Rant Already! June Oh you want to!

The BBQ Pit
181

Last Monday I couldn’t find my car “key” (it’s actually a fob that enables keyless entry and operation of the car)

Lovely wife offers to look for it so I grabbed the spare and took off for work.

Wife searches, fails and then leaves for appointments.

She who walks on four legs and barks however chanced upon said fob. Found it quite tasty and chewy.

Replacement fob - $80
Reprogramming for fob, car etc - $55

So it qualifies as the most expensive chew toy to date.
The bitch would be dead by now if she wasn’t so adorable.

182

I worked yesterday. So of course it was a perfect day to be outside – sunny and warm with highs in the low 70’s. I am not working today. So of course it’s rainy and cool – the perfect day to be inside.

183

I’m never eating pulled-pork poutine again. I felt kind of sick after eating it for supper last night (too rich for my stomach), and woke up in the middle of the night not sure if I was going to barf or not. Bleah. Fortunately my heart and arteries won’t mind if I don’t eat “heart attack in a bowl” again. :slight_smile:

184

I’ve mentioned before that I work for a tax representation firm. As you can imagine, we get a lot of ridiculous questions on the day to day, but I can’t hold it against most folks, since our tax code is needlessly complex. That said, every once in a while, stupid and greedy meet at an apex of awful. Ok, that’s really dramatic-- today’s isn’t that bad, but still:

Lady: “My husband is a private contractor in Iraq, so we put all of our income as not taxable on our tax return and now the IRS is coming back and saying we owe them money!”
Me: “Right. . .”
Lady: “And we pulled the regulation and because he’s in a combat zone, they’re wrong!”
Me: “Voluntarily. He’s voluntarily in a combat zone.”
Lady: “So?”
Me: “So, the government allows MILITARY members to exempt their combat zone pay because they, more or less, don’t really have a choice about being there. Private contractors CHOOSE to go there and, in addition, are often handsomely compensated for their troubles. How much did your husband make?”
Lady: “$350,000.”
Me: “Exactly.”

185

Holy shit, ain’t THAT the truth!!!

186

What is it with idjit neighbors that think the lawn has to be mowed every weekend, rain or shine. It rained all day Saturday and a bit on Sunday morning and sure enough, two of my idjit neighbors thought they just HAD to mow the lawn on Sunday afternoon with the grass sopping wet. Makes me look bad when I wait until it is actually dry enough to mow.

187

Bwahahahahahaha!!!

Greedy little swine.

188

That’s bad for the grass anyway. Your lawn will look better in the long run, so no worries!

189

I kind of knew that, I just wish someone would tell my idjit neighbors.

190

Speaking of grass, we drove past the house we used to own yesterday. The yard hasn’t been mowed yet this year, and the flower beds that I painstakingly created haven’t been touched in years, either. It infuriates me; we had such a nice yard, and it would take minimal effort to keep it pretty (all the plants are drought-tolerant, low maintenance plants, but you still have to weed a little and mow). If you don’t want to lift a finger in a yard, rent a damned apartment, you jerks! Although it’s probably the landlord’s fault - if you don’t want to lift a finger in a yard, rent out apartments, not houses, you jerks! Although even apartment buildings require upkeep; hmm - look after your damned yards, landlords and renters!

191

Even the subtlest forms of road rage can come back to haunt you. Case in point - Mrs. J.

Now, Mrs. J. is an excellent driver, possessed of much greater patience and consideration than me. She does have her limits, however.

This past weekend we were motoring across Connecticut - a fine state, even if there is nowhere to eat. On a scenic two-lane highway we found ourselves behind a car whose driver was intent on doing 30 mph in a 45 mph zone. No big deal - Mrs. J. followed along at a discreet distance, only to have the driver decide to pull over with the evident intent to allow us to pass. This happened at the top of a hill on a curve, where visibility into the oncoming lane was virtually nil, plus our considerate driver was blocking half our lane too.

“Why’d you stop there, you FUCKING MORON??!?” quoth Mrs. J., who after a time managed to squeeze by, at which time we realized the other driver was a nun in full habit.

She could not possibly have heard Mrs. J., our windows being closed. But I ask you, is it coincidence that seconds later, Mrs. J. was seized by a nasty itch on her leg?

As Gordon Gee could have told her, don’t mess with the Catholics. :frowning:

192

We were driving around yesterday and were in a playground zone when a car came up beside us, looking like it was going to pass which is illegal here*. I had my window open, and said something like, “I thought we were in a playground zone,” upon which the other driver complimented us on our car. :smack:

*In all fairness, drivers are absolutely terrible about school and playground zones here and I frequently get passed when I’m obeying the law.

193

So at the beginning of this week, I heard a rumor that my job was changing. Someone was quitting and I was taking his position. Speculation and rumors flew and, as the day went on, clues pointed to it being a done deal.

But, aside from rumors and speculation, nobody actually told me anything.

The job switch is a lateral move, I guess. But I’m not at all happy about it. Like, I’m doing my best to have a good attitude about it and assume that I’ll learn to love it, but I’m not really convinced yet and I’m REALLY sad about not getting to work with my old cats anymore.

Anyway. So I’m supposed to be off the next two days. And I went about my week thinking that’s what was happening. Made plans and have errands to run and switch dogsitting jobs and all kinds of stuff. And then, like half an hour before I’m about to be like, “YAY WEEKEND!!”, someone points out that the guy I’m replacing is scheduled tomorrow. Which, again, nobody told me.

So I go to the boss (who is, by the way, the least approachable person on the face of the planet) and ask and she was absolutely planning on having me there tomorrow. She says that I do, of course. She has me on her schedule to work then, after all. It’s just that nobody thought I might be a good person to tell about that particular detail.

So… I get no weekend or days off this week. I go in tomorrow (my Saturday) to work in a section I really don’t like. My job has been switched without anyone telling me about it. I don’t get to work in the section I love anymore, aaaaand another cat broke with calici just before the end of the day, so I guess we haven’t beaten that one yet and we’re going to be in quarantine some more.

Ugh. Color me cranky.

194

It gets better. For a while, Bill would go into a complete rage or something that I thought was very minor. Scary rage to the “Who are you and what did you do with my lover?” part.

Bill hates raw onions and when we are eating out, he always asks that they not be put on his food. I happen to like raw onions so if the server makes a mistake, he just forks them off his salad and gives them to me.

About 6 months after his surgery, we were at a diner, the waitress brought our salads and his had a couple of slices of purple onions. He flipped out at her. It was nuts, Bill is always patient and kind, I couldn’t believe he was doing that. She was apologizing and offering to get a new salad right away, I was telling him to calm down, it was just a mistake and that I’d happily eat the onions.

Suddenly, he stopped yelling at her and said “What the fuck am I doing? I’m so sorry.” and much more apologizing. He then gave her a 20, told me that he needed to go walk around in the parking lot for a while and left.

He never went into a rage after that.

While Bill’s recovery was much faster than Tony or TOS, all three of them almost died suddenly and then they were in a LOT of pain and their bodies failed by not recovering instantly.

Thankfully, I’ve never been there but I ride with military guys. I understand that the mental shock of that sort of thing does some strange things to the mind.

BTW, we went out to eat on Friday night. Our salads came with chopped onions. Bill looked at his, politely reminded the waiter that he had asked for no raw onions, waiter did his job and all was good.

So, it really will get better.

How is TOS btw? I know that a lot of people wonder. I really hope the welding thing is working out, you sounded happy that he was happier.

195

At a crowded bar,two deep, tried to get the bartenders attention asked the guy ahead of me to get the bartenders attention, it was loud I didn’t think he heard me, touched his elbow, he turned on me and said that was assault, that I touched him. Okay. I backed away and left.(pissed off because I had free drink coupons).

196

I don’t think that’s an assault that anyone is going to get any traction with prosecuting, but it was kind of the guy to let you know that he’s a nutcase and get clear of him. :slight_smile:

197

Damn, if that counts as “assault” then I could have had thousands of people thrown in jail back in my bar-hopping days. :rolleyes:

198

I’m guessing he never takes the subway during rush hour.

199

Or rides economy class in an airplane.

200

Or goes into a mall at Christmas time.