Let’s assume that SubSuperMan is real.
Reaction #1: The media goes insane.
The immediate reaction is of stunned disbelief. Photos and video are constantly rewound and replayed and scanned to the utmost degree in order to decide whether or not this is some sort of hoax.
After several more sightings of SubSuperMan, the media pulls into three groups. The first group is the ‘debunkers.’ For reasons of skepticism, disbelief, or insane jealousy, they constantly campaign that SSM is a hoax, he’s a faker, it’s all been faked, SSM is just a publicity stunt. Group Two begins idol-worship of SSM, following him around, shouting out questions at SSM, begging for press conferences. Group Three, seeing themselves as the new Woodward and Bernstiens, jump in to try and unmask SSM. For the next few years, the public is bombarded by ‘exposes’ about SSM, inimate views of SSM from co-workers and friends, etc. None of these views or statements are particularly flattering, and if SSM doesn’t really have many dirty secrets, some of the less scrupulous media members either make facts up, or don’t bother to do fact-checking on some of the sleazeballs trying to pretend that they ‘really know’ SSM.
Reaction #2: The World Governments go insane.
Even a bush-leage Superman could be a great military force, and so every country that can afford to throws resources into finding out who SSM really is. Now, when SSM isn’t dodging reporters throwing themselves into desperate situations in order to have five minutes to interview SSM (“You’ve just saved my life! How does that make you feel?”), he has to save innocent people from having been kidnapped by less scrupulous countries’ intelligence organizations who hope to blackmail SSM into supporting them.
Reaction #3: The Businesses move in.
Eventually, one of the major advertising corporations realizes that SSM is a gold mine who can’t defend himself. He’s a perfect trademark(“The Soft Drink Of Superheros!”) who can’t trademark himself of defend himself in court without revealing his true identity. Suddenly, SSM and SSM imitators are everywhere, hawking clothes, drinks, cars, etc. Then, suddenly, post-modernism sets in and a new round of commercials mocking SSM and SSM-supported devices comes in. Then, suddenly, the entire SSM craze is dead and SSM couldn’t get his face on the cover of Rolling Stone if he decided to join Limp Bizkit.
Reaction #4: SSM himself.
After trying to save people, SSM comes to a sudden realization.
For every person SSM saves, another two die, and there’s nothing he can do about it. But rather than being lauded for what he does, he’s always attacked for what he didn’t do (“Next on Oprah- I was in a Train Accident, why the Hell didn’t SSM save me?”). Not to mention all the nutcases who jump blow up bridges and hold people hostage just for the chance to meet SSM. And now parent’s advocacy groups are claiming that SSM’s reckless actions are causing young children to jump out of buildings in order to be like SSM. And the press are everywhere in his home town, because they’ve traced his secret identity that far, and it won’t be long before his aged, meek parents are about to be discovered and thrown to the media lions. And kids, rather than idolizing him, are laughing at him and the old values he represents or his fading public image.
Summoning every last bit of his strength, SSM flies around the world, turning back time, until he reaches the point where he was about to save that plane full of hostages. And he intercepts his younger self and says, “It just ain’t worth it.”
And the world ends up never knowing about SSM.
JMCJ
This is not a sig.