Real estate marketing: "2 sleeps and 3 washes"

They should not have needed a ‘professional stager’ to tell them to do this; people have been doing it for years. That and packing up as much as you can and still live in the house to make it look more spacious. It doesn’t “fool” anyone, it just gives people fewer reasons to think ‘no’.

But that makes sense, as it dates from pay-by-the-line newspaper ads.

Unlike “For the aspiring culinary aficionado consider the option of a chef cook, …”. What person that uses aspiring, culinary, and aficionado would call a kitchen (area) a “cook”?

My guess is that almost everybody does. Although “think” is not really the right word. When you first walk into a house, if the living-room walls are bright red, the first thing you will notice is the bright red walls. When you think about that house afterwards, you will remember “the house with the red living room”. The colour of the walls is almost entirely irrelevant to the buyer, and yet it is the first and lasting impression. Similarly, a viewer will easily be distracted by books, decorations or other features that create a positive or negative impression.

BBC America used to have a show called House Doctor, which featured an American woman who staged houses in the UK. You might think that the homeowners could have made the changes on their own, but these are usually houses that have gone unsold. Sometimes, the problems with the house are obvious even to the casual viewer. (Like the house with hunting trophies all over the walls.) Once the house is changed following the advice of the show’s host, it usually sells fairly quickly.

That ad looks like it was written by a person for whom English is not their first language, or (more likely) someone who’s trying to be really cutesy.

I’m assuming a craft area/office?

I have never heard of these terms, but I grew up in a resort town in the Mid-Atlantic U.S. The summer population is 50-60 times the year-round, and seasonal rentals (by the week or entire season, typically) are big business and make up the majority of the local classifieds. It’s also very common for 10 people to rent a house for the summer (as long as it “sleeps 10”). So, I’ve been used to seeing “sleeps 6” for 20+ years. Never seen “6 sleeps” though. If it’s anything like the “sleeps #” in vacation/seasonal rental properties, “3 sleeps” is probably 1 bedroom with a closet.

We used to have a spacious cook in our kitchen, but she kept getting stuck between the sink and the island.

You’re going to real estate hell for saying realtor and not Realtor™.

We got a great house for a steal because of this. We walked in and it was a mess. Previous owners had somehow gotten a huge sofa into the living room, then turned it diagonally so it filled up the room and you could barely get by it. Huge bookcases stuck out into what should have been a formal dining room and the kitchen was likewise barely usable.

My wife thought “unsalvageable” and wanted to leave, but I mentally removed the sofa, the huge CRT TV and the bookcases, ripped up the threadbare carpeting (and the curled-up olive drab linoleum in the kitchen), patched and painted the walls… and it looked pretty good. And worth almost twice as much as they were asking. (Don’t ask, you’d just kick yourself for not getting to it first…)

I had to say “Look, I’m a designer. I imagine things for a living. Trust me.” And for once, the wife did.

(Made an offer on the spot and they accepted)

And pronouncing it “re-ul-tur” instead of “re-ul-TOR”.