She may be, but that grimace does little for her, IMO.
Yeah, I’d do her in a microsecond, but I’m getting weary of her “sammys” and “Yum-OH!” I have filthy, filthy thoughts about her, though…
George
Nah. Not doing it for me. And whenever she opens her mouth, I just want to stuff a cantelope in it, because she annoys the living fuck out of me.
Sorry, I’m overreacting. I’ll take the older (15 years my senior), but far sexier and more alluring Nigella Lawson. Growl. A personality and voice I could stand, with an air of sophistication, and classic beauty.
My father has the warmies for Paula Deen.
By the way, Alton Brown is my secret boyfriend. Hummina hummina hummina.
How did you know exactly what I was going to post? Get outta my head!
(except the part about the cantelope, I never would have thought of it. That was inspired.)
But Nigella… I’ll be in my bunk.
It’d never work out. You’d get together over a hot stove, lots of foodplay sex at first. Then she’d be cooking all the time and not interested in it out of work, while you’d be eating her leftovers and gaining weight. Then she’d get bored of the food thing, but by that time you’d be obese and she’d run away with the cameraman.
Rachael’s cute, but Nigella’s the one for me. She’s POSH TOTTY. And beautiful, not just cute. And intellectual. And rich. And alluring. And proper woman shaped. Phwoar.
Yiou know she’d beat you to within an inch of your life and, sobbing, you’d thank her for it.
Rachael Ray is the living, breathing definition of “perky”. I can see me getting tired of the perkiness. Over time. A long time, but it would probably happen.
And Nigella Lawson is entirely too severe looking for me, beautiful, not my type. But, with the proper school marm attire…yeah, that’d work.
And I’ve been a very naughty boy.
The first time Rachel Ray and I were to go on a date, and she tried to leave $.18 for a tip, we’d be over. For all of her intolerable qualities, her daily demonstration of being a horribly cheap jerk really pisses me off the most.
First I’ve heard of Nigella, so I Googled. You all have excellent taste. RR? She’d drive me nuts w/ the incessant talking.
Cute as a speckled puppy? Eew!
I never miss a show if I can help it, and I harbor intensely perverted thoughts about her and EVOO.
Rachel Ray annoys the living daylights out of me. The unrelenting perkiness and constant jabber get on my nerves almost immediately. Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t leave a reasonable tip, ever.
I hit the “mute” button, and suddenly watching her make food was pure, filthy pleasure. But have you seen that Maxxim spread, or whatever it was? I couldn’t stop laughing. Somebody needs to get this woman into a proper photo shoot, and stat, because she ain’t exactly wasting away.
Here’s Ray Ray’s FHM spread. She doesn’t look bad, of course, but the images look horribly forced. A proper photo shoot would do her good.
Ray is perkier than Mary Tyler Moore in her Mr. Grant days. And a lot less fun.
Lawson bugs me because she used to write food articles for the New York Times. I found the articles almost unreadable. Her writing style was both pretentious and boring.
Yes, I know I’m going to get flayedmore for the Nigella hating than the Rachael Ray rag on. 
Yep, that’s the one. I really can’t look at this. I’ll start giggling again. The one with the spoon, holy crap! Who’s brilliant idea was that?
I could go for a Nigella Lawson-Rachael Ray sandwich right now. . . Yummy.
Nothing a ball gag won’t fix.
No, no…you’re allowed to hate on Nigella. One less guy to fight for her affections with, and all…
Anyhow, they used to carry Nigella’s column in the Food Section of the Sun Times here and, to be honest, I don’t think I ever really read it. I think I just stared at the pictures that invariably accompanied the article. Food porn at its finest. At any rate, if I did read it, she didn’t leave any sort of impression on me. She certainly doesn’t come across as pretentious on her TV program(me), and her cooking is pretty down-to-earth and downright comfort-y at times.