May non-married (i.e., celibate) members of the priesthood (in, say, the Catholic Church or bishops in the Orthodox Communion) have sexual relations? If not, how do they deal with their urges?
How common are celibate members of the priesthood who have sexual relations (notwithstanding whatever is said in answer to question 1)?
Mighty curious am I.
WRS
Priests are not supposed to have sex, as sex outside of marriage is a sin. Their virginity is a gift to G-d. As to how they deal with it, I suppose they try avoidance of temptation, prayer and occasional guilt-ridden masturbation just like everybody else.
I’ve never seen any stats on how many priests keep mistresses, but it was a common enough stereotype in the middle ages. I hear occasional anecdotal reports it still happens, but I have no idea how widespread or tolerated it is.
Actually, it seems to depend on the sect.
Catholicism and most flavours of Protestantism seem to require celibacy in the clergy (in the priesthood, anyways), but the Russian Orthodox doesn’t. Not sure about the Greek Orthodox or Coptic churches.
In regards to the Orthodox Church, I have been told that only those of Bishop (IIRC) and higher are expected to be celibate. Lower ranking clergy are expected to marry and provide a good role model for the community. However, if they have aspirations to rise to the top of the ranks, they do not marry because to do so would make them ineligible.
I have not really researched this myself, this is just what I remember from a few off-hand remarks from a college professor last semester.
Whoa, there – most flavors of Protestantism do NOT require clerical ceibacy, and the Anglican/Episcopalian priesthood does not either. Many Orthodox churches, IIRC, offer you the alternative of two “career tracks”, one celibate, one non-celibate, with the proviso that if you take the celibate one you can’t switch back.
Although it is commonly interpreted from the writings of Paul that celibacy was the preferred practice for the ordained, it only became mandatory for the priesthood of the RCC well into the Middle Ages, in great measure because Parish pastors and Bishops were getting into the habit of having the office and the church properties be inherited within the family. Later on, with the expansion of the church outside of Europe, it was a valuable way of ensuring that your clergy could be sent to far corners of the world (or into the bad part of town) w/o having to keep a family housed and fed back at home.
It is a rule that IS subject to some future Pope opening things up – and exceptions have been made for married clergymen from another church who convert and seek ordination priests.
As to what they are supposed to do, they are supposed to pray a lot and channel their energies towards the Lord’s work, and He will give them strength to overcome temptation… or to get back on the wagon if they fall off. And if the priest/monk/nun just can’t take it, he/she CAN seek counselling and even QUIT – of course this presumes that the priest/monk/nun is a person of good character whose impulses and drives are not pathologically twisted and will therefore seek an honorable way out of a bad situation, rather than to take advantage of it.
This isn’t really an answer to your question, but there are married Catholic priests out there. If an Episcopalian priest gets married, then decides to convert to Catholicism, he can still be a priest. If his wife dies, he can’t remarry, though.
Even more than the sexual needs of any human being, I wonder how celebate priests deal with desire for human affection. My parents used to have our parish priest over sometimes, and it always seemed a little sad when he left for an empty house. It must be very lonely.
most orthodox priests are married men. if something happens to the marriage, death, divorce, etc., the choice then is celibate clergy, monk, etc., or leave the clergy.
in the case of bishops and others, they are taken from the ranks of monks or widowed priests. i remember a bishop who had grandchildren. his wife had passed, his kids were grown, he went into the monestary; ended up a bishop.
another bishop i know of waited until his 50’s to go to monestary and become a priest. he figured he needed to give himself every chance to find someone, after 50 he gave up on that idea.
since one is not to have sex outside of marriage, i would imagine non married clergy would deal with things the same way non married, non clergy types.
speaking as a woman who had a 12 year relationship with a catholic priest, i can tell you that married priests and priests in long term relationships are more common than you might think.
if i had to come up with some sort of percentage, i would say that about 10% would be a fair estimate.
rocking chair’s already answered the first question from the Orthodox POV, so…
Among Orthodox, I would say not common at all. All celibate clergy are expected to be monks, and it is fairly rare to see a hieromonk or hierodeacon serving a parish church. The vast majority of parish clergy are married.
As for bishops, they are supposed to be selected from the more advanced monks in monasteries; it is especially common for igumens or archimandrites (equivalent of superiors or abbots) to be made bishops. By the time they would be seriously considered for consecration, they would have many years of monasticism under their belt, and presumably have already overcome the temptations of the flesh, or at least are making significant progress. Furthermore, they also tend to be towards the older end of the spectrum, and so lean more towards elderly wisdom than youthful vigour and excitability.
Yarr. Russian Orthodoxy == Greek Orthodoxy == Eastern Orthodoxy. All one! The Copts, Syrian Jacobites, Armenians, Ethiopians, et al. aren’t part of the Eastern Orthodox communion, but nevertheless hold to the same discipline in this matter as the Orthodox do.
Summary of Clerical Celibacy Rules:
All churches expect chastity from their clergy – i.e., either be sexually active only within a marital relationship, or be celibate.
Most Protestant churches: One rank, Pastor, may marry, before or after ordination.
Methodists: Two ranks, Deacon and Elder. “Bishops” are Elders named as General Superintendents of the church. All may marry, before or after ordination.
Anglicans: Three ranks: Deacon, Priest, Bishop. All may marry, before or after ordination, unless part of a religious order (rare) which is vowed to celibacy.
Orthodox: See rocking chair and ybeayf’s posts. Three ranks, as with Anglicans. Deacons and Priests may marry before ordination unless part of a religious order (common). Bishops are chosen from senior members of religious orders and are celibate. (I believe the “Oriental Orthodox” – the five non-Chalcedonian churches which ybeayf mentioned as “otherwise” – have exactly the same rule.)
Catholicism: Broken into Roman Rite (overwhelmingly the largest part) and Eastern Rites.
–Roman Rite: Deacons may marry before ordination. Candidates for the priesthood may not marry, by Church Law (not doctrine) unless extraordinarily dispensed by the Vatican. Married clergy converting to Catholicism may be ordained and remain married. Priests wishing to marry are laicized, i.e., remain priests but are deemed laymen, and may not function as priests except in emergency situations.
–Eastern Rites: Same standards as for Orthodox.
Note that Orthodox and Eastern Catholic deacons and priests and Catholic deacons may not marry. Married men may become clergy, but single or widowed clergy may not become married. Protestants and Anglicans do not have this rule.
Extremely small nitpick…
Orthodoxy doesn’t have religious orders. Priests are priests, and monks are monks, but there are no orders of priests or monks.
Thank you so very much for the responses! They have been very enlightening.
Does anyone else have more knowledge how celibate clergymen deal with their chastity? I mean, it must be so hard: a part of me refuses to believe that anyone can be that faithful and refrain from any sexual activity; that part believes many supposedly-celibate clergymen are sexually active but extremely discretely so. How wrong am I?
WRS
Why? I didn’t marry until I was 33 and I was strictly celibate throughout that time. I’m not saying it was always easy, but it is hardly an insurmountable problem.
I’m sure that there are “celibate” priests who are carrying on affairs, but it is probably not any overwhelming number. CantUseMyRealName’s 10% figure could be high or could be low, but it is probably closer to reality than an assumption that 30% or 50% of priests (or more) are getting laid.
I don’t think celibacy would be that hard. This touches on an issue I don’t talk about much.
Throughout my life I’ve never felt like I was an extremely “sexual” person. I guess in that sex wasn’t like “the greatest thing in the world to me.” I never felt like I had to be constantly pursuing sex like most of my male friends were. I mean, do I like it? Yes. But I also didn’t feel it had to be part of my life. If I went on a dry spell for months it was no big deal, I wouldn’t even really notice it.
I’ve talked about it with friends before and most of them actually accused me of possibly being gay. I have nothing instantly against that, but the problem is I’d think if I was gay I would at least find men sexually attractive and I really don’t. I’ve always fantasized about women and very specifically women.
Since I don’t think I’m gay I don’t know what it is, I guess i’m just have a “low” sex drive in comparison to other men.
Probably it’s better this way, because if I strike out it doesn’t matter to me as much as it seems like it does to others (I know some guys who have a nearly obsessive desire to get sex on a weekly basis or better.)
So anyways, I think for the right person celibacy in the priesthood wouldn’t be that hard at all.
Nitpick: Eastern Rite Catholic Priests ordained in the USA are subject to the same rules of celibacy as Roman rite priests.
Speaking as someone who hasn’t had sex in over ten years, by choice, some of us just aren’t as sexually driven as others, and I would suspect that most celibate clergy tend to be on the lower end of the sex drive scale.
This, of course, touches on the subject of many long and annoying threads all across this board… folks, believe it or not, celibacy is possible. If you have the true calling and temperament for it, it is perfectly possible to forego sex w/o exploding, spontaneously combusting, being driven mad, growing a second head, etc. And you CAN have human affection and intimacy in a non-sexual context.
It absolutely is not for everyone, though, but nobody said it was.