I found this article quite useful, and will be using chopsticks to retrieve my toast and bagels from now on. Thanks! 
uhh
do not use those cute Korean metal chopsticks. 
Welcome to the SDMB, Jessie.
A link to the Staff Report you’re commenting on is appreciated. Providing a link can be as simple as pasting the URL into your post, making sure to leave a blank space on either side of it. Like so: http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mtoaster.html
Unplug it and you can use anything you want to dig in the toaster. You might damage it though.
Go for it … i wanna see what happens 
Electrocution is very easily accomplished around the home!
The toaster scenario would be a bit of a stretch, but it could happen. Probably has. It would entail the unfortunate toast enthusiast to be simultaneously grounded to earth - with a standard lineoleum/lumber floor, not likely. Perhaps if touching a metal sink, or radiator, window frame?