Question for anti death ray people? Earth Invasion?

[carnivorousplant]

@Steve_MB

I’d splash water on them. I saw that in a movie once.

When water balloons are outlawed, only water balloons will have…Wait a minute…

[ElvisL1ves]

Play “Indian Love Call” over the PA system. Their heads will explode inside their helmets.

[Czarcasm]

I don’t mind if they probe my cows, but stealing my anus is just a bit too far!

[carnivorousplant]

@ElvisL1ves

Play “Indian Love Call” over the PA system. Their heads will explode inside their helmets.

Note to self: buy PA system and ear plugs.

[Yllaria]

@carnivorousplant

Note to self: buy PA system and ear plugs.

Oh. That reminds me. I have a bagpipe app on my phone. I’d need bigger speakers, though.

[andros]

@ElvisL1ves

Play “Indian Love Call” over the PA system. Their heads will explode inside their helmets.

“Puberty Love” will do in a pinch.

[carnivorousplant]

@Yllaria

Oh. That reminds me. I have a bagpipe app on my phone. I’d need bigger speakers, though.

Do you have a license for that bagpipe app? :dubious:

[Malleus_Incus_Stapes]

@snfaulkner

As for the anus probing, I don’t imagine it would be fun, but then what?

Then they find the ancient cosmic secrets you’ve hidden up there, and the multiverse is doomed.

…everyone keeps their ancient cosmic secrets stashed in their rectum, right?? It’s not just me? Hypothetically, I mean.

[andros]

No, I totally keep my ancient cosmic secrets stashed in your rectum.

[Frodo]

@Babale

I would pick up my phone and expect to hear:

Then I would send out a team of four rookies who couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn to deal with the threat.

If they want to probe cows they are probably the original XCOM’s (1993) sectoids, your rookies can win that battle with acceptable(3-4) losses (send eight to be sure).

[AngelSoft]

@jackdavinci

Hmm maybe try to deescalate with some calming phrases like “Klaatu barada nikto”.

I hear “bah weep grana weep ninny bon” is more effective and less vague in its interpretation among alien life forms.

[iiandyiiii]

@AngelSoft

I hear “bah weep grana weep ninny bon” is more effective and less vague in its interpretation among alien life forms.

I think there might be more than meets the eye to this possibility.

[Fugazi]

Idiots. They’re not going to probe your anus. They’re going to probe Uranus. So since now all you have to do is defend some cows, you don’t need a terrawatt death ray. A 1920’s style death ray will do.

[Ethilrist]

@AngelSoft

I hear “bah weep grana weep ninny bon” is more effective and less vague in its interpretation among alien life forms.

Well, sure, if you think that’s a good idea, but it’s not a very nice thing to say about your sister.

I’d say we just cough in their faces. We’ve all seen War of the Worlds, right?

Or, if they’re in clown costumes, punch them in the nose.

[Apollyon]

@carnivorousplant

Do you have a license for that bagpipe app? :dubious:

Not considered a weapon of war since 1996.
OK, more complicated than that, but for these purposes…

[Ambivalid]

@Snarky_Kong

Question: Lets say you’re at home and some alien comes flying to steal your cows and probe your anus. Yes, you can and should call the military (assuming your phone is working) but you need protection NOW.

What would you do since you don’t a terrawatt death ray?

Well I guess my gun is the next best option.

[elucidator]

Hey, Ztigork! Got another transmission we picked up from that weird-ass planet, Get this! They think we want to go there! I swear, I am not making this up!"

[digs]

@Snarky_Kong

Question… What would you do since you don’t [own] a terrawatt death ray?

You’re making quite the assumption there… about all of us.

A bit insulting, to be candid.
ETA: By the way, a terrawatt? Pffft! That might sound impressive to someone with a '20s style model, but things have progressed a titch since then…

[Scumpup]

@Snarky_Kong

Question: Lets say you’re at home and some alien comes flying to steal your cows and probe your anus. Yes, you can and should call the military (assuming your phone is working) but you need protection NOW.

What would you do since you don’t a terrawatt death ray?

I’d give him Czarcasm’s address along with assurances that, there, s/he could anal probe and cow rustle with absolutely no possibility of resistance.

[Isosleepy]

I will trade two of my cows for a deathray. With this deathray I will kill, kill, kill ‘till I’m knee-deep in alien guts. Then I will re-charge and repeat. The last two aliens I will employ as bouncers for the nightclub I will make their spaceship into. When I’m bored with being a nightclub owner, I will fire it up and visit their homeworld. Kill a bunch more aliens, and some of their cows. See how they like it. I will find out what landmarks carry deep emotional meaning for them, and destroy all those which are irreplacable. After that point, I’ll probably give diplomacy a chance. I mean if I have to come up with something quickly.