Raising a trillion dollars on short notice - what's actually happening? (layman explanation)

Factual Questions
1

So the Trump administration now wants a $1 trillion economic stimulus, including sending out around $500 billion in direct payment checks to Americans.

Ignoring the politics of Trump or Covid-19 for a moment, just what is happening, layman-wise? How does the Treasury (or Federal Reserve) scrounge up this $$ on short notice?

Is it the concept of “most money today is actually just digital ones and zeros” and so the government writes checks for thousands, and as each American cashes these checks, they just get some digital ones and zeroes added to their bank account, but otherwise nothing truly tangible actually happens?

2

Auction Schedule of U.S. Treasury Securities. (pdf)

The Treasury will auction off more securities.

If the Federal Reserve Bank feels that more money needs to be added to the system, they will buy some of those securities either directly or on the secondary market.
The Federal Reserve is the one that has the bags of ones and zeroes that they can add to their books to create the money to pay for all this. They always demand some sort of collateral in exchange for their ones or zeroes. Usually the collateral is Treasury securities but in extraordinary circumstances they accept private-sector securities. Sometimes they make loans to banks by adding ones and zeroes to their reserve accounts, sometimes they just buy the Treasury securities directly by adding ones and zeroes to the Treasury account. When they add ones and zeroes to the banks’ accounts, the banks can use them to pay for Treasury securities either directly from the Treasury or on the secondary markets. Or the banks can make loans to their customers who buy them directly or on the secondary markets.

3

Congress directs the Treasury to spend a particular amount of money on something by passing legislation. The Treasury gets that money from two places: collecting taxes, and selling bonds.

Bonds can be sold on very short notice (all done electronically these days), and the good news is that there’s a near infinite demand for US government bonds and interest rates are currently very low. Collecting taxes takes a bit longer, and if tax rates are going to change that will require new legislation from Congress.

4

Fund raisers, cookie sales, arms sales… if that doesn’t do it, then the CIA wipes off the 80’s playbook of selling cocaine to the US public.

5

Ads and subscriptions, just like the Dope.

6

The Girls Scouts already have that one locked up (damn you, Thin Mints. Why can’t I quit you?).

7

The Federal Government could sell real photos and images of real UFO’s and the remains of space aliens to raise a trillion dollars in a short amount of time (if they wanted to that is)

8

The REAL Aliens Farewell tour!
Live performances, autograph sessions, space rocks, the possibilities are endless!

9

It’s too late to take back the trillions already given to corporate interests. Try other options.

  • Impose excise duties on export goods.
  • Raise admission fees to federal facilities.
  • Sell Taiwan to China or whoever wants it.
  • Auction Yellowstone National Park for hunting.
  • Rent-out STD-screened political celebs by the hour.
  • Rig Monopoly: “Bank error in your favor - win $1 trillion.”
  • Public lotteries funded early American projects. Try again.