Rant Already! June Oh you want to!

The BBQ Pit
541

I LOVE that. It’s really disturbing but totally appropriate.

Another minor rant: I went to my local YMCA a couple of weeks ago and took my kids to swim. My son is 7 and has become a really good swimmer (at least in a standard pool) and loves to practice swimming from place to place under water, skimming along the bottom, going as far as he can, etc. My daughter is 3 and can’t swim, so I spend a lot of time shuttling her up and down the pool, teaching her to float and kick and all that jazz.

So my son’s doing his thing about 1/3 of the pool away while I’m keeping an eye on him and floating his sister. Something important to note - the water was just a little higher than his waist - he was easily able to stand up. One of the lifeguards came up to me to tell me that regardless of whether the child was a competent swimmer or not, my son could be only an arm’s length from me. Really???

Now, part of me gets it. I sure the heck don’t want something to happen to my son and although it’s the lifeguard’s job to make sure that the rules are followed, I still hold myself responsible for making sure they walk, not run, aren’t doing anything unsafe, etc. And even though I felt like I was being vigilant, the fact remains that I’m trying to be vigilant while at the same time managing another kid. But the requirement that he be no further than an arm’s length away, especially when he can stand up easily and is a fairly competent swimmer who passed all his summer swim tests at that same pool, really just killed the whole experience. Plus, how the heck is he supposed to practice his skills if he’s only an arm’s length away? My arms aren’t that long - probably not even more than 2 or so feet. That’s really damn close.

So I spent almost the entire time either trying to keep close or calling to him to come back, stay close, stop swimming away, no, I’m sorry you can’t play over there until I get there and those are the rules. It really sucked and I think we’ll try really hard to stick to a different pool when I’m taking him and his sister swimming.

542

Does something happen to mothers when they get to be a certain age, whereby they must say whatever comes to mind, no matter how mean or inappropriate? Or does something just happen to daughters when they get to a certain age, and they just start noticing this kind of shit for the first time?

543

Amazon and Evilbay are your friend, when the local brick and motar have decided not to take your money.

As a bonus, you get to stay inside and let the nice gentleman in brown deal with the blast furnace outside.

You might want to order a few extra, since the othershoe has that herd of grills…

(herd, gaggle, pod?)

544

Just wait untill you hear the same story, or worse, parts thereove, 17 times over 3 days. :rolleyes:

545

I didn’t actually get hit, but I sure came close. :mad:

546

The first happens to a lot of over-socialized women as they decide they’re tired of being polite, but also to many people as they age. Others just have been “brutally honest” since forever.

547

That’s one line from Glen Garry Glen Ross we don’t say out loud because, no matter how shitty we are, the leads lately are worse and there aren’t many of them. The past few weeks we’ve only been calling in five markets: Pittsburgh, Indy, Toronto, Calgary, and San Diego. A couple weeks ago we stopped calling Pittsburgh, Indy, and Toronto because we had totally worn out our welcome with the receptionists at the few law firms and mineral companies we kept calling, over and over. (We are on an automated dialer and, when our boss has her way, we can’t judge whether to call that place we just called a minute ago. She has also said that it is the job of the gatekeeper–switchboard operator, receptionist, or personal assistant–to put our calls through to the person we ask for. I’m not sure if she is retarded or insane. Everybody else is happier when we are in “preview” mode and can use our judgement.)

We have no leads then in the Eastern and Central time zones, and are restricted from calling Mountain before 9AM their time. (No such restriction exists for Pacific, so you can hear me ask, “Why am I calling San Diego at 7:45AM?”) My shift starts at 8:15AM Central, so I sit there with my thumb up my ass until 10.

When Calgary flooded last week we stopped calling there. Fortunately, the Calgary market also includes Moose Jaw, Moosomin, Red Deer, Terrace, Medicine Hat, and, of course, Saskatoon, so I’m not entirely bereft of leads, but look at that list and tell me how many appropriate leads can be found there. No, it’s fewer than that. At least I can play European Tourist and ask if Edmonton was affected by the same floods because it’s in the same province as Calgary so they can’t be more than 25 [del]kilometers[/del] kilometres apart, right?

Calgary is getting drained, but Monday is Canada Day, so nobody will be working until Tuesday. Then they’ll need a couple days to catch up so they don’t find my attentions even less desirable than usual. Thursday would be a good day, except it’s the 4th down here. Friday will be good calling Canada, but San Diego will be right out. I’m supposed to stretch out my time between calls and that boss has come up with the brilliant solution that we don’t give up on a lead until we have tried fifteen times, instead of the current ten. This raises the possibility that someone will pick up and complain that we’ve been calling every day for a week and a half but never left a message and just wants to know who the hell we are. This is very nearly as effective for getting an entire company put on our Do Not Call list as calling the CEO at 7:45AM.

It’s a paperless office so I can’t pass the time doing crossword puzzles, we can’t use the internet so we can’t find our own leads or somebody at the company who is more appropriate to talk to than the CEO, and we can’t have any electronic devices at all on the sales floor so I can’t work on my novel or my next rant. Next week will be miserable, but it beats selling shoes (not just an Al Bundy reference).

548

People who draw graffiti over bus maps and bus schedules should have permanent graffiti drawn on their faces. :mad:

549

Some of them already do.

550

Oh yeah, I finally slept a bit. Got to sleep just after midnight. Woke up coughing a lot, but finally crawled out of bed at 12:30pm.

So sick I can’t even go for a walk. Don’t remember the last time I was too sick for that. Even so, I may just drive (very slowly and carefully) to the grocery store and stumble around, since I’m really low on food. Not that I can each much other than fruit at the moment. I think I’m just bored and want to get out. Maybe I’ll just go take a nap.

551

I’m glad that you are still alive, Chimera. I once had the real flu and it sucked big time. If you are able to get to a store, buy gaterade or pedialyte. Your body needs the electrolytes.

When I was that sick, I had a glass of water on my nightstand and I had put a paperback book on the glass to keep the cats from drinking it. At one point, I woke up wanting a drink of water, but the effort of getting the book off the glass and then actually drinking from it wore me out so much that it was another day before I tried it again.

I think we now have a new dog. We borrowed a rescued gray hound to chase the goose off. The sweet, pretty, well mannered dog had a great time chasing the goose away. She even barked at the goose in her excitement.

Then she came to the door and looked happy and proud, so we let her in and she ignored our cats and leaned against Bill’s leg and gave him such adoring looks that he put her on his lap and they had a mutual love session.

Yes, I do want to keep her, but this is a bad time to try to add another critter to the mix.

OH geeze, while I was typing that, she came to me and leaned on my leg and looked up at me with adoring dog eyes. Lucky jumped on my desk and rubbed his face on her.

We now have a new dog. Her name is Buttercup or Daisy. Daisy might be easier for her to understand, but I like Buttercup better. She’s will probably tell us her true name after we get home and have more time to spend with her.

552

Think of Buttercup as a wedding present, flatlined.

553

Buttercup is giving us the gift of love. She adores us. Steve came down the stairs, saw the dog and ran back up the stairs. She looked all eager and wanting to chase him, but sat down and waited for the command, which she didn’t get, so she just waited for us to tell her what to do.

I knew that rescued gray hounds were trained to not chase without permission, but this sweet girl isn’t aggressive or anything. She only wanted to chase Steve because he was running, not because she wanted to bite him.

Speaking of the big poofy wedding, I’ll probably be offline for a couple of weeks, unless Bill has to go stomp fires out. My plan for that is to stay in Hawaii and bitch about him being gone, with lots of tropical drinks in my hand and my feet in the sand. And sunscreen, lots of sunscreen.

Buttercup just nuzzled up to Lucky and is washing his head. She is really the best rescue dog I’ve ever met. And she is ours. 75 bucks for a well trained and fixed dog who loves us? Such a deal.

554

“Though you don’t even know why” she’s named Buttercup.:stuck_out_tongue:

It’s always those soulful doggy eyes that get you. I liked dogs but never had one until not quite three years ago, and now I understand what I was missing all those years.

555

Congratulations on your new doggie! She sounds like a real sweetie! Of course, I think she should be Princess Buttercup! :slight_smile:

556

No, no, no, that black line on the map? That’s the Northern Line, and you were supposed to transfer to it at King’s Cross. Now you’re standing on the platform way the hell out in Cockfosters and you’re screwed.

557

If the previous post was too esoteric or just plain dumb), I plead punchiness. On a moment’s notice this afternoon, I drove a couple of hours to Summerfest to see the original lineup of The Zombies* and the Mowgli’s. Just got back and I’m “tarred”.
*Had no idea that Colin Blustone also did vocals for the Alan Parsons Project. Between that and Argent songs and their penchant for doing covers of vintage rock songs, and it was an Assorted Oldies Show.

558

OMG I’m so with you on this. I’ve been sick since the beginning of June and other than dr’s appts I haven’t left the house. I had to take taxi’s to the doctors when my husband was working because there is no way in hell I could drive.

My daughters birthday was last week and she had to come and visit me and cook her own dinner so I didn’t spread the virus to her as well and my husband has been sleeping in the spare bedroom so he can get some sleep. Even then I managed to wake him up coughing a floor away.

I’m just sick of myself. Most of the whining stays in my head but damn that’s really unpleasant for me :wink:

559

digs, I had my first holiday in England about a month ago and I’m almost giddy with excitement because I completely understand your comment. :slight_smile:

And if I need a rant, umm…the sun is shining too brightly today, dammit. I guess.

560

It probably has nothing to do with how well your son can swim; my guess is all the other parents who use a public pool as a babysitter have ruined it for everyone.