How do they train deer to recognize those deer crossing signs?
Why don’t the Israelis and the Palestinians just stop for a moment and ask themselves — what would Jesus do?
If the core of the earth is so dense… why doesn’t it sink to the bottom?
I swear I’m not making this up:
“Do you think my auto insurance company will give me a discounted rate if I buy a radar detector, since it’ll help me avoid tickets?”
:smack:
To a co-worker who was standing in my way as I was trying to work, and I asked her to move aside a bit so I could reach something…
she stands there, and I ask her again, to which she responds…
" Oh. I thought you were asking the wall to move!"
I didn’ know what to say to that!
I used to be the office manager of a small mortgage company. Joy of joys, it was my job to answer the phone.
Guy: I heard that collection accounts drop off your credit report after 7 years.
Me: That’s true.
Guy: So, I have an account that’s almost 7 years old. Should I pay it?
Why, no, sir, why don’t you just go buy a house and not pay the mortgage? After seven years of not paying, it’ll be free and clear!
This was from a recent Jay Leno “Headlines.” I was a question that someone wrote in to their local newspaper.
If you want to see it, go here and click on the section “P.Diddy makes a pact with the devil.”