“I’m… I’m an excellent driver… excellent driver.” ::rocks back and forth:: [/RAINMAN]
Today is one of those days when I’m genuinely thankful my Scottish hubby doesn’t drive. We’ve had quite a bit of rain all week and today’s downpour is one of the hardest. The ground is saturated and with this morning’s thunderstorm, the roads were like rivers and ponds. I was down to 10 miles per hour in places this morning, the wipers on high, next to zero visibility. The only reason we didn’t wipe out is that I know our streets like the back of my hand. The Scotsman would have been toast.
We came upon a foolish old man with an umbrella who was walking out in the street (flooded sidewalk and curb). I would have hit him if he hadn’t been revealed by some spectacular lightning 5 seconds before. For christ’s sake, man. It’s pitch black, it’s pouring and the streets are flooding. Wear some light-colored clothing or take a flash light if you must get your fix of crap coffee at The Old Bastard Cafe.
After turning onto a four lane thoroughfare, my poor Altima was nearly drowned several times by dickless dickwads barreling through the ponds at 40 miles an hour in their SUVs. I wave my fist in the air. “Damn you and your high profile vehicle! Damn you all to HELL!!!”
I talk to myself about coming home using an alternate route & then concluded out loud that those roads would be worse than this one on (slightly) higher ground. We pull into his parking lot. The Scotsman worried that I wouldn’t get home safely. “Oh honey, I’ll be fine… Don’t worry. Have a good day. <kiss> I love you!” I pull out of the parking spot while he runs to the door. Like every other day, I look in my rearview mirror to see him and we both wave. Today his image in mottled and streaked with rain in the glass. I get back on the road and turn up NPR. The weather/traffic guy announces a higher than average number of wrecks on the highways, as well as several cars that have lost control and gotten stuck in ditches and ravines (usually reserved for icy or snowy conditions). I chuckle at the misfortune of dumbass drivers. I am a Driving Goddess.