I donno, I suppose it could. It was never an issue with mine. She just has better taste than that kind of crap, so it was just an off-the-top of my head suggestion.
I had occasion to consider this earlier in the week. The Princess (age 5) was going to participate in a school assembly and needed a new outfit. Her only requirement: “I have to wear a dress!” So off we went to Mervyn’s, where she spent a good half-hour trying on half the size 6 dresses in the store and striking poses in the mirror. We finally settled on a one-piece “skort”-and-top (I don’t know how else to describe it) outfit, black with gold trim. It looked so cute on her, and wasn’t too short. I did give in on the green halter-top dress she also wanted, on the condition she wear shorts underneath because she doesn’t always remember to sit properly yet. Mostly I try to buy her shorts and pants, as well as non-midriff-baring tops. Mervyn’s and Target are good for modest yet girlish clothes, at least around here. Wal-mart, not so much. The thing is, you have to know what to look for. I’ve found there are usually more acceptable choices next to the glittery “So many boys, so little time” T-shirts.
As far as the Bratz dolls, I try to avoid them as much as possible, and have tried to convince relatives not to buy them for her, but to no avail. Not a month goes by that either grandma or one of the aunts doesn’t come by with a Bratz or (oddly, even sluttier) Bratz Baby doll. She gets excited over the doll for a couple of days, but soon it ends up in a plastic bin with the rest of the dolls. You’d think they’d have learned their lesson by now. :rolleyes:
Both sides of my family I think will respect our wishes on Bratz. It is specifically Bratz that I am opposed to. I have a lot more of a problem with commercialization than I do with dressing in revealing clothes. I don’t even care if she looks proper, if she wants to go to class in a pajama top and a tutu that’s fine by me. It’s the ‘stupid spoiled whore’ attitude that I can’t stand. A few of my friends who have little girls that she will more than likely grow up around dress a bit too sexily for my tastes, they are 9 and 4. However, their attitude isn’t stupid spoiled whorish, so it’s not as big of a deal. It really is the values of Bratz that are the big deal, and not just the sexy clothes. I think it is basically kiddie porn. As it goes she can dress like a slut when she’s 18, I don’t care. She can get a green mohawk when she’s 8 if she wants, that doesn’t bother me either, I was a goth kid, let her get her painted mime phase out when she’s young.
I think Bratz as a whole package is reprehensible. It’s the self-disrespect aspect, and disrespect for others that I do not like, more than the clothing. It’s the ugly attitude, the commodification of self aspect that they are pushing.
Honestly, it isn’t the family you should be worried about (or if you do, you have bigger problems keeping your family around your kid than just Bratz dolls). It is by the time she is the age for this sort of thing, she’ll be the age for having school birthday parties, and you have a lot less control over what she receives there than you do with your relatives. Then your choices are tell the other parents “no Bratz” (and someone will bring them - or their 2014 counterpart - anyway), try to explain to your kid that if she gets Bratz they will be returned to the store or given away (you can offer to trade them for something cooler), or accept the Bratz and use it as a teaching moment (then dispose of them in a week when they’ve hit the bottom of the toybox if you wish). This will depend on you - and probably also the personality of your daughter - with mine this was a battle I wasn’t willing to fight - if they came for her birthday she graciously accepted them - and got to play with them. She understands Mom doesn’t strictly approve - which we’ve decided is enough.
Cardboard boxes can be fun for a while, but this makes me sad. 
Is a bare midriff slutty, in and of itself, though? Is pink and glitter (barring suggestive slogans) slutty? I was a kid in the seventies, and the prevailing attitude was that as long as you “didn’t have anything to show,” you could show as much skin as you liked. When I was ten, I wore a tube top and short shorts to a family picnic, and no one batted an eyelash. They sure would have if I’d worn that two years later, but that’s when I started covering up.
Bare midriffs used to be a cute-kid thing. So did pink and glitter, for the fairy-princess aspect; older girls would actually have turned up their nose. Why can’t they still be for kids? How did we get into “My three-year-old daughter can’t show her bellybutton!” when bellybuttons used to be seen as the cutest thing evah? Just because it’s inappropriate on a fully-developed young woman doesn’t mean the original target market can’t reclaim it.
I just wanted to chime in and say that the “Because I said so, that’s why” school of parenting is so frustrating and irritating to kids, and is in fact a really lazy approach. Be authoritative, not authoritarian - explain to the kids (in an age-appropriate manner) why the rule exists and they’ll appreciate it and be willing to follow it.
I grew up with a “because I say so” ex-military father and it was the most frustrating thing for both of us for years because I was smart enough and strong-willed enough to just not accept that sort of governance. When we finally worked out a nice, authoritative set up - “The reason I won’t let you do that is ____, because _____ and ____,” we established mutual respect and I willfully followed the rules even when I knew I could get away with breaking them.
I would say for two reasons, Rilchiam. First, since the 70’s our society (the commerical part of it, anyway) has been encouraging children to grow up much sooner and pushing them to exhibit sexual behavior, even where there may not be any understanding of the real meaning of it. We now see little children much more sexually than we used to, so that clothing that was considered perfectly innocent a generation or two ago is now seen as provocative, because the message has changed. (My teacher SIL was telling me last night about all the 6-yo boys she’s taught who had sexually harassed the girls; trying to put their hands down their panties, coming up behind them and doing pelvic thrusts on them, all sorts of behaviors that make it clear that they have seen a lot of sexual media and aren’t doing well with it. This came up because of a friend of mine whose 6-yo daughter has been having similar problems with a boy in her class. We’re not talking zero-tolerance reactions to a kiss on the cheek here, but young kids who have seen porn and are imitating it on the playground.)
Secondly, I think it also has something to do with the style of the clothes. A cute little sundress that really looks like an item for a toddler, on an actual toddler, doesn’t bother me. But something directly based on a teen style, that is provocative on a 15-yo, bothers me on a little girl because it seems to me that it’s inviting similar reactions to a 4-yo. I guess that’s connected to the first thing, really. And I also just object to the fact that it’s hard to find tough, comfortable play clothes for a little girl; glittery velvet bellbottoms don’t seem to me to be appropriate for the playground. I want my daughters to be running around getting dirty and hanging upside down from the bars and stuff.
Breed carefully. I have yet to meet a very bright, untraumatized girl of any age who idealized sluttishness.
mswas, it sounds like your specific concerns could be handled well by just positioning Bratz as in poor taste. Maybe get your daughter involved in collecting another style of doll, like American Girl. Use your *madd parenting skillz * to get her to think it was her own idea, though.
One thing I have done without fail throughout parenthood (mine are now 9 and 11) is that we have never, ever, bought them a treat while they were with us in the store. So they never grew to equate trips to the store with “something for me”. Going to the store is for shopping. I might take them to the toy store to have a look, then go back and shop by myself. The beauty of this is I have never had a whiny, tantrum meltdown in a store of the “I WANT IT NOW DADDY” (see Veruca Salt) sort.
My daughter was into “Groovy Girls” for a while, which is not nearly as tarty and obnoxious as Bratz or Barbie. She loves crafts and creating and making things, and we encourage this alot. Her gifts tend to be books, music and art oriented, or animal sorts of things. When they were younger there were lots of blocks and Playmobil stuff, but living in Europe at that time skewed that way.
She is leaning towards being a scientist or doctor when she grows up, or something in marketing. I find that an interesting spread.
Take boxing lessons.
Buy a baseball bat.
Because…boys are nasty.
And, they only got one thing on their minds.
Start training now; some of those High School boys are gorillas, shaved.
When you have kids who have mastered the art of procrastination by getting you to explain “why” constantly, come back and tell me how frustrating “because I said so” is to them.
Actual conversation with a six year old running ten minutes late because we just had the same conversation about brushing teeth, combing hair, and getting dressed:
Get on your coat quick, we are running late, time to go to school.
Why do I have to wear a coat?
Because its 20 degrees outside and you’ll get cold.
No I won’t, I’ll be fine.
OK, because its 20 degrees out and I don’t want you to get frostbite.
What is frostbite?
Frost bite is like a burn from the cold. We are late, get your coat on.
But how does cold burn?
I DON’T KNOW, can we look it up when we get home? We are late, put your coat on.
Why do I have to wear a coat?
Authoritative parenting is a cool concept - but only works so far - either extreme will not be productive.
My method for the ‘whys’ --our rule is that I am happy to explain why and I always will, but only after the kid starts obeying the request. It’s mostly for safety; I want them to habitually obey me promptly so that they won’t get run over when I tell them to ‘come here now!’ But it also saves a lot of arguing time.
Dangerosa With things that you have explained multiple times before, what about saying, “You know why.” as opposed to “Because I said so.” I hated “Because I said so.”, my parents version was, “Because I’m the adult and you’re the kid.”, which also translated to temper tantrums. They were allowed to act like children because they were adults but I had to act like an adult because I was the kid.
Harriet the Spry My wife was into American Girls when she was a kid. I am sort of opposed to them. I am kind of against the whole “Collect the whole set.” style of consumerism. I do realize that she will get my wife’s American Girls doll and she might end up having those sorts of things. They are certainly better than bratz.
As far as bare midriffs go. That is not my problem. What I am concerned about is that Bratz glamorizes being a mean little spoiled whore.
Repetition helps, we’ve said “no” to Bratz from day one and now our five-going-on-six year-old daughter doesn’t even bother asking.
We use the “age appropriate” line all the time, WhyNot.
It doesn’t matter which kind of dolls they get, Bratz, Barbie whatever. They all wind up naked in a day anyway.
That’s ok, as long as their aesthetic isn’t ‘whore’ to begin with. I’ll take her to hippy festivals where people run around naked.
I think they are done with their naked phase (although I am still trying to get the little one to wait until she gets in the bathroom before she starts dropping her drawers). Only the dolls go naked. Both of them (5 and 7) want to wear dresses every day.
Glad that works for you, for us, it leads us into another round of whys. My children are too smart for that technique to be effective. If they can procrastinate with endless questions, they will. Eventually you need to shut it down.
Now that they can read and google “look it up when we come home, we are leaving now” works.