So when are you going to start waterboarding them, to teach them how to resist interrogation?
When I was 20, I was at home alone with my eldest brother (the one who taught me how to roll out of moving cars), who would have been 35 at the time. His wife and our mother were off running some errand or other. He walked up to me and says ‘check this out’ and pulls out a taser, and demonstrated how it shoots electricity from one prong to t’other. He’s just at the point of explaining how I’m younger, and it would be more sensible for him to electrocute me in order to test this thing, when, tah-dah, the responsible adults returned home, the taser disappeared and the topic was dropped.
So… I guess when they’re 20?
So where is this brother now and what is he up to?
I’m Gonna guess JTF2 or something similar. Either that or jail.lol
Close- military intelligence.
Lemme guess: stationed neat Ottawa, nominally at some administrative job, but you see him every other Christmas or so, and he looks like he could ace a triathlon after drinking & partying all night. Has a lot of business trips for training and conferences. Doesn’t like talking about work 'cause it’s too boring.
He might teach the kids a few tricks too.
I taught myself how to do this when I was younger mostly because I watched too many James Bond movies. For what it’s worth, I used the following:
Instruction Book:
Pick set:
Started with a padlock and moved on to a standard house cylinder lock?
trupa
lol
Damn. My kids are too old now. Maybe I should adopt some more.
I can get you a deal.
For me it was the Rockford Files. Good thing I didn’t teach myself how to drive.
Also precision planning, blueprint reading, concrete drilling, blowtorch use and how to divide by 4.
bang I mean how to divide by 3.
No treatise on antidotes for rare toxic Amazon darts? What kind of spies are these?
Tangentially related:
Also, don’t forget to tell them to use tonic water to combat any allergen the dastardly bad guys may force them to drink. I see them in elegant evening clothes, sardonically requesting a gin and it before the allergen takes effect. Inform them of the advantages of tontines (unless you’re in one).
I was taught (in Driver’s Ed no less) how to change a tire. I was taught (in nursing school) how to discharge a small fire extinguisher and how to roll out hose for a much bigger fire and how to hold the hose while spraying (god knows why I was taught this!).
And don’t forget mundane “regular” safety: stop, drop and roll, cover your face if you’re on fire. (I seem to be fixated on fire today). Never get in a car with an abductor. If faced with the relentless wrath of the truly evil, get into a bathtub and cover yourself with a door. Ok, that one might stretch the bounds of plausibility… 
The bounds of plausible are pretty stretchy around my house. They’re already clear on how to deal with the good folk* and various undead.
We watched ‘Plan 9 from Outer Space’ yesterday, and Attacklass was incensed that the hapless pilot’s wife hadn’t brought a kukri, which she regards as part of the standard kit for dealing with the occult.
*first rule being, never call them, never talk about them, never use the word. Attacklad thought the “F-word” was the common name for the good folk. Second, don’t eat the food of their land. Third, cold iron, which is another reason why the kukri is such an all purpose tool.
Ummmm, I know opinions aren;t being solicited, so I will post this as a cautionary tale re. teaching martial arts to children too young to understand "appropiate response’.
my manager had a boy about 10 or so - he had been taught karate. Then came the incident at the tetherball court.
For those not familiar with it, it is actually a potentially violent game. The other kid caught the ball with his face, and made the mistake of taking a first swing at a brown belt.
Litigation was expected.
Un-solicited suggestion:
Don’t teach kids lethal techniques until the kid is old enough to understand the consequences of such behavior.
Restraint and control is one of the first things that should be taught and reinforced in any martial arts. Indeed, that is what separates martial arts from brawling. I knew a kid in junior high school who clotheslined another kid–put him in a coma for three days, fractured a vertebrae, broke his collarbone–all without a single karate lesson.
Any time you put your hands on someone in violence, you take their life into your hands.
That said, I’m guessing the hot head who threw the initial punch probably thinks twice about getting physical just because he gets angry.
Stranger
You know that, I know that. My point is simply that, Even when taught, a 10 yr old may not always remember that. A 10 yr old with a brown belt can be compared to a loose cannon.
What, no crypto?
I have numerous pieces of spring steel found in the street that have broken off street sweeping machines. I will send them to you. You would need a triangular file to shape them. I dunno what you should use for a tensioning device. A Kukri maybe ?
Sounds good, but I need the kukri to hold off the undead and the good people. Tha’s prolly why Alice carried two. I’ll think of something.
