“We’ve been looking for the enemy for some time now. We’ve finally found him. We’re surrounded. That simplifies things.”
- Chesty Puller during the Battle of Chosin Reservoir
The Twelve-Year Reich has several examples of jokes told by Extermination Camp inmates referring to their fate.
Audie Murphy while calling in artillery fire on the rapidly advancing Germans finally called in fire on his own position. On the other end of the radio the fire direction control asked how close the enemy was. “If you just hold the phone a minute, I’ll let you talk to one of the bastards.”
R.E.Lee supposedly said “strike the tents” at his death.
An infantry sergeant during World War II, urging his pinned-down men to keep moving, supposedly said, “Come on, you SOBs! Do you want to live forever?”
George Washington was a chipper badass under fire at the Battle of Princeton: Battle of Princeton - Wikipedia
That’s widely attributed earlier. Specifically to then Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daley, USMC at the Battle of Belleau Wood during WWI. A quote like that from a two time Medal of Honor winner probably got repeated any number of times in battles since then.
According to Plutarch, Julius Caesar was captured by Cilician pirates in 75 B.C. and held for ransom. When told they were asking 20 talents, Caesar said it was too low; ask for 50. He joined their games as if he was their leader. He composed speeches and poetry that he read to them and if they didn’t like it, he told them they were ignorant. He told them that when he was freed, he would have them crucified. They laughed but after 38 days the ransom was paid and Caesar released. Although he was a private citizen, Caesar quickly raised an army, captured the pirates who didn’t take his warning seriously and recovered the 50 talents of silver. Caesar had the pirates crucified instead of sold into slavery but in an act of kindness slit their throats instead.
Rodney Dangerfield, telling the press how long he’d be hospitalized for his (ultimately fatal) brain surgery:
“If all goes well, about a week. If not, about an hour and a half.”
BG (later MG) Dutch Cota was one of the highest ranking soldiers on Omaha beach when he landed with the 2nd wave of the 29th infantry division. He is credited for rallying the troops and pushing them off the beach.
Cota: “What outfit is this?”
Someone yelled, “5th Rangers!”
Cota: “Well, God damn it then, Rangers, lead the way!”
“Rangers lead the way" became the motto of the U.S. Army Rangers.
He is also credited with saying "Gentlemen, we are being killed on the beaches. Let us go inland and be killed.“
Also on Omaha beach Colonel George Taylor said, “There are only two kinds of people who are staying on this beach: those who are already dead and those that are gonna die. Now get off your butts, you’re the fightin’ 29th.”
I recall John Ritter making some lighthearted quips right before he was wheeled into the operating room in which he died.
Just before a serious thyroid surgery, and shot full of sedatives, Isaac Asimov composed the poem:
Doctor, Doctor, in your green coat.
Doctor, Doctor, cut my throat
And when you’ve cut it, Doctor, then
Won’t you sew it up again?
Capt Lloyd W. Williams, commander 51st Company, 2d Battalion, 5th Marines, after being sent to support the French army during the Battle of Belleau Wood, found the French in full retreat. After being advised to withdraw by a French colonel, he replied, “Retreat, hell! We just got here.”
Does it count when the death is by old age or protracted disease, when the quipper had plenty of time to come up with something memorable, or is this just for the spur of the moment?
Does it count when the death is by old age or protracted disease, when the quipper had plenty of time to come up with something memorable, or is this just for the spur of the moment?
That was a line from a movie that he quoted.
When asked if he had any last words at his hanging, outlaw Cherokee Bill said, “I came here to die, not make a speech”.
It was still a good line for the moment and I have to give him credit for coming up with it at the time.
Lt. Harry “Breaker” Morant is said to have shouted to his firing squad, “Shoot straight, you bastards! Don’t make a mess of it!”
If you believe St. Lawrence is real then
“I think that side is done, turn me over”
counts.
Some fine examples here:
Some listed there have already been mentioned in this thread.