Rantlets of your past

The BBQ Pit
21

Another school related rant here. Well actually theres two…

I was a good student at school, learned what I was supposed to, done my homework, paid attention in class etc. etc. But we had this french teacher, Ms. Hart, and she hated me and my friends, for no reason. The Classroom was set up so that there were three rows of about five desks and each desk sat 2 students. The first row sat me and my friends, second row sat different people that she liked, and the third row sat the people that could be called the really intelligent kids and the teachers daughters etc.

Anyway one day we had tape class, the teacher thinks she hears me talking to person sitting beside me and screams at me to get out… Im like ook, so I left, apprarently I shouldnt have left, and because I did I got in shit with the principle, my mother, my yearhead, and the stupid fecking frech teacher!

Because she thought she heard me talking! Stupid fucking cow :mad:

The same teacher once threw a chair at us, and the duster for the blackboard, that just gives some indication of what she was like…

Anyway the second rant: This is minor, when we were finishing primary school, it was common for eeryone to get there friends and classmates to sign there school shirts (we had to wear a uniform). Anyway the year we finished school our uniforms changed so that half way through the year we had to wear blue shirts instead of the white shirts. OK fine. Anyway then they issue a warning that anyone who gets these shirts signed will get in trouble and instead they school would rather wed bring in our old shirts and they could keep them in case anyone needed them in the future. Ok fine.

So I brought in one of the white shirts, got friends to sign it. Got caught with it, got sent to the principle offices! I mean wouldnt ya think they would have said white and blue shirts? When I went to the principles office with it she said “Oh I dont think we can use this Delly, we need the blue shirts” Im like “Im here cause I got people to sign it” and then I get a lecture!

YOU ONLY SAID THE BLUE SHIRTS!

22

I should have previewed, sorry for all the spelling mistakes…

23

This happened to me during a talent show in high school. I was into acting when everyone else was in to rapping.

That BLEW. ASS.

Fuck those asshoes.

24

In 7th grade I would have had a hell of a rant about my gym teacher, who made me and a friend run extra laps in front of the class for talking during the announcements. We weren’t talking. Well, my friend did, and I nodded to reply to whatever she asked me. Another girl was yakking the entire time, though, and he didn’t do anything to her.

See, we were fat, and we “needed it anyway,” he announced to everyone.

His name is Mike Workman and he moved to Oklahoma to teach there. If you see him, tell him I said to kiss my ass.

25

My 8th-grade Algebra teacher, for not accusing me of cheating.

That is, not accusing to my face so I could defend myself. The first I heard about it was when my parents came home from parent-teacher conferences and started giving me hell for a) cheating and b) (worse, in their minds) keeping it a secret from them, since they were both teachers and couldn’t imagine not confronting a student about something like that. She had just waited until the conference to pull out a seating chart and start theorizing which student I had copied from (I would have liked to hear her ideas on that magic bullet, since I got a higher score than anyone around me). In the end, I was allowed to take a new test, on the same material, in an empty room about a month later, and got exactly the same score. She never aplogized (can’t say I really expected her to), she just never spoke to me again, and that was fine by me.

26

10th grade geometry, Mrs. (mumblmumble) (ah hell, her name was Smith. Really.) pulled me aside after class and told me to take off the button I was wearing because it had obscene language on it and was inappropriate.

Stress: the confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately deserves it.

Keep in mind this was printed on a button was about an inch in diameter. You’d have to be leaning into my personal space and staring at my chest to read it. The only reason she knew what it said was she had a coffee mug that said the same thing.
Even at that, it wouldn’t have irked me so much if she hadn’t had to walk past the guy sitting in front of me in the bright orange t-shirt that said

SHOW
ME
YOUR
TITS

in order to pull me aside to tell me my button was inapproriate. I was too startled by the situation to point out the absurdity to her. I just took it off, and pinned it back on as soon as I was out her door.

27

To my 7th grade english teacher that wrote on my paper with a red pen, circling the word *extinguished *: No such word. Even when I could see a Fire Extinguisher on the wall across the hall way, but was too shy to say something about it.

I send you a hearty big " Fuck you."

28

I was an eleventh-grader right at the height of the neo-swing movement. In fact, the high school jazz ensemble I was in was prepping for the winter concerts (one in the evening and a pared-down version for the school during the day), and ordered TWO (!!!) popular swing songs - Zoot Suit Riot, and Jump, Jive an’ Wail (the Brian Setzer version was getting tons of airplay). The band director picked a “real” chorus member to sing Jump, Jive an’ Wail, and then pulled me off the bari sax to do ZSR. I think he actually thought I was just going to get over on personality (I’m a bit quirky - hm, unlike everyone on this board, eh?), but I surprised him by actually having a nice deep voice.

Of course, there was a problem. The lyrics of Zoot Suit Riot contain the phrase “Throw back a bottle of beer.” Clearly, we can’t have high school kids using the word ‘beer,’ because they’ve never, ever seen such a horrible, bitter liquid before! Ow, my virgin ears! They’re burning! I was told, instead, to sing “Throw back a bottle of cheer.” I reasoned with the band director that encouraging freshmen to drink laundry detergent was in fact worse than implicitly condoning alcohol, but to no avail.

I faithfully practiced the “cheer” line in every practice before the evening concert. Then, dressed in a too-big pinstriped jacket and a black leather fedora, I belted out, “THROW BACK A BOTTLE OF BEER!” (Sorry. My heart just wasn’t in that horrible alternate line.) Oh, my, were there big doings. My band director berated me after the concert, warning me of my impending suspension, telling me that I ruined the Jazz Renaissance’s image. He didn’t mind, he told me. But the PEOPLE did.

The next week came and went.

We prepared for the school concert. Dutifully, I practiced the “cheer” line, the band director staring at me the whole time.

School concert. “THROW BACK A BOTTLE OF BEER!” Warning of coming apocalypse, disbanding of Jazz Renaissance. I’ll never sing again. So forth. So on.

A week goes by. During that time, one teacher I have complains openly in my class about “the awful drinking and women in that Zoom Zoom Riot song” - but is too passive-aggressive to complain to me, instead of just trying to make me ashamed.

After that week, the band director calls me to his office early. He tells me, with furrowed brow, that he thinks “there, uh, may be a problem, Tom.” he waves this letter from the principle in which he congratulates us on an excellent performance and includes a throwaway line about being concerned about the freshmen singing along with the lyric, “Throw back a bottle of beer.” I plead the case that the freshmen would have sang “beer” regardless of what rhyme I used, but apparently my smug, “you can’t see me” facial expression belied the fact that I really didn’t give a shit.

“Tom,” he said, “pack your things. I have a feeling you’ve got a week’s suspension coming.”

And that’s the last I ever heard of it.

29

I’d like to pit my 7th grade English teacher, Mr. Williams, of Anderson High School in Cincinnati, Ohio.

First of all, the textbooks we had to use were all torn to shreds and held together with duct tape because they dated from the 1950’s. I took his class in 1997. He refused to get new books because he said the newer books weren’t any good, though I don’t know how we were supposed to learn anything from the books when half of the pages were missing.

If for whatever reason you pissed him off - you didn’t (or couldn’t, because of missing pages) do your homework, you couldn’t recite the vocabulary words or parts of speech the way he liked, whatever - he promised to “take you out back and shoot you.” I wonder if he’s still getting away with this line today. He left at least one girl in tears each day.

He was an umpire for the Cincinnati Reds as well, and his personality was much better suited to that job. Not that he’s perfect for it. I don’t think anyone can get paid to be a withered, bitter old asshole, but if they could, I’d make sure the people hiring got his résumé.

30

It happened to you, too? For me it was “behemoth” and 10th grade, but the story is the same. She also made fun of me in class because I couldn’t find five vocabulary words I didn’t already know in The Scarlet Letter.

31

Don’t understand this at all - you’d think she would have been praising you to the heavens for knowing all the words - wouldn’t you think that this would reflect well on her as a teacher - and in my experience teachers are only too happy to take the credit for things you do well - even if they’ve had no part in them. When I started primary school I could already read and write - my mum taught me - but it didn’t stop the teachers from taking the credit and showing me off to the school inspectors.

32

Some teachers would rather not have the added burden of trying to challenge a student who’s already ahead of the class. It’s so much easier to teach if you can just shove the same pap down everyone’s throat…

33

Well, Brainless, I had a similar experience. I had a summer reading assingment that was due the first day of class. Having already read one of them, I was unable to make any sort of forshadowing. Anyways, I was a little proud of completing the assingment, seeing as none of my friends or anyone else I knew even bothered to read it. (Which my school took care of recently. Now you do not have to write anything, you are just expected to know it by the first day of class regardless of your semester.) Well I got mine back and I got an 84 and 85 because A) my use of vocab “was just too advanced” and B) my “sentences were too complex.” The bitch even took off points for doing too much.

Oh, one more. In 7th grade my teacher left with a stomach cyst or something. This sub came in to take her place. Her name? Ms. Hawk. I currently have only had one B in highschool, but I got a D whenever she took over. I have never even had a C. The reason? She would purposely “lose” my assignments. I would turn work into her two and three times before she would accept it. My mom even blamed me!

34

Ugh… I meant to say that my thoughts were too complex…

35

In early grade school, during the science lesson we were discussing the difference between energy and matter. Some kid said water was a form of energy, because it moves stuff around, like in a river or waterfall. The teacher agreed! I said “No, it’s GRAVITY that’s the energy in those situations.” But I couldn’t convince her that water wasn’t a from of energy… That may have been the first time I disagreed with a teacher and was sure I was right.

In 6th or 7th grade the boys and girls PE classes were playing a weird form of volleybll in a locker room, where we had to stay on our knees, and if we said a word the other team got a point. I hit the ball badly, and it smacked the girl’s PE teacher in the face. I said “sorry”, and the fucking bitch gave the other team a point for me speaking! I should have said, “How many points is worth if I call you the fucking whore-cunt that you are, you syphlitic gorilla-snatch?”

36

We once had to to a collage on any subject listed on a piece of paper (that the teacher typed up).

One of those subjects was evil I naturally thought that would be easy so I did one. Pretty hokey 666, the devil, a skull.

The teacher both called my mother and wrote a letter fearing that I might be a devil worshipper.

If you personally have a problem with someone gluing 666 to a piece of paper you shouldn’t make ‘evil’ a subject.

It was a fun remainder of the class though. The highpoint was when we had to do a book report “based on something true”–her words. I did mine on Say You Love Satan commenting I had no idea a cat skull worked on a Ouija board.

37

My 7th grade social studies teacher, whose name I will not mention, as my mother still works at the school, felt that telling us about how great the Promise Keepers were and how there was “more evidence that Jesus died on the cross than that Napoleon was defeated at Waterloo” was a good use of our class time.

Also, he made us learn this really annoying format for notes that he insisted we’d need for college. Needless to say, I haven’t used it since.

38

When I was in 4th grade, a girl (“Karen” who was in my class left about halfway through the year. But the yearbook still had her picture. So, in my yearbook, I crossed out her picture. Granted, there was no real reason too, but it was my yearbook and I could put what I wanted in it.

Now, this other girl (“Hillary”), who was a friend of Karen’s apparantly saw that I crossed out her picture in my yearbook. She got upset and drew devil horns on my picture, in my yearbook. I can understand that she would’ve been mad, but it was my yearbook. She could’ve done whatever she wanted to her yearbook, but she ruined mine.

So, I decided to talk to a teacher about this. The teacher, instead of punishing Hillary for defacing my book, got mad at me for crossing out Karen’s picture! I actually got punished for this! It made me quite angry at the time.

I don’t blame Hillary too much for this, because she was in 4th grade at the time. But the teacher was an asshole.