I think a big problem is that a lot of people are trying to come up with all kinds of different, complex theories for why some people become gay (the Good Uncle Theory in particular) when homosexuality could rather easily be filed away as a simple fluke, or series of minor flukes that predispose one to always having perfect hair and immaculate taste.
When you consider that all humans start as female, and that sex and sexual preferences are traits that appear later via some really complex, poorly understood mechanisms, you can see where the occasional glitch can come in. While homosexuality isn’t a concious choice, the correct combination of biological and social factors pertaining to one’s sex and sexual identity could come along and cause someone to be straight, gay, or bisexual for no real single reason. It’s kind of hard to label homosexuality as a purely genetic trait, when one considers how difficult of a trait it would be to pass on via reproduction.
Another thing to consider, is that unlike pretty much all other human traits, homosexuality and gender identity are the only ones that really can be flipped 180 degrees, and as such get undue focus. No one wonders or cares much about the various mechanisms that cause one’s nose to look a certain way, because so long as you have one, the variations don’t much matter. Sexuality on the other hand, is a more noticeable trait, since it can flip completely. It is a really simple shift, but the end result is something like the psychological equivalent of having your legs growing out of your chest. It gets a lot of focus, because you can actually pin down what is considered “normal,” and see how a homosexual differs.
This is in comparison to noses, or facial features, where there is no gold standard of normalcy.
It seems to me that the theories and explanations people put forth tend to focus too much on the social side, trying to come up with some social justification for homosexuals existing, instead of just accepting that homosexuals exist, just like brown haired people. Most of these theories tend to ignore the fact that we are immensely complex beings, and that we don’t even have a fundamental grasp of what makes us who we are.
Let’s go back to that Good Uncle Theory.
Couldn’t one say that post-menopausal women accomplish the same exact thing? She’s not caring for her own children, but has an emotional attachment to the grandkids.
Bonus points for having 50 % of the population showing this trait, as opposed to the 10% or so who are gay.
And it is a lot more dependable of a trait in expressing itself than Ugh’s flamboyant Uncle’s Bruce and Steve, always looking stylish in their expensive pelts, ever being born are.
Do I know why I am gay? Nope. It’s an interesting question, but I don’t expect us to ever actually truly answer it. I don’t much care that I am left handed either, I just accept it as any other personality trait. Same goes for my noticeable Adam’s apple. I always likened the diversity of people to the diversity of colors. Take 3 primary colors, and you can create a whole world of color and variation.
Some of us just get a little off in the mixing and come out a touch more lavender than the rest.