Ooooh - this reminds me. I hate the word “ping” when used in place of “get in touch with.”
As in, “if you have any questions, just ping me.” Gah.
Should I use a sharp sound to determine my distance from you using sonar?
Should I test to see how long it takes an email to reach your desk from mine?
Should I buy you golf clubs?!?
I will go along with the OP on one I really hate. “Ping” It was named after a Navar Sonar Ping to see if something is out there.
Ping is a very simple and useful unix program that checkes only if a different computer is reachable and alive. Nothing else, no message, no value transmitted, just alive. It can occasionally make since in human interaction. for example “I heard there was a big Earthquake in California, But I pinged mom before the phone cut off”. You determined she was reachable and alive and nothing else.
But somehow idiot management types corrupted it into a synonym for get information from. and that pisses me off. “We need to get the entire worksheet filled out, come and ping me in the morning” That is stupid, and wrecks the nice concise meaning it should have.
I have this evil plan that someday I hope I have the guts to follow out. My boss will tell me to ‘ping’ him in the morning. So I’ll walk over to his desk poke him until hey say’s “HEY!” then silently walk back to my desk and say" 1.3 seconds". Then do it 3 more times 
edited to add:
Damn you Figaro and your shorter message length :mad:
*Monster, demonstrate, * and *muster *trace their meanings back to the same root word. Language changes; a word that began with one meaning ends up being associated with others, and evolves. *Ping *is a great example. (Though I admit it would annoy me too, as being aggressively faux-hip.)
It’s not so much that it doesn’t work (IMO), it’s that it’s been co-opted by asshole middle-management types, and now has the air of corporate douche-speak.
Heh. They leave the second r in? I’ve always had an issue pronouncing that word and have to concentrate to keep from saying fuhwuhd when trying to sound competent.
Of course I also say sawt (~sought) for salt, which causes some 
s.
I like the sound of that!
Or you could counter with “Would you rather I uname -a them? We’d at least get some information out of them that way…”
During my brief fling as an empty suit, I used to abbreviate going forward as GF in notes and occasionally even in speech. Nobody asked what I meant.
Mine says ‘leverage’ all the time.
Leverage leverage leverage leverage leverage leverage.
I want to leverage my LART on his forehead.
Fucker. I wish he would DIAF.
Is your use of the above acronyms meant to be ironic? Because you realize it’s exactly the same type of subculture-specific jargon that you’re decrying, right?
(tried to add this earlier but took >5 min to look up)
A price point actually is an economic concept. It’s the price where demand peaks: ie, a certain candy bar sells best at 60c rather than 70 or 75.
Too many people use it to mean price range, though.
Apparently a lot longer than that, if post #4 is any indication. 
“Price point” has a definite use, and it’s too bad that some people use it as if it’s sysnonymous with “price.”
“Going forward” doesn’t really have any purpose that I can discern, but it’s certaiunly not bad as “plan forward,” a tautology that drives me absolutely batshit.
I’m an ISO 9001 auditor and have to read this sort of ridiculous baloney every day. I quite often finding myself saying “You know, you could, if you wanted, take a LOT of the doublespeak and ISO-ese out of your procedures, maybe delete whole sections, and have just as good an operations manual that’s a third as long and ten times easier to understand.” This advice is frequently met with audible sighs of relief.
Wouldn’t this be better expressed as:
Historically we have sazzie-womped the floober in case the wonk was crurled, but we now expect the wonk to be crurl-free and we can skip this step.
Most buzz-speak can be useful in certain contexts. Most of it starts out in contexts where it’s useful. Then some douche of an executive picks it up and runs it into the ground.
As in, “We’re going to be the best company in the world at X going forward.” The first “going” already establishes the future tense. If you were there today you’d say, “We’re the best company in the world at X!” The terminal “going forward” adds nothing; it might as well be a fart into the wind. No, even a fart would be more useful because it clears out flatus. I hate buzz-speak.
Ooh, then you’ll enjoy **Cervaise’s ** classic Reach out (and finger my stinking dungeye)
Going forward, I will no longer use going forward.
‘Going forward’ is obsolete. Please begin using ‘on a go forward basis’.
Aside from spelling issues, isn’t it more correct to say, “Cease and/or desist”?
No.
What she said. And if I didn’t hear “But nobody ever told me I had to do thaaaaaaaaaat…” so often, I wouldn’t have to put those two words together in a document and post it to the damn policies and procedures manual for the department to follow all the fucking time.
Sorry. I have one of those employees. At least it isn’t my assistant this time…