Damn, people! Can’t you see it’s not April anymore? It’s been a whole week! Is starting a new thread really that hard?!
So here’s mine.
I’m a student at a technical school. I dropped by today to donate some pet food for the donation drive, and then decided to give my little boys a “tour” of the building. My 3-year-old is always asking about school, so I decided so show him around. I parked next to an SUV, and thought I heard a dog barking when I got out of my car. The school has dogs on-site for the vet tech program, but I was at the other end of the building, and this sounded like a really small dog. Sure enough, there’s a small Pet Taxi in the very back of the SUV containing some sort of little yippy thing. The FRONT windows were open … about 3-4 inches at most. I noticed the make and model, and notified the lady at the front desk. She told the Assistant Dean, and he said he’d look into it.
On the way out, maybe 15-20 minutes later, I took a better look at the car. I saw a stethoscope hanging from the rearview mirror, and a student ID. Bingo! IT WAS A FUCKING VET TECH STUDENT!!! I went back into the building and gave the receptionist the name and program information from the ID. I hope they pulled her from class and reamed her a new asshole. WTF was she thinking? Day time classes start at about 8 or 9 AM and go for about four hours.
I mean, I know it’s only 65 degrees outside, but it is partly sunny, and I know my car warmed up a good 20 degrees during the hour we went grocery shopping earlier today. And it’s ILLEGAL no matter what the weather. It just blew my mind.
Something went blooey under my hood, right around the fuse-box region. “Blooey” encompasses me losing the dashboard lights, right rear parking lights and right front parking lights. So now if I drive around after sundown, I stand a very good chance of getting a ticket. Oh, sure, my garage has ordered the necessary part – FROM KOREA! I called this morning, they know it’s been shipped, but they have no idea when it’ll get here.
Not driving after dark, I can live without. Oh, wait - no I can’t! My wife (who is dependent on me for transport) has to be at work at 4 in the morning 4 times in the next week!
My roommate has decided that fresh ground coffee is the only way to go, and even though we both have the same working hours (8-5), she gets up at 5 every morning just for kicks (not a big deal because she used to be quiet!). We live in a small house and my bedroom is directly next to the kitchen. So now, every morning I get blasted awake by her grinding fucking coffee in the fucking blender right next to my fucking pillow on the other side of the wall two hours before I need to be up.
I asked her to stop or grind it the night before, and she acted like I suggested that she should start drinking powdered cat piss instead. Yeah, I’m really sure that in 8 hours all the precious coffee flavor is going to leak out into the air. She only started doing this after we already re-signed the lease through 2010, too - before she was anti-coffee and wouldn’t even drink it. Sneaky.
School’s out and I’m STILL looking for an internship. This makes me super grumpy. Right now one of the internships I’m looking at seems to like me, and to make me prove my worth they are requesting TWO ESSAYS on my goals and shit like that.
I don’t wanna! School’s out! No more stupid essays!
OTOH, they’re in India and it would be sweet to spend the summer in India.
When I show up at Rite-Aid at 3:30am looking like I just got stung on the nose by a hive of bees, wearing pajamas and slippers, coughing and sneezing and carrying a giant wad of kleenex, OBVIOUSLY I’m buying one (1) box of Sudafed for my Meth lab. You have every right to glare at me suspiciously. Here: have some adenovirus. ::splort::
In nine days my daughter graduates from college and is moving back home. I don’t know what her plans are for the summer, the future, or the rest of her life. Oh, and she still doesn’t have her drivers license. All that uncertainty, and a grumpy hormonal adult with all her attending problems back moping around the house makes my stomach hurt.
Dear SO: Please quit cramming all the clothes into the washing machine. 1. Separate by color. 2. Please wash on cold. 3. This way, I don’t have to pull everything out of the dryer to find it all wrinkled.
You’re not poor anymore. You don’t have to watch those quarters at the laundromat. I know that’s how mom did it. But, we have our OWN washer and dryer now.
“Sweet” in the sense of “hot and wet as Satan’s armpit”, unless you’re up north in Dehradun or somewhere.
Actually, I’ve lived in India in the summer months and I agree it’s worth it to be there. But you definitely need to be prepared for the heat and the rains.
Don’t ya love it. “Un box ub claridin dee peese, achoo!” Your drivers license, birth certificate and thumbprint please!
Yeah, I’m the problem. Track ME :rolleyes:
[minirant]
I’m back at work on the first part of the first part of my fucking vacation.
Listen, assholes; STOP SHOOTING EACH OTHER! Jesus Christ on a fucking Unicycle, I mean seriously, the weather breaks for 15 fucking minutes and all of a sudden the parking lot of a strip mall is the fucking OK corral. What the fuck is WRONG with you?
/minirant
Manny- I really don’t care if you embarrass yourself, but you have also embarrassed a good (once great) franchise and a pretty good manager. Stupid fuck-nugget. Of course, that’s right, you didn’t test positive for a performance-enhancing substance- it was a female infertility drug used by men to restart testosterone production after a cycle of steroids.
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuch better. Right up there with testing positive for a masking agent.
To be fair, it’s not the cashier, or the pharmacist, or the store, or the corporation who made the decision to take down your info. If they’re doing this, it’s because that’s the law where you are.
Listen, Pizza Hut, you’re not fooling me with your GIANT Panormous pizza! It’s not the most giantest pizza ever, it’s TWO LITTLE PIZZAS IN ONE BIG BOX. The commercials make me insane. They are touting this pizza “so BIG it sould have its own ZIP code!” but in reality it is two NORMAL sized pizzas in one box!!! What’s so special about that? NOTHING!
A colleague of mine got pissed off at me when I took her wheely chair to help move an injured student who was crying and limping down the hallway. She sent me a nasty e-mail. I guess the Grinch lives at the school I teach at! Yeesh!
By “wheely chair” you mean “rolling desk chair”, I presume? If it was actually your colleague’s wheelchair that you borrowed, then although it was nice of you to help the injured student, I’d have to agree that that was taking a bit of a liberty.
(In fact, I don’t know that I’d borrow even a desk chair without asking its regular user for permission first, at least as a formality. Some people are ergonomically dependent on special settings for the chair’s height or back angle or what have you, and wouldn’t want to risk the thing getting bumped out of alignment when being used as an impromptu wheelchair. Yes, people should be more generous about lending their stuff to help others, but people should also ask permission before borrowing.)
