The other day I thought about some milestones that rarely get discussed, but nevertheless have a large impact on us.
The list, in roughly chronological order
[ul]
[li]The day you realize your parents have become old[/li][li]The day you realize you are getting old[/li][li]The day you realize your significant other is getting old[/li][/ul]
Any other milestones you have noticed that rarely get mentioned?
I wish all you old people would stay off my lawn!
Go play kick the can somewhere else. (Points to those who get the reference.)
The first time you realize those centerfolds of grown women you used to look at as a kid are now younger than you is a bit of a shocker.
Taking on financial obligations that might outlive you is a bit strange too. The other day I was deciding between a 15, 20 and 30 year mortgage and suddenly realized I might not still be around 30 years from now.
I think when someone begins to transition their retirement investments from agressive to less and less risk that’ll hit home pretty good too.
The day your children start complaining that they’re getting old.
The day you realize you are older than your doctor.
The day you start scrutinizing actors you know are your age to see who looks older, you or them.
The day your kids start coming home with slang that you don’t know yet.
Seems like milestones will naturally involve the passage of time, so these are a variant of the getting old (or folks you know getting old)
realzing that a song/movie/tv show you appreciated as a young adult is to today’s young adult’s the equivalent of something much older to you. An example: Seinfled is to today’s teens and young adults what MASH* was to me. Or Smells Like Teen Spirit is the temporal equivalent to what Riki Don’t Lose that Number was
To a sports fan, the milestones include:
The moment you realize that some of those pro baseball, football and basketball players are younger than you.
The moment you you find yourself saying that an athlete younger than you is “Over the hill.”
The first time you see the SON of one of your favorite athletes playing pro sports.
The moment you realize there are guys younger than you playing in the annual “Old-Timers Day” game.
I am in the process of putting together a will and that makes me feel pretty old.
Or in musical terms…
I’m 48, so I was a senior in high school in 1979. Thnk of when you were a senior in high school.
To a current high school senior, Led Zeppelin is about as current as Bing Crosby was to me. And the Beatles are Al Jolson.
Filling out the paperwork to tell your employer who to send your last paycheck to if you croak. That was creepy. (Though, as a Fed, I was tempted to tell them to send it to the Cato Institute as a lark.)
Actually Led Zep seems pretty hot with the in young crowd right now, as I’m told…
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• First time you really understood that your parents had sex in order to have you. (eww)
• First time you realized that your parents had sex for fun. (EWWW)
• First time your kid comes to you all starry-eyed about some boy/girl.
• First time someone calls you sir/ma’am (as Homer put it, “Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’”)
Losing your last grandparent. Losing your first (or both) parent(s).
Re-buying household goods because the first bunch you bought has worn out (sheets, towels, sofa, toaster, etc.)
Your very first chronic health condition.
Bifocals.
The day you realize that, holy crow, you really have troubles making out the fine print.
When your mom stops reminding you to always use birth control and starts badgering you for grandkids.
Twilight Zone the Movie. How many points do I get, and what can I do with them?
Realizing I am basically “middle management”.
In 1999, I couldn’t recognize a single song from that years Billboard Top-10 (of the year) by title. Not saying I wouldn’t have recognized the tune, if played to me
In 2007, I couldn’t recognize (by title) a single song from any of the artists in the Billboard Top-10.
(Actually, it was just a couple of weeks ago that I found out that Justin Timberlake and Timbaland are not the same person or somehow related. I was of the (ill-formed) opinion that “Timbaland” was Justin Timberlake’s production company or something).
The day you look at an old family photograph and realize that your parents were really** young** back when you thought they were really old.
That first sentence in my last post should read:
“In 1999, I couldn’t recognize a single song from that years Billboard Top-10 (of the year) by title. Not saying I wouldn’t have recognized the tune, if played to me, but I wasn’t able to place a tune to the title.”
I dunno, I’ve been calling my kids sir/ma’am since they were toddlers.