Q about lesbians

Amongst gay men, I understand the concept of “tops” and “bottoms”.

Is there a lesbian equivalant?

“Butch” and “femme” seems kinda close, but as I understand things, that’s less to do with the bedroom and more to do with socializing in general.

Lesbians can have ‘tops’ and ‘bottoms’ as well, though a lot of the time it’s very much tied in with a sub/Domme dynamic as well.

One of my friends recently informed me that butch girls will only perform oral sex on their girlfriends. Meaning they won’t allow their gf to perform oral on them. And they always keep their clothes on. :eek: She’s always considered herself to be on the butch side of things and apparently she didn’t know about this until one of her femme friends told her.
Perhaps this is some strange subculture thing that I was not aware of. I suspect it has something to do with girls just out of high school trying to fit into some strange stereotype (the girls I heard it from are in the 17-20 range). I’m a bisexual female. I usually hang around with people who are 21+, and I’d never heard this before. Does anybody else know anything more about this?
I’ve always thought of butch/femme as being more of a social thing than a bedroom thing.

The butch/femme ID’ing often applies in the bedroom, as well as socially, with the butch taking the role of the top.

Imbrium, what you’re referring to is what we call “stone butches”; and, yeah, they’re out there.

You can go here for more explanation about the various IDs and whatnot (SFW).

I know I’ve definitely heard or read that, Imbrium–and that it was true for the use of, ah, outside appurtenances as well, if you catch my drift. But YMMV, of course–I’m sure it doesn’t hold true for all couples all of the time.

And then, of course, you have the folks who are termed lipstick lesbians, who don’t fit into the butch/femme dynamic and seem primarily to date each other…

But yeah, I would say butch/femme is probably the best comparison to top/bottom rather than sub/domme, since we’re talking about lesbians, instead of “people who are into the bondage subculture” or “lesbians who are into the bondage subculture.”

[/almost certainly unrealistic stereotypes]

Ironically enough, it used to be (circa the 1960s) that butches who liked other butches, or femmes who liked other femmes, were looked down upon. You had to have one of each. :rolleyes:

Thanks for the link. I have been educated.

Tongue & Groove?

I recall seeing some talk show (Montel, maybe?) that featured lesbians. One stands out in my mind. She was in her 50’s, wore work boots, jeans, wide leather belt, trucker’s wallet on a chain, and a plaid shirt.

I guess she’d fall into the “butch” category, but she referred to herself as a “diesel dyke”.