Question on receiving memorial acknowledgement cards

I am the representative of a non-profit. I have receieved a bunch of checks from different people, all on the same day, in memory of a deceased person.

You are the family member of the deceased. Part of my job is to send you an acknowledgement for each donation. I have filled out a card for each one.

Would you prefer I send each one in a separate envelope? Or do I put them all in the same envelope? It’s not a matter of cost or anything, it’s how to be respectful to the family. Would you prefer each card in an individual envelope, or will you think it’s silly to receive 10 envelopes all on the same day? If I send them all in one envelope will you think I am being insensitive?

I never know what to do with this. In the past I have always sent separate envelopes.

It’s a non-profit that in some way was important to either the deceased family member, or to those of us who decided where to have memorials sent. I’d think it was a waste of money (and kind of silly) to receive ten different envelopes. I’d want the organization to benefit as much as possible even if it’s just a few postage dollars.

I always sent them as a bundle and thanked the family as most often it was part of the deceased obituary or memorial announcement that “in lieu of flowers, donations can be made…”.

We don’t really know these things. Most of the time I think it’s the family, but often the checks just start appearing and sometimes I am lucky if the donor has put an address on it at all!

I will send out the cards in a bunch.

Did they send the checks to you in a bunch?

Each individual sender should get an individual response.

That’s a separate matter. Anaamika is asking about the cards that go to the family of the person in whose memory a number of donations have just been made.

For my part, should the unthinkable happen and every single member of my mom’s (hypothetical) church made a donation to Forgotten Felines in her name I’d rather receive the acknowledgements in a bunch. (Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy with a list rather than individual cards.)

To the family, then bundle them. I think you’re even okay waiting for a couple of days and bundling them all together (although I understand that the policy where you work might require the acknowledgement to go out same-day).

The nicest one we got when my grandmother died was a bundle from Meals on Wheels. Someone from the office included a note (not a fancy note on fancy stationery, just a handwritten note on regular office paper) that said something along the lines of “thank you for thinking of our work during this sad time for your family.” It seemed so nice that a person had taken the time to do this. I remember it specifically because it seemed to be from “a person who worked in the office” instead of a form letter from an officer of the organization.

Anaamika, I think this is a good opportunity to call the family member directly. Thank them for making your organization the recipient of these donations, how sorry you are for their loss, etc. Then mention that you imagine there will probably be a good number of memorial cards being sent in, and how they’d like to be notified. No need to try to read their minds when this is the perfect opportunity for that one-on-one contact that fundraisers can sometimes struggle to initiate.

Bundle them along with a nice handwritten note thanking them for supporting your cause and expressing your condolences on their loss.

I don’t have the number of the family of the deceased. It’s not a bad idea for someone else in this office to call them, however - it probably wouldn’t be apprpriate for me to call. I am not “important” enough, basically.

We can wait until there’s a bunch, which I did.

And every donor gets an individual card.

The thing is, I have sent all of the cards in a lump before - and someone complained to me, and they were quite nasty about it. “Why would you think that I would want them all like this, and not separately? What is wrong with you?” So it kind of scared me…this is before I had lost Mom and hadn’t had any real deaths close to me, so I really wasn’t sure which way was OK. After Mom died, I realized I didn’t care how they showed up. Every single card was important and valuable to me. So that person was a jerk, but they were no doubt lashing out in their grief.

The cards are professionally made but I handwrite in each one.

Yikes. That person probably looks for nonsensical reasons to complain when not in the throes of grief.

I got separate cards when my mom died, but I would have been happy with a list in one envelope. Having all the information together makes it easier to write thank-you notes to the people who donated.

I would not have wanted a phone call. I spent a week calling my mom’s family, friends, neighbors, creditors, utility companies, bank, etc. I had to repeat the words “my mom died” more times than I could count. I didn’t want to talk about it to any more strangers on the phone.

I agree - no phone call. The family of the recently deceased have usually been inundated with mourners, neighbors, co-workers, and family members. They’ve been busy and harried. A funeral is almost like a wedding thrown together in less than a week. Mail is something they can deal with at their own pace.

I’d send them all together, unless your organization has a policy. They’ll look through them and say “oh, how nice - Aunt Gertrude made a donation” and go on.

StG

Yep. I would prefer to receive one letter that covered everything.

They did. I happened to know them a little bit. But as said, they did just lose someone very dear, and I wasn’t about to judge them.

We did not make a phone call but I did send them a very nice letter detailing all of the donors. I hope they are happy with that. It’s always difficult to know exactly what to do. We have a format, but I have no idea if that’s what people really prefer. :slight_smile: I just try to do what I liked when Mom died.

I’d prefer a list too (on nice stationery if you must); otherwise a bundle. I have to deal with insurance companies and (especially) government agencies who regularly send me one sheet of paper per envelope, multiple envelopes on the same day, all pertaining to the same thing, and it drives me INSANE. Instead of opening, and shredding, one envelope, I have to do it over and over again. Not to mention that if I (or someone I care about) is spending money to pay for this organization’s overhead, it pisses me off if they go out of their way to waste it instead of using more of it to provide services. 30 stamps might not seem like a lot, but consider 30 stamps times the 100 or 200 times this may happen in a year (or a lot more for big organizations), and it adds up to a shit-ton of money. It’s inconvenient and annoying on my end, dealing with multiple envelopes to open, and I’d be at least mildly ticked that you took these donations and then promptly wasted a bunch of money on unnecessary mailing materials. And my temper would most likely be shorter when grieving too.