!
It’s good to see Jack’s keeping up on his current media. Anyone else notice “Akasha” from Queen of the Damned in the group piling of Old Testement Baddies? Along with a zombie, a kabukiman, and some headbangers and various fantasy villains (the guy with the sun on his forhead looks very familiar).
Christ, damnit, this guy is a hoot! Let’s see, what did I like about this tract?
- The long hair skater guy torturing the mouse, then it loving him at the end once he converted.
- The instinctive reaction of little heathen children. “That’s none of your %& business! "What's your #!@# problem?”
- The skater hitting the bird, and the carnage going on at the skate park (looks more like a skate park than a school to me). I especially like the completely horozontal bodies flying around.
- The attribution of everything in the Old Testament to Jesus. Okay, I understand the whole concept of the Trinity always in existance together, but what fucked up re-write of the Bible does this guy own?
- The absolutely horrified look on the kids’ faces when they find out God’s name “is Jesus Christ!” DUN DUN DUN!!!
- The drowning dinosaur/dragon
- He got to re-use the infamous “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” line
- “It smells of deamons and death,” yet tastes like chicken. Go figure.
- “They did not worship Marry.” Funny thing that, NIETHER DO CATHOLICS!!!
Overall, I give it a 7 out of 10, even without a “HAW HAW HAW”. No devil worshipers or Catholics dieing and being cast into lakes of fire, but it did have “sickos” being burnded by Jesus Fire Bombs, so I guess that’s alright.
If these rumors are right, perhaps he’s getting revenge…
Funny site too…
Guin, I bet if you wrote him that you’d left the Catholic Church because of his tracts, decry them as idolaters, and mention some secret rituals in the nunneries where human sacrifice was made to Ba’al or Isis, he’d offer you a book contract with his company.
From what I know of Guin’s life, that’s a half truth at best
as to the monumental Biblical ignorance of modern kids…
I was talking to some neighbor teens who knew I was into the Bible & these were their two main questions-
where in the Bible was there a cow from Hell rising up out of the Earth as it cracked open & belched up flames?
what about Jesus’s quilt?
Now, the “quilt” I easily figured was the Shroud, but it was YEARS before I figured out the cow from Hell…
Charlton Heston’s THE TEN COMMANDMENTS in which God judged the worshippers of the Golden Calf with a fiery earthquake (which the
Calf fell INTO, not ROSE out of! L)
That group of “perverts” looks like your average GWAR concert - I had no idea they’d been around THAT long.
And how lame, to use that tired old “Adam and Steve” bit. Although I guess kids who don’t know what a virgin is probably wouldn’t know that The Religiously Intolerant Man’s Mustache of Eternal Righteousness (RIMMER) hides the smirk of a platitude-stealer.
Hmmmm? A while back I questioned the straightness of Bob, who’s resemblence to John Waters is striking. Now suddenly he has a wife. Intersting, but obviously a cover up.
Come on Bob! Come out of the closet, stop hating yourself and maybe you won’t be so damned bitter! By the way I like how bob is trying to “rap” with the kids in their own “lingo”!
“What I am about to tell you will blow you away”
“God the son is really Awesome”
“He hates it when anyone messes with his name,”
“God puts it down big Time!”
Priceless. Just Boss man, real boss!
Is there any reason at all for the wife/girlfriend (whatever she is) to be in this thing other than to establish that “Bob” is straight. It has the opposite effect. It seems panicky and defensive. Hmmm…his “beard” dosn’t seem to match his moustache.
Funny, I thought that they looked like Raiders fans.
Quix
Must second Chef Troy on the “Adam and Steve” bit.
I would also like to comment on how the dialogue between Bob and the kids reminded me so much of that scene between the father and son in “Better Off Dead”.
ditto on the fucktard ranger hat (can we say “fucktard” here?)
I like the bit about Jesus sending “fire bombs.”