really stupid stuff you can't do

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#21

That is hereditary. Don’t sweat it, babe.

I cannot whistle, nor roll my Rs, nor see the stereograms. Apparently, I’m worthless.

#22

I can’t do the “five toe spread”. All babies can (pretty much), so I just figured it was something that we lost over time. Apparently not so. Mrs. Spritle can do the FTS at will - with both feet!!

#23

I can only do THREE of the “stupid things you can’t do” list so far! Those are: using my left arm to open a door, roll my R, and being able to spread my toes!!!

Jeez, just to recap, here’s a current list of things I can’t do, but should be able to do:

can’t roll tongue
make a Donald Duck voice
blow bubblegum bubbles
whistle
see stereograms (magic eye thangs)
snap my fingers
recite the USA national anthem (that goes for my national anthem too!)
touch my toes
do the Vulcan sign thing from Star Trek

I don’t know what a cartwheel is, but I probably can’t do it. If it’s that thing where you jump on the ground and roll over your head; then NO, I can’t even do that! (got bad gymnastics grades as a kid, I tell ya…)
Gee… I guess I’m sorta below average on this one :frowning:

— G. Raven

#24

Genetic trait or not, I can’t roll my tongue, but both of my parents can. Sigh
I can’t see those stereogram things either, and I’ve practically made myself cross-eyed trying.
I can’t touch my toes, but I can do the 5-toe spread.
I can’t make a Donald Duck noise, nor do the Vulcan thing with my fingers.
I can whistle, but only two notes (don’t ask, I don’t know).

#25

Funny. I’m able to make the Vulcan salute gesture AND the mindmelt without even thinking, and I’m not even a Star Trek fan.

#26

I can’t whistle with my fingers in my mouth. Sad, really.

I can’t snap with my left hand.

I’ve been able to see stereograms but only on my monitor at http://www.magiceye.com. The trick for me was to get really close to the monitor until my eyes got tired and started to un-focus from fatigue. From there, I slowly backed up and voila!

#27

Hey! Me, too! I thought “whistle” before I even opened the thread!

Mr. Athena keeps trying to teach me, but apparantly whistling is a genetic ability along with tongue-rolling (which I can do, I’m happy to report.) I’ll never be able to do it.

#28
  • Can’t whistle. But I can snap my fingers – right hand only.
  • Can’t roll my tongue into a little “U”
  • Can barely swim, but not really
  • Can’t raise one eyebrow at a time.
  • Can’t throw, hit, or catch any ball. In fact, I can’t play any sport requiring an extension of one’s arm, so if there’s a bat or racquet or club or something involved… forget it. I won’t be playing.
  • Can’t carry a tune. Completely tone deaf. But I love to sing – horribly and loudly. In the car. With no passengers!
  • Can’t to a cartwheel. But I can touch my toes.
#29

I can’t roll my Rs - good thing I took French instead of Spanish. Along that same vein, I can’t “trill” my tongue - it’s like when people continually roll their tongue - and it sort of flaps against the roof of their mouth. Can’t do it. Don’t understand how anyone does.

I can sort of snarl and curl up the left side of my upper lip but there’s no way I can do it with the right side of my upper lip. Just doesn’t work.

I also can not bend simply my 4th (ring) finger alone. If I hold out my hand and try to bend it, my middle finger and eventually my pinky finger curl with it. I know that has to do with tendons, etc - but it still bugs me.

Tibs

#30

I can do most of the things mentioned earlier in this thread, although I went to the magic eye and could not see the stereograms on my monitor maybe its the flickering or maybe I have lost that ability, but I can not cut paper with scissors in a straight line to save my life. When I cut wrapping paper for Christmas presents it looks like a 4 year old did it.

#31

There have been lots of posts about magic eye stereograms. I couldn’t do it for a long time, and when I finally did see one for the first time, it was INVERTED!! The airplane that was supposed to protrude in front of the background was instead recessed BEHIND it. Now I can see them normally, but can’t repeat the inverted experience.

#32

I can’t whistle with my fingers in my mouth either, and it really bugs me.

I couldn’t do the Vulcan sign until my dad told me I had to relax my pinky and let the ring finger push it. Now I can do it easily, with either hand.

The only way I can see Magic Eye posters is if they are framed and I can look at my reflection in the glass. When I try to focus on the reflection, the picture jumps out, and then I can focus on it.

#33

Here’s my story…

Many years ago, I got a stereogram book. I learned to see the images by crossing my eyes. And, you know what? That works. Except I get the inverted phenomenon jebert described. I had some little ASCII images using the {code} tag, so I could show exactly what was happening graphically, but I got rid of them because it always showed it double-spaced, and the pictures looked stupid (anyone know how I can get single-spaced fixed-length text in messages?)

Anyway, I got the right image, just inverted. The kicker? I thought this was the right way to do it. For 4 years. I kep thinking “Damn, I know it’s possible to do it the other way, why don’t they just invert the image, so that things that stick out in front recede and things that are in the back stick out in front!?” I never got it, until a few months ago. And I still can’t see them the right way!

#34

I can’t ride a bike. I never learned. I’m the only healthy red-blooded american kid I know who didn’t learn.

#35

I can’t do the thing where you stroke your chest up and down with one hand and make circles with the other hand at the same time. Both hands will start making some intermediate movement.

I also have absolutely no sense of rhytm. When I see some African drum i always try it (can’t help it). But I cant even make a rhytm of two beats.

What I can do, though, and it has really come in handy during years of experiments with make-up, is to close one eye (not squint, but close in a relaxed way) and keep the other eye open. Neat when applying eyeliner, huh? :wink:

#36

Oh my God! I’ve never been able the do the Vulcan thing, but I just did!! Woohoo! It still sort of hurts, but it looks cool! :cool:

To add to this list, I cannot whistle in key. I cannot sing in key. If you played a “c” note, I would have no idea what it was and I would be completely incapable of repeating it. I really suck. :frowning:

I can’t play the recorder. You know, those things everyone played in seventh grade chorus? I managed to ace Chorus for five years throughout middle and high school without ever singing in key or actually playing the recorder. I just wanted an easy class.

I can’t find the beat unless I’m at a club listening to techno or electronica. Unless the beat is really strong, I’m lost.

I used to be able to suck in the corners of my mouth so the middle of my lips stuck out, but I can’t do that anymore.

I can ride a bike, but not without holding the handlebars. In my neighborhood, you had to do without arms to be really cool.

I can’t do the Cartman voice. I try and try, I recite the script verbatim (“Why don’t you stop dressing me up like the mailman and making me dance for you while you go smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don’t even know in my Dad’s bed!”). I just don’t sound anything like him.

I hate stereograms too. I would stare for hours and walk away half blind but I could never ever see the stupid pictures.

#37

Now I’m curious: what’s the most unusual thing you CAN do?

  • I can program a VCR. ANY VCR.

  • I can handle a CD or DVD without staining it with digitals.

  • I can remember a lot of the stupid things I did, heard and saw when I was a wee tot, but now I have a terrible short-term memory, especially when I’m absent-minded or distracted.

  • I can hypnotize cats. I kid you not. I can make my cats sleep just by looking at em. Without blinking.

  • I can make any piece of machinery behave just applying a nice kick.

  • I can make funny accents, but I’m completely unable to mask my voice. Speaking in a low tone or in falsetto, everybody recognizes it.

  • Can can survive without food or sleep for hours, If I want.

  • Not meaning to be rude, I can apply oral suction in my own manhood.

#38

The other stuff is cool, but you could join the circus with that!

#39

Oh yeah. Right between the clowns and the trapeze guys. Children will love it. NOT!

#40

Hey, weird! I had a dream that I was doing that just last night! I remember being mortally afraid that I would break my neck, like in “Clerks” :wink:

— G. Raven

p.s. oh, and Merry Xmas ya’ll!