These are all points that have been discussed before, here and many places elsewhere. I share the OP’s frustration that we threw our national resources, and more importantly, the goodwill of the public and taxpayers, into mankind’s costliest dick-waving exhibition. We were left with literally nothing at the end of the project except the miniscule scientific return, which we could have accumulated - bag of rocks and all - at a fraction of the cost for an unmanned mission series. We built a one-shot, one-purpose system that had no future and gave us no future.
We had a rocket that was fearsomely expensive, pretty much useless for anything else, and of which the last two or three units rotted away as exhibits.
We acquired a huge a mount of engineering expertise… that largely left with the RIFfed and retiring engineers. I think it was Elon Musk who tried to look up capsule heat shield engineering info and found it largely empty files and scanty blueprints. He had to go find the aged engineers who’d done the work to help him reconstruct the materials and process. I doubt this is a special case, so millions of man-hours of brain sweat is essentially lost.
We burned out public interest in a manned space future. No one has wanted to fund the duller, almost pedestrian path we should have taken beginning in 1960, building reusable lift capability, LEO presence, and generally a “ladder to the stars.” Even now, with the almost-good-enough ISS… it’s approaching the end of its useful and planned life, having accomplished nearly nothing.
Until recently, I had soured on private spaceflight, too, since all of them were simply building junkyard specials from leftover US and Soviet tech. No real plans what they were going to do when they used up their pile of engines etc.
Elon Musk and SpaceX may be the real beginning of spaceflight on Earth. I literally stood up and cheered watching their booster come this-><-close to making that tail-first landing, for want of a little hydraulic fluid. Their calm recovery during mission exceptions could teach NASA a thing or two about planning and goals.
My position for a long time (echoed by a long-time JPL/NASA friend) is that we need to mothball NASA and build a real spaceflight program, one shorn of the badly flawed beginnings, warped guidelines and utterly aimless planning. The problem is, we’d have little trouble shuttering NASA, and trying to fund and foster a new space agency with real teeth, balls and funding would make Obamacare look like a cakewalk.
100 years from now, 1960-2000 will be seen as a sadly flawed and almost completely failed attempt to get mankind off the surface of Earth. Apollo and Neil Armstrong will be footnotes to the effort and personnel that get there next, with a purpose, and achieve something more than a touch-n-go.