I hate the meaningless “working with”.
“We’re working with our vendors to clear up the issue.”
Translation: Somebody in our office called up somebody in their office and said “We need to do something about that.”
“Yep, you’re right.”
“Paradigm” is a good example of a perfectly good word, explaining a perfectly good concept, that has virtually lost all meaning because of mis-use by people who don’t actually know what it means. To shift your paradigm is a very interesting thing; it means that you have actually changed how you look at the world due to new information that you hadn’t previously considered. Einstein shifted paradigms with his Theory of Relativity. Stephen Hawking shifted paradigms with his Chaos Theory. It is highly unlikely that you will get your paradigm shifted by the annual corporate review or anything that goes on in weekly meetings.
As for the “buzz-memes”, most people don’t realize that the best writing and speaking is done as clearly and simply as possible.
If someone who uses phrases like “reach out” isn’t speaking to you any more, is that a bad thing, Cervaise?
You mean other than PHB?
It has to be subtle enough that the PHB won’t catch on. Not that most PHBs have a clue in the first place.
Since Cervaise was leaning forward on this, let’s have Cervaise take the action item. Cervaise, why don’t you socialize this within your team, give the home office some reachback, and then make sure nobody has any go-backs. This really seems like a motherhood discussion, so I don’t expect anything more than happy-to-glads on this. If all I hear are heads nodding, then we’ll declare victory and draft some talking points for the pre-meeting. Cervaise, I hope the tasker’s pretty clear – get with me offline, and we’ll come up with a good suspense for you. cards was really shoulder-to-shoulder with me on this – it’s clearly a parking-lot issue, so let’s keep the crosstalk down and re-baseline to something that’s value-added.
Mmmmkay?
Jurph, I’m glad we’re on the same page with that. Thanks for dialoguing.
Now that our meeting for out of the box thinking on how to shift our paradigms has filled up our parking lot, it’s time for a biology break.
Let’s run it up the butthole to see who shoots.
Shhh! No! Shut up! I’m trying to fly below the radar here! If they catch me, I’ll be deported to the normal world and not make nearly as much money. Do NOT blow my cover!!
Oh my bleeding eyes!!
…and now that we’re back from our biology break, we need to have a level-set.
I could go on and on and on…sad isn’t it?
Let’s do lunch.
How did they come up with the name “Human Resources” when they are neither human nor a resource? :rolleyes: I liked them better when they were “Personnel”, and they were there for the employee. Now they just treat employees like walking lawsuits and everything is DIY.
Well yes, but it sounds more friendly than “personnel”, so you don’t squeal as loud when they bend you over. “Human Resources” makes it sound as if they give a damn.
Sorry folks. I saw some paradigms in the parking lot, but I biology broke on them. 
Cervaise is the love-child of Dave Barry and Dilbert. I’m convinced of this.
Tell him you’ll add a nickle to make a quarter. Then, when he still has the stunned look trying to figure itout, rush at him screaming “No quarter shall be granted!!!” and just put him out of his misery.
And Jurph, that was absolutely perfect. Thanks for the laugh.
Well said, duffer (referring to the first line of your post).
Cervaise, I would like to take this opportunity to speak in a straightforward manner, and tell you that your OP was a classic. I am going to file it in my collection right next to The Telemarketer Speaks; I Respond.
Thank you for brightening my day with that.
I would HAVE to put him out of his misery after that. Otherwise, someone might find him in a corner in the conference room muttering something about how I’d moved his CHEESE.
The business world seems to be full of sh. . . ahem, stuff like this. If I hear “grow” used as an active verb again I may actually choke someone. “We’re going to grow our market sha-- Ack!”
No wonder I have a hard time teaching English when the language a lot of Japanese have contact with is “gansta” and business-speak, not actual English.
Gosh, so many of these phrases are new to me, and no doubt I shall use them to the full in my workplace. But the one I like most is in the OP title. ‘Finger my stinking dungeye’… boss.