I really wish people would stop C’Ping my posts out of context.
Matt, if had read one line further, you would have seen this:
That there is a shared something–sensibility, culture, frame of reference–is undeniable, but what that something is, and if it can be categorized in such a general, catch-all phrase as “gay culture,” is an equine quadruped of quite a different hue.
What is gay culture? Quoting Bette Davis movies? Lipsyncing to Kylie Minogue when “Can’t Get You Out of my Head” comes on the radio? Buffing and shaving the torso for circuit parties? Going to bear gatherings?
You and I are both gay men, but I suspect that your gay culture and mine are very different, so how useful can the term “gay culture” be?
I think of gay culture as being more of a gathering of subcultures–club boys, leather men, bears, drag queens, gym bunnies, and so on–under one man-loving men umbrella, not unlike the Indian parable of the blind men and the elephant.
This should not be such a problematic concept. Like any culture, gay culture appears to be marvelously varied and nuanced. The sound bite “gay culture” appears to be stretched to the point of transparency. Or meaninglessness.
Jodi, I think the focus of our (limited) disagreement is this: if a bright line test is appropriate, but no perfect, or even good, bright line can be established, does that mean that the test should be abandoned?
Something like that would never work for the fact that I have a friend of mine that when I go to the club is always playing with my breasteses.
Married to his husband for 15 years and they just opened their on bar. But he at one time was a queen and loves the feel of womens breasteses.
I have also had a few of my queen friends come and feel me up and tell me that is what they want theirs to feel like.
Totally non sexual.
I would feel that I am part of the gay culture being raised in it.
Someone mentioned the FH which a friend of mine considers me the Goddess of them all.
When he decided to come out he felt safe with me since I make no issues over my mother.
I was the one to take him into the clubs and show him the different types of people out there.
Of course now his knowledge of gay men has surpassed me by leaps and bounds. Because he is in there (no pun intended).
Even though I grew up in that lifestyle when it comes to somethings I still feel like and outsider.
Even with my limited bi expierence.
Another point in reference.
My brother in law brought home a friend of his and this guy just happened to be gay. He introduced us and we hit it off famously.
Well, the next time said guy comes over he came in and said “Hey Mary!”
I giggled and my brother in law was embarassed and tried to explain to his friend that my name wasn’t Mary but Kricket and he made a mistake.
Three different people, three different levels of knowledge and submersion into the gay culture.
You guys should have been there it was funny as hell.
Oh, another point I wanted to bring up is about the womens shelters.
I understand that most of these women have a fear of men because of what torment they may have gone through, but how many battered mens shelters are there?
It happens to men also and as far as I know there aren’t any shelters for men.
I know that type of abuse is less likely to be reported but don’t they deserve the same options?
I don’t think womens’ shelters. men’s shelters, or domestic abuse are germane to this discussion. Exclusion from gay clubs isn’t even in the same universe as domestic abuse.