I’m going to start seeing a counselor or therapist soon. There is an issue that I’m afraid may cause problems for me later.
I was sexually abused as a child. Only on a few occasions over the course of a couple of weeks.
Undoubtedly this will come up in therapy. The problem is that my wife babysits kids at our home, and when I come home from work each day one or two are still there. I just make a coffee and get out of the way. I don’t have sexual desires towards children and I have never done any harm to a child. But I’m afraid that when my therapist and I get to my abuse, he or she will call the authorities to make sure I’m not around kids, because sexual abuse victims aren’t supposed to be around kids. My wife and I need her income though.
Am I running a risk here, or does doctor-patient privilege protect me here.
Wow. That is actually an entirely new version of victim-blaming bullshit I’ve never heard before.
Who told you that, and in what context?
Unless you are CURRENTLY ACTING in a way that endangers yourself or another person (please note those words are important: “current” as in right now. “acting” as in not your past or even how you feel inside, but specifically the things you ARE DOING) then the therapist has no duty to inform anyone about anything you say. Edited to add: they also should have a privacy statement that they give you that explains all of that, and explains how they act to keep your information private to you.
Good grief. That’s a horrible thing to say to someone.
I never heard of this. Does that mean that someone, through, obviously no fault of their own, that was abused as a child cannot have or raise children of their own? That makes no sense.
No, it’s absolute bullshit – I’d like to know where the OP heard this. Many people here on the boards were abused as kids and now have kids, and have never said anything like this.
There are a lot of misconceptions about mandatory reporting laws, the laws that require certain professionals to report child abuse. They vary by state, but generally require that the reporter make a report if they have “reasonable suspicion” that a child is being abused or neglected. Unfortunately, that is a vague and subjective standard. Could someone be so misguided as to think that the mere fact that someone was abused as a child should arouse reasonable suspicion that that person is now abusing children himself? Theoretically, I suppose, but no therapist worth his or her salt is going to think that.
Also, keep in mind that the purpose of such laws is not necessarily to prosecute abusers, but to protect children, and thus the mandatory reporting is to Child Protective Services, not law enforcement. And if someone calls CPS to make a report and says “yes, hello, I’m calling to report a home where I suspect children are being abused. You see, an adult who lives there told me that he was abused as a child,” I’m pretty sure their response is going to be “uh, OK, thanks for the tip. We’ll, uh, do our due diligence. Have a nice day. click What a weirdo!”
I believe the nugget of fact at the root of this misinformation is:
But that correlation is so slight & questionable that to extend it to a prohibition on being around children at all is wildly inappropriate. As any professional therapist should well know.
I was sexually abused as a child and have had 23 years of therapy (I’m 60 now). I’ve been a participant in two different therapy groups relating to CSA (childhood sexual abuse). I’ve participated in online groups of CSA survivors, too. I’ve never, ever, heard of a CSA survivor being challenged in any way regarding any exposure they have to children, in the context of their CSA survivor status.
That said, I have a certain sympathy for the OP’s fear. There was an ugly divorce a few years ago in our extended family, and Mrs. Napier and I have always had occasional contact with the daughter of that union, who was I think 3 at the time of the divorce. As sometimes happens in a divorce, people were looking far and wide for accusations to throw at one another. I did have a bit of paranoia about whether my CSA status (which might have been known to the divorcing couple) could get parlayed into some kind of accusation. Nothing came of it, but there’s a kind of perceived or imagined vulnerability there.
So, if I were the OP, I’d say definitely that the paranoia isn’t valid and shouldn’t get in the way of therapy, not in the slightest. But, yeah, I get you.
You are normal to be scared. But you are stonger for wanting to deal with the trauma you have survived. You aren’t alone, Go to therapy and look forward to the day when you feel good about yourself. You deserve it.
First as already said, this is not true. This background will not cause your therapist to think you are prone to abusing children. Second, the therapist will not make a report to police based only on an assessment of your psychological profile, only if you go in and make statements that indicate you intend to do harm to yourself or others. I am not in that profession; as **Arcite **says, laws vary.
Yes. It may just be nervousness about going to therapy that is making you worry about what might go wrong. This isn’t something that will go wrong. It is only if you express current thoughts of doing harm to yourself or someone else that they will act. As mentioned, they should explain this as part of the ground rules when you first go. And be open about what makes you nervous about therapy.
^If you express a desire to abuse children, or state that you’ve done so, confidentiality will also be breached. That’s very different from reporting an abuse history.
Look, I had my vicious ex-wife try to paint me as an abuser by telling our marriage counselor and anyone who would listen that I was abused as a child (true, violence, not sexual) and therefore I would be an abuser.
The counselor told her repeatedly that this was not true and she needed to stop repeating it if she had any hope for our marriage.
Suffering abuse as a child does NOT mean that you will go on to repeat that abuse. Anyone who tells you this is a toxic individual who is doing you harm and you should cut off all contact with that person.