Isn’t getting your doctorate/starting a company/joining the peace corp sort of the liberal ‘Dynamic Woman’ modern equivalent of marrying a prince? Would it be ok if they went travelling around Asia or even the US for a couple of years?
My wife and I were talking about our plans to homeschool our daughter last night, and our goal is simply to give her as broad a foundation as possible by the time she is 18 so that she is not limited by a lack of prerequisites when she goes to specialize later on in life, or even if she doesn’t specialize at all she’ll have a better education than many college graduates. Other than that I don’t have any particular ideas as to what would make for a successful story when she grows up. It’s sort of like when people ask me who I think she looks more like. I just can’t answer that.
Instead of any particular dream of mine for my daughters, insert “be self-sufficient in a manner of your own choosing” in the “get your doctorate/start a company” space.
In other words, marrying the guy with the palace isn’t the only way to escape the slavery your step-family may inflict on you.
For little girls its marry the prince. Little boys its “I’m going to be a professional ballplayer.” Let’s have some realistic goals for self-sufficiency.
(And I agree, jammies to daycare are not a big deal for a toddler - however, one of my coworkers was telling me about training in a crop of high school graduates - she had to explain to them that they were expected to come to work in something OTHER than their jammies. Sometime between two and eighteen, you need to learn that jammies aren’t appropriate dress - apparently, some parents have skipped that choosing never to have that battle with their kids. And jammies to daycare are a big deal if daycare says “when you are a preschooler, you don’t wear jammies to school unless its PJ and movie day.”)
Sorry, I missed this the first time around. When *will *she be old enough to dress like a whore, Daddy?
I find a good way to get out of the procrastinating “Why” questions is to say, “I’d love to explain my reasons to you…in the car. Let’s go.” And then refuse to answer anything else until we’re in the car.
And, yes, once, just once, I left the kid staring out the front door while I drove off. Scared the piss out of him - I think he was about 7. I called a neighbor from a pay phone down the block to let her know and she watched the door from her window to make sure he didn’t leave, and I was back 10 minutes later - probably the longest 10 minutes of his life. I got a Slurpee while I was gone, too, and only rubbed it in a little that if he had been with me, he could have gotten a Slurpee, too. He didn’t delay after that - he knew when I said, “right now or I’m leaving without you” I meant it. I don’t make idle threats. Nothing drives me batty like sitting at the mall/bookstore/restaurant/grocery store and listening to half an hour of “If you don’t behave, we’re leaving right now! Right now, do you hear me? You don’t want to leave, do you? Stop that or we’re leaving!” If you make a threat, you have to follow through.
Well, the thing is, when they’re at the ballplayer stage, it is usually accepted to indulge them somewhat, let them play ball and have fun. Of course, once they hit the “make it big time with my garage band” stage, then the whip must come down
It’s also quite possible to say, “We don’t wear jammies to school, but when you’re at home you get to pick.” Or “These are the kinds of clothes we wear to school. Which ones of these do you like?” That’s kind of a parent’s job, to set the limits. Most kids aren’t scarred forever by limits.
“No, you can’t dress like that, it’s not a message we want to send,” worked with my girls. There was a little more explanation than that as appropriate. And limits loosen up as they get older. Except for a couple of basics, I haven’t told either of them how to dress since junior high. And only somewhat then.
It’s also reasonable to say, “I’m not going to let you dress like anyone who pluralizes with a “Z”. You will learn to use correct grammar, young lady, that’s what an “S” is for!”
If you’re doing your job properly, she will point out that you ended your sentence with a preposition.
