Here are the rules:
[ol]
[li]You arrive in Mr. Bush’s body on the morning of 9/11, one minute after he is informed of the attacks. In other words, you can’t change THAT, but from that moment forward the choices you make are the ones that will count.[/li]
[li]Like Sam in QL, you will be surrounded by the “aura” of the person you’re leaping into – in this case, former president Bush – for the duration of the leap. You will be perceived by all around you as being him.[/li]
[li]Unlike Sam, you will not have an Al. That is, you will not be getting a feed from your origin point in the space-time continuum as to how your actions are changing history.[/li]
[li]Also unlike Sam, your brain will NOT be swiss-cheesed by the Quantum Leap process. You have access to all your current memories about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the financial meltdown, the elections since then, and so forth. Of course, the longer you are in the role, the less useful that knowledge will be, because you will, of course, be changing things.[/li]
[li]You have access to Mr. Bush’s memories, the better to fool your wife & advisors. However, you may also choose 1 --ONE – other person to leap back with you and be either Cheney or Mrs. Bush.[/li]
[li]You may leap out of Mr. Bush and back to your own proper place in history, at exactly the moment you left, whenever you wish, so long as that moment is on or before January 20 of this year. But you don’t get any do-overs. Once you come back, you’re staying back.[/li][/ol]
More seriously, stand up, say to the kids, “I’m afraid there’s a problem that I need to deal with. It’s been great seeing you all, and keep on reading.” Shake hands with the teacher, saying, “Sorry about this, but it’s emergency.” Then go back to the secret service to get further information.
How about…instead of killing him, choose someone you know to take over his body and make an explicit sex tape with Bush/Cheney and broadcast it over the net live. I think that should sufficiently screw his chances for re-election.
I love the murder and homosexual sex tape answers so far.
As for my answer, I’d use my presidential powers to swiftly pursue the groups the credible intelligence shows were behind the attack. This would likely mean quickly moving special forces into Afghanistan and possibly cutting ties with Saudi Arabia - which would probably piss off Daddy to no end, but I can leap out before some old contacts in the CIA come calling. I’d have a politically-savvy buddy come along as Cheney so I wouldn’t have to be looking over my shoulder.
The problem with that is that without Al, I don’t know what I’m back in time to change, so I’ll be trying to make these major changes, when really, I’m just supposed to bring the romance back in the life of my Secret Service Agent so his wife doesn’t divorce him.
Tell the teacher, “I’m sorry there is something I have to deal with, I will reschedule this event.” The teacher would say,“of course Mr. President, who wouldn’t understand the Presdient of the United States is called away on an important matter.”
President to class: “bye kids, eat your vegetables, listen to your teachers, tell your parents to watch Arrested Development on Fox and keep the ratings up.”
Then I would fly straight to Washington, DC and address America from the Oval Office. I would say that we will find out who did this and punish them and then we will take steps to make sure it never happens again. I know it is a scary time, but the only people who can undermine our way of life and our values is us.
This. But then go on national TV immediately (NOT from an “undisclosed location” but from the Oval Office) and say something to the effect of:
"What has just occurred is one of the most heinous crimes in our history. We as a nation will spare no effort to track down and bring to justice the perpetrators and all those who knowingly supported them. Any nations who are willing to join us in this effort are extremely welcome.
We know that these people are not representative of the Muslim world or even of a significant part of it. There is to be no ill-feeling or retribution on the innocent of any religious or political persuasion. We know that all decent and civilised people across the world will be sickened and revulsed by the use of indiscriminate slaughter of innocents to pursue any cause, no matter what.
I promise the American people that we will root out and destroy these evil criminals, no matter where they dwell, by all means available to us consistent with the maintenance of a civilised society. But we will not allow it to draw us down to their level, despite that evidently being part of their aim. We will not allow ourselves to become the caricature of an overconfident superpower that they already believe us to be. We will not allow ourselves to descend into the underworld but will at all times uphold the tenants of the Geneva Convention and all other international agreements that we have voluntarily entered into - we are better than they are and we will stay that way, regardless of the consequences and regardless of the temptation to lower ourselves to their sickening level of unfeeling inhumanity.
After World War Two we did not just execute out of hand the war criminals of Nazi Germany and militarist Japan, we put them on trial to face evidence and the consequent justice. This handful of international criminals will be accorded the same courtesy as those and any other criminals, whether war, terrorist or domestic, no matter how vile their crime; that is how we do things here.
This of all times is a time to show why peoples of nations still languishing under the yoke of any dictator or theocratic regime should continue to aspire to self determination, to the rule of law and to the kind of personal and legal freedom that all too few in this world yet enjoy. We are here to aid you by all means consistent with international law. Just call."
Tell the person who told me to quickly have the guy with the TV camera to stop filming.
Get up and get going (screw the kids and teacher)
Quantum Leap one of my best friends into Dick Cheney and put together a comprehensive plan to thwart future attempts, as well as control the mass hysteria
I would leave sooner. My resulting actions would put a LOT more boots on the ground going after Bin Laden. And Saudi Arabia’s collective neck would be on the chopping block.
Also, I would tap into America’s yearning to be asked to contribute. People want to make sacrifices and to help, I would make sure there were outlets for that. I would also use it as a good time to talk about the role our reliance on foreign oil has on our public policy and maybe it is time for us to change our driving habits.
… most of the above, and add to the speech something along the lines of “and we know that guarding against future attacks does not require sacrificing our liberties – including privacy – that we have fought so hard to gain. The wound of September 11 is fresh, and we must do what we can to support the friends and families of those killed during the attacks and response, and to make sure that such an event will not happen again.
But in our pain and grief we must also not lose sight of who we are as a nation. We must not insult the hundreds of thousands of Americans who died in wars big and small to make America the land of the free. We must keep to our principals of freedom and justice even in the face of such a crisis as we are dealing with today, or they are not moral principals at all.”
After that the immediate response was okay. Isolate Al Qaeda. Offer the Taliban a one-time offer to change sides and then invade Afghanistan to clear them out.
My big changes would come later. I’d make a big speech (maybe before the UN) saying how this tragedy needs to be addressed. We fixed the immediate problem by invading the terrorist bases in Afghanistan and now we have to go the the root problems that fed terrorism.
My new policy would have a few keypoints:
It would be American led but it would be an international effort not a unilateral one.
It would create a cadre of moderate Muslim clerics and a means to let them “de-program” Muslims who have been fed too much radical fundamentalist Islam. (Saudi Arabia used this idea and got decent results.)
I’d support secular education programs in the Third World. Letting children by educated by Imams is a bad idea. Letting children be educated by any religious authorities is probably a bad idea. Teachers should run the schools and clergy should run the temples.
I’d support programs that would create jobs in the Third World. People with a steady job are a lot less likely to want to join some terrorist group.
And yes, I know I have lost whatever bit of respect I had.