This looks similar to something that I saw before about scheduling cross country teams into meets. The solution for 12 teams was a special case of a solution for 16 teams. It was done in 5 separate groupings, where each team met each team once. For the diners problem, it would look something like this:
Month 1
1, 2, 3, 4
5, 6, 7, 8
9, 10, 11, 12
13, 14, 15, 16
Month 2
1, 5, 9, 13
2, 6, 11, 16
3, 7, 12, 14
4, 8, 10, 15
Month 3
1, 6, 10, 14
2, 5, 12, 15
3, 8, 11, 13
4, 7, 9, 16
Month 4
1, 7, 11, 15
2, 8, 9, 14
3, 5, 10, 16
4, 6, 12, 13
Month 5
1, 8, 12, 16
2, 7, 10, 13
3, 6, 9, 15
4, 5, 11, 14
This can be modified for 12 people by crossing off numbers 13 through 16. If only 12 people are used, then month 1 would have 3 groupings of 4 couples. After that, the meetings would be 4 groupings of 3 couples. I didn’t put down who hosts each meeting, but some couples would have to host more than once and it wouldn’t be even. For 12 people, there would need to be 19 hosts. Even for 16 couples, there would need to be 20 hosts.
Note that Box, Hunter, and Hunter’s Design of Experiments gives no balanced incomplete block designs for 12 treatments. So trying to evenly distribute 12 people is not possible, except maybe a degenerate solutions of every possible combination.