Quit playing that fucking song now, or...

The BBQ Pit
#1

What the fuck is wrong with British people? Can’t you hear?
Besides reading the Dope I listen to the radio at work. I listen to Virgin Radio, which comes from London. Now they are pretty good. Playing a mix of rock from the ‘60s to today. I’ve heard a lot of stuff that I probably wouldn’t have ever heard because they haven’t hit in the States yet or just because I don’t drive anymore and that is the only place I listened to the radio.

And like any station they aren’t perfect. Songs work in a rotation. Like right now, if they play something by Meatloaf, it will be Bat Out of Hell. Not, Two out of Three, not Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, not Anything for Love but Bat out of Hell and Bat out of Hell only this month.

But this song, or this flimsy excuse for a song, has been worked into the rotation and this song sucks. It hurts. It is the worst song ever. It is worse than You Light Up My Life. I shudder at the idea of identifying the song as people who haven’t heard this should be spared. But every time the station tries to kill me by playing this song, the DJ will comment on how great a song this thing is. It must be some Brit thing I guess. But if there was ever a greatest hits for the deaf, this would be the number one track. I mean, you guys gave us the Beatles, the Stones, Elvis Costello and a host of other great music groups. Why would any of you Brits listen to this crap!

The song sounds like…

Remember that version of The Island of Dr. Moreau with Brando and the original, sad mini-me. Imagine that version of the good Doktor interbred Sarah Brightman with a Siamese cat that was perpetually in heat. (and if you must, that she has four asses) Now, take the ultimate Grizabella from hell and strap her to a bed of nails with her head hanging off the bed. Now place the bed on a trebuchet and launch it with great force. Just as the bed of nails reached the apex of it’s arc, it slams into a cliff face of slate. Now imagine the tortured screams of the beast as the nails slide down a mile of cliff face and you will get some idea of what this song is like.

So get ready people,

You goddamn cocksuckers quit playing this asslicking, Dirty Sanchez giving, mother-raping, dog kicking, father-stabbing, pig sodomizing, mother-stabbing, ass shinning, father-raping song right fucking now. I forbid Wuthering Heights
by Kate Bush to ever be played again on this planet.

Zebra has spoken. So let it be written, so let it be done.

#2

You’d rather them go back to fawning over the Frog Song?

#3

Further proof that something wrong with ears in the UK.

#4

Everyone ready?

1, 2, 3…

Her name is Rio… :smack:

#5

The guy three aisles over keeps whistling the tune to “The Andy Griffith Show” today.

You have a volume knob, you lucky, lucky bastard.

#6

There’s the knob on the left… see it?

Okay, now, grasp it with the fingers and turn it counterclockwise…
NO NO NO The OTHER way… COUNTER clockwise.
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there… better now?

#7

NO IT IS NOT! Even hearig the first few bars saps my will to live and gets the song stuck in my head.

#8

I can name 4 (out of 9) Dopers who might strongly disagree, myself and:[ol][]Newton meter[]FriarTedSkijumper[/ol]But what can one expect from someone who laments not hearing Meat Loaf’s “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad” :smiley:

#9

Could I just take this opportunity to please ask Exploding Kitchen to post more frequently? That name made my day.

That is all.

#10

…but…how could you leave her…when she needed to possess you?

She hates you.
She loves you, too.

#11

I’d rather have Kate Bush than Meatloaf any day of the week.

(You can read that any way you like, it’ll still be true … )

#12

Would you be willing to share?

#13

Hey I know how you feel.
A local staion would play requests for the “retro” lunch. It never failed that some ass hat would request “double dutch bus” Or I think that is the name.
Anyways, I was asked if I listened to them by one of their DJs who was out doing a remote. I calmly explained I would rather have them anally violate my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank. Wen asked why I was more than happy to explain.

FUcking HATE that song.

#14

1977 or '78, I worked in a laboratory where a radio station chosen by TPTB played all day, and one day the station started playing “Two out of three ain’t bad” approximately once an hour. After a couple of days of this, I called and begged them to please not play the song so often. The DJ informed me that they had to play it that often because, “It’s a hit”. I kind of lost it: “How can it be a fucking hit when the damn album has been out less than a week? The only reason you’re playing the damn thing is because somebody’s paying somebody to get it played. STOP PLAYING IT OR I’LL KILL YOU!” Okay, I didn’t go quite that far. But I’ll hate that bloody song with the essence of my being until the day I die.

#15

Actually I like Bat Out of Hell, Two out of Three, Paradise by the Dashboard Light, Anything for Love and Wuthering Heights.

(Though I’m listening to Eric Clapton at the moment…)

#16

First of all:

There is no such song.

Second of all, Kate Bush is so much better than Meatloaf that you couldn’t even find the two anywhere near each other on any sanely-constructed graph of musical goodness.

Even Wuthering Heights, which is, I confess, not my favorite Kate Bush song.

Third of all, this sort of thing is the reason I don’t listen to the radio anymore.

#17

I don’t think the OP was referring to a Kate Bush song entitled You Light Up My Life - but rather the Joe Brooks song covered by every M.O.R. artist from Debbie Boone to Kenny Rodgers. I predict Phil Collins, Sting, The Black-Eyed Peas and Rod Stewart will all cover it before year’s end.

#18

If a gun was put to my head, I’d be forced to take her dancing in the sand over Lola & Rico dancing at the Copacabana any day of the week.

#19

No, I realize that. What I meant is that there is no such song that is worse than Debby Boone’s version of You Light Up My Life.

It was probably poorly phrased on my part. Oh, well. :slight_smile:

#20

I just jumped on itunes and sampled that fucking song.
I hadn’t heard it before and I’m pretty sure that I hadn’t heard *any[/] Kate Bush song.

I’ve been very, very lucky.

Debbie Boone’s got some tough competition