[Bolding above was mine.] There are many ways to contract HIV without ever having any kind of sex. Jokes (I hope you are joking) about toilet seats and psychological hangups really aren’t helpful to persons who are wondering and/or scared about their status.
True, but pulling out is NOT a safe or smart way to avoid getting or receiving the virus. You wouldn’t want to count on that, or think you are “safer” by doing so.
Hasn’t this all been discussed here? Just 1-2 days ago?
No, it’s more of a what if/let’s make sure thing.
Re: this being discussed, my post was here first. So nyah. 
Many? I can think of about 4 and one of them involves having recently been in the womb.
Blood, semen, breast milk, wombyness. I count 4 also.
That’s not what I meant by ways" to get it.
“Blood, semen, breast milk” are fluids that carry the virus, not a “way” or action that you can do that might cause you to catch HIV. E.g., blood: you can get the virus through a blood transfusion or by sticking yourself with a hypo that contains infected blood or by working as an EMT and treating someone who is positive and who bleeds on your cut hand.
That was the point of my response to Excalibre - he said that since the OP had only had the one sex partner (the one the OP was worried about infecting) that he could not possibly have the virus. That is patently untrue. There are many other “ways” to exchange bodily fluids without having sex.
I have a question:
It is my understanding that it takes up to 6 months after contracting the virus for it to be detected. What happens if you donate blood in your second month of having contracted HIV? Will the virus be visible? Will it still be there after storage? Does it pose a threat?
Can the virus go undetected?
It is my understanding, at least in the UK, that if you have ever had any sexualy contact (penetration, oral) with another man (that is male homosexual) with or without a condom, you cannot donate blood at all. Same as if you have had sex with prostitutes, or non-prescription intravenious drug users. And I believe they also prevent donations from anyone who has had sex with anyone who has had sex with anyone in the catagories above (sorry for the confusion) for a year, presumably to cater for the incubation period.
Also I just have to agree with some other users, easy e and cynicalgabe, that the blood service should NEVER be used for HIV testing. At any rate, its no more effort to get tested, in the UK it is free anyway.
Good thing you got the HIV test. Get another in six months. However, I’d like to point out that what you did in your spoiler renders you banned from blood donation for the rest of your life under current FDA standards. Any man who has had any sexual contact with another man, even once, any time since 1977 is forbidden to donate blood. As backward and ignorant as I think the standard is, that’s how it currently stands.
If he has HIV, which as you’ve pointed out, is not impossible, he’s not doing anything to protect his boyfriend. If not (as, you must admit, is the only significant possibility), his precautions are needless. Either way, it’s gotta make the sex a lot less fun. Irrational rules to make sex less fun? Religion and/or crazy psychological hangups are usually behind that sort of thing.
Look, I support safer sex, and I think it’s vitally important that HIV be dealt with properly. I am well aware that it is quite common among gay men in Western nations, and that new infection rates are rising again (being young and gay, this is something I have to know about.) But I’m also pragmatic. Which means that I hate the black-and-white messages being pushed by many safer sex advocates. Some populations are at a higher risk, and some are at a lower risk. Some behaviors are high risk, and some are low risk. To lump them all together and pretend that the risk that chaoticdonkey is taking by coming in his boyfriend’s mouth is even significant, much less comparable to (and thus deserving of the sorts of precautions) taken by people barebacking anonymously is ridiculous and unhelpful.
These messages we keep hearing have the terrible effect of making it seem like celibacy is the only option to avoid HIV. The one-in-a-billion (probably less) chance that chaoticdonkey is taking if he comes in his boyfriend’s mouth is not a legitimate thing to fear. When we get told over and over not to have sex unless we’re wrapped in bubble wrap and in separate rooms, the message stops working. Why do you think infection rates are rising? Studies have shown that there’s a sort of fatigue developing - people are tired of being told they’re going to die. Telling folks that ALL SEX IS EVIL AND DANGEROUS AND WILL KILL YOU leads to a hopelessness that makes adequate safety measures even less likely.
Besides knowing some about the risk of HIV infection, I’m also aware of the psychological hangups that a lot of queer people have around sex, and that’s what this looks like to me. There is no justification for this fear and that makes me wonder if the OP’s actions are motivated by something else. Compounding that with ALL SEX IS EVIL AND DANGEROUS AND WILL KILL YOU is not helping; many people think that the prominence of crystal meth addiction (and the subsequent health problems, not least of which the risks of unsafer sex) is related to the shame and fear related to being gay. It’s not hard to imagine that the safer sex messages commonly being heard are helping those problems along.
I understand that this isn’t the goal of the safer sex movement, but there are a lot of unrealistic beliefs about the risks of sex held by advocates. I think a lot more could be done by talking to the public as if we were adults; people take risks continuously, in every aspect of their lives and being given the information needed to choose intelligently is a good thing.
Sorry, missbunny I know this rant is a little bit out of proportion to the situation at hand, and I know you mean well and most of this is not really applicable to what you just said. I just have a lot of strong feelings about this issue, and I think a rational discussion of risky behavior is long, long overdue. There’s a huge problem in the gay community nowadays - there’s no excuse for new infections to be rising, and new steps have to be taken. The old messages aren’t working (and likely never worked - AIDS has been around for a generation, and young gay people today no longer know people who died of it, while during the 80s everyone lost friends to it.) Like I said, I’m a pragmatist, and I think we should be spreading realistic messages promoting reasonable behavior, not demanding perfect behavior. Again, please don’t think I mean to say you’ve been pushing the anti-sex agenda; it’s just something I really worry about.
I am definitely not pushing an anti-sex agenda! I am very very pro sex among consenting adults.
I simply disagreed with your statement that he could not possibly have the virus because he had never had sex, and I didn’t think telling someone who is concerned about his status, testing, and methods of transmission that he “might have a hangup” if he’s so worried about it. He might have major gigantic hangups, but in my opinion this thread wasn’t the thread in which to point that out.
I agree that the chances that he has HIV and the further chances that he transmitted it are very small. I just don’t think that making someone in any way feel that he might be over-reacting - if that’s going to make him say, Oh screw this whole testing business, I don’t need it - is a good idea.
And the results…?
I don’t have HIV or syphillis! 
Congrats. Always good to be healthy.
Great!
Now go have sex. 
Friday. Have to wait until Friday.
What about your chlamydia, hepatitis B, herpes, and gonorrhea checks?
:eek:
He’s still studying for those tests.
Donate bone marrow. I got checked for HIV, Hep B, Syphilis…
I just wish a had a certificate for them, to show to all of my friends.
Why, do your friends suspect you of being a venereal disease hotspot? :eek:
Joking aside, well done for donating bone marrow, I understand it’s a very long process of checking suitability etc, and not something to do lightly.