Hey, maybe he’s got acne…
People who write checks in stores. Why not use a debit card, which is FASTER? Because of the float?
I apologize for the stereotype, but check writers are typically female (my spouse included).
Rolling desk chair yes. I’m sorry but there’s an 11 year old kid with a leg injury. I also have unsupervised kids in the classroom. I have no time to go look for her. She’s an adult, she can find another chair in the meantime. Aren’t we as teacher supposed to put our kid’s needs first? I think she over reacted. She could have made an announcement to find it. I don’t want to go into the politics of my schools, but as an itinerant teacher…my stuff is moved all the time.
And it’s a generic school issue desk chair. It’s very unlikely she has a back condition.
Two college rants:
Graduation for the students who are graduating is TODAY. So why the hell haven’t final grades been posted? If you give us a timeline of when this stuff will be available, it should be available. You know the professors wouldn’t be forgiving if we missed assignment deadlines, so why should the main office.
Secondly, a nice hearty fuck you to the parking office. A few weeks ago I got a parking ticket for parking in a staff lot. OK, fine. But said lot has five entrances and only one of them has a sign stating the lot is for staff only. And a double fuck you to the person in charge of appeals at the parking office who after being made aware of this fact replied with “well you should have known that anyway.”
If I see that Enzyte Bob commercial One. More. Time…
So the deal is that if I sleep with the windows open, I get an ear infection. Is that it? Them the rules forever and ever? I suppose if I get adventurous and decide to go camping or something my head will explode.
Fuck that. Bring on the summer when I can shut myself into my nice chilled house with filtered air. Spring air is just too tempting.
Look, deli bitches. When I ask for thin sliced, I don’t mean “just slice it, whatever”, I mean thin sliced! Do not bring me a sample slice and when I say, “Oh, cut it a lot thinner than that”, nod and cut my half a pound of turkey and leave me to get home and find out that you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THIN SLICED MEANS. <pant pant pant>
Now I have a half a pound of gross-ass thickly sliced turkey that I just know will rot in the fridge.
Stupid, soggy spring weather! I wanna drive my car with the top down, dammit!!
I have four books checked out of the library – and three are due tomorrow. Two of them I was able to renew, but the one I haven’t gotten to yet, has a hold on it, so of course, I wasn’t able to. Dammit! I hate it when that happens.
Oh well, no big deal, it’s just somewhat annoying. (And of course, my own stupid fault)
Attention people who make operating systems and other software developers:
Whatever I am doing is the most important thing on my computer. Nothing else that’s going on is more important than what I am doing at that moment. You do not get to steal focus from what I’m doing for anything short of warning me about impending death. I truly do not give a shit that there’s a new Java update, or something is done downloading, or my daily anti-virus scanner is done running, or anything other than what I am doing at the time. Will Java suddenly stop working and kill all the puppies because I didnt install this brand new update that adds an extra fucking stripe to the UI and fixes one tiny little problem out of the millions of problems Java causes on a daily basis? Fuck no. I know there’s something downloading, I fucking told you to download it. I’m working on this right now, I’ll get to it when I fucking decide to get to it. And anti-virus scanner, shut the hell up. You didn’t find any viruses. You didn’t find them yesterday, or the day before that. What you did find was a bunch of cookies from web sites I visit. I’ve told you before, they’re not dangerous. I don’t need to read a report about all these cookies you found. No, I don’t, shut the hell up.
This goes triple for when I am typing something. Jumping Jesus on a fucking pogo stick, why the hell would you shift focus out of a window I was typing in? I might accidentally say Yes to all the fucking stupid shit you bombard me with on a daily basis, and that would suck. If I am typing or clicking or otherwise actively doing something and you switch focus to another window ever again, I will find out who was responsible for coding that particular piece, hunt you down and force feed your own slow barbecued extremities.
Maybe we can trade deli byatches. “I’d like a pound of pastrami, 1/4” thick so I can cube it." A pile of meat sliced thinner than a butterfly wing is plopped on the counter.
To some of my callers today:
When you ask me a question I presume the purpose for asking me is to receive information from me that will benefit your knowledge and understanding of your redemption program. It would behoove you to LET ME FINISH TALKING when trying to answer your questions! If you keep interrupting me or asking me further questions while I am speaking I cannot effectively do my job! Why are you asking me questions if you won’t let me finish answering them?!!!
Monday morning I pick up the phone to make a call and instead of a dial tone I get a buzzing noise. So I call AT&T on my cell phone and go through their automated system to report this. At no time do I talk to a person, but the system is able to verify that my phone is out so I’m told that they’ve “written up a ticket” on this and a technician will be in touch later. About quarter to four I get a call from the technician to tell me that he’ll be there in about twenty minutes. After he arrives he checks the line and then fixes what he says is an improper ground, which had cut off my phone service but not my DSL. He gives me his card in case I have any further problems.
So an hour ago I try to make a call and the phone is out again. I call the number on the card and talk to him, at one point letting him hear the noise the phone is now making (a different buzzing from what I was getting Monday. He says he’ll call me back when he knows when he can get here.
I decide to check my voicemail, which I hardly ever use because I have an answering machine, and find, besides a few messages from Monday that I didn’t know about, one from yesterday. So that means my phone was out yesterday, but I didn’t know it because I never tried to make any calls.
Sorry, I was just excited to get an actual human being on the line.
Look, Domino’s Pizza… I don’t know who you think you’re fooling with your “breadbowl pasta” because it is *clearly visible *to me that your so-called breadbowl is a PIZZA CRUST. You are selling little pizzas with pasta on top! Want some carbs with your carbs?
I don’t know why pizza makes me so angry. 
Dammit, Maggie, STAY OUT OF THE SINK!!! We fed you a half an hour ago, you don’t need to go looking for scraps from the damned food can, or see if anyone else left a few bites on THEIR plates, mmmkay? (I have to keep sticking the can under the drainer and filling it up with water after I caught her LICKING the damned thing! She’s going to cut her tongue one of these days. It’s too dark to take it out to the recycling bin, fuck it. Stupid cat.)
I’m mad at library guy. On the 25th I dropped by the library and asked for my books to be renewed. He said sure, and I went on my merry way. Until I learned yesterday that he renewed two books out of five, and I now have three overdue. grrr.
We don’t know that. He might be pregnant. 
(HCG is the substance tested for in home pregnancy kits)
I didn’t understand it to be intended to mask his use of steroids, so much as try to fix one of the symptoms of prior steroid use.
'Course, I haven’t seen the news much since the suspension was announced. There might have been new details released.
Yo dawg, I heard you liked carbs so we put some pasta on your pizza so you can spike your blood sugar while you spike your blood sugar!