Hey, ad people-- words mean things!!!

For a while they ran a commercial in these parts for hot sauce that wasn’t hot. Which, of course, makes it. . . sauce. That commercial used to piss me off. But then they stopped playing it and my upset became just set.

Then there’s the one for some sort of diet frozen food in which one chef tells the other the reason their frozen crap is so delicious is that she’s “added flavor to taste.” What the fuck does that even mean? Will she be adding sound to noise next? Touch to feel?

And no, do not try to convince me she’s added salt to taste, or pepper to taste because chefs in a lab concocting frozen garbage cannot add spices to anyone’s taste but their own and they sure as hell cannot add fucking ‘flavor’ to it.
But the one that plays all the time in my neck of the woods, the one that gets me so upset I yell obsenities at the TV whenever it plays-- and it plays often-- goes like this:

Two couples playing Scrabble. One person puts down the word ‘you’. The next person says, “I’ll build on that word,” and sets down the letters n e f c u. Another alert Scrabble player says, “Hey, that’s not a word-- and you’re a teacher!”

Then, the worlds most retarded teacher says-- I swear she says this, “Yes it is a word. It’s pronounced nefque and it STANDS FOR Nassau Educators Federal Credit Union.”


O.K., I surrender. I’m gonna go add some hot nefcu flavor to taste.

But do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?


Do it while watching Tru-TV: “It’s not Reality. It’s Actuality!”

“I’ve got sonic hearing!”

It’s more of a grammatical - or even just stylistic - irritation, but every time I hear the legendary “like a Spackle or paste” colon cleanse commercial, it irritates me when the narrator changes tense to, “And ladies, do you ever have this bloated feeling?” It should be THAT.

Can I have the deluxe version of this thread?

Not only is it not a word, but acronyms aren’t allowed in Scrabble. I can stand a dumb teacher, but never will I allow a Scrabble cheat to go free.

Trust me when I say: to the vast, vast majority of advertising and marketing people I have ever met or worked with, words do NOT mean things. Demographics mean things, purchase response means things, but words mean NOTHING.

And yes, this makes me angry.

Hey, I want some of that not sauce! Any idea where I can buy it for a discount of up to twenty to thirty percent or more?

“It’s not fast food. It’s Wendy’s.”

Who ironically has some of the fastest food delivery times I’ve seen lately.

Thank you for this hot flavorful noisy rant. You rock!

Sur steeliness cabochon diagonal involve motivated pop heads thick.

This bloated feeling, I guess, as opposed to those other bloated feelings.

There was some stupid-ass burger commercial a while back for a shitty chain that had this jackass “chef” in his tall fucking paper hat telling me his new burger, “eats like steak, but cuts like butter”.

Eats like steak? How in the fuck does steak eat? Do you mean tastes like steak you asshole? And cuts like butter? You’re cutting your burger? Howabout, “our new burgers are tender and taste like a steak”.


It didn’t happen, it in the state of happening!!!

Soooo much better than aural hearing. Add to this my visual seeing and I’m like a superhero!

I taste good. (like a old woman should) Takeoff on old Winston commercial.

Commercials like that make me want to throw in the ShamWow.

Heheh. I keep seeing ‘soft eating cakes’ on packs of imported Dutch baked goods. Soft Eating Cakes? What? As opposed to Soft Throwing Cakes or something?