really stupid stuff you can't do

My wife, bless her soul, can’t whistle. I can whistle any song ever written, using various techniques: the traditional “round mouth” way, the lesser-known “inhale under the tongue” method, the “fingers in the mouth” method, and so on. Myself, I can’t do the Star Trek Vulcan peace sign (where you separate your first two fingers from your ring finger and pinky finger. I’ve NEVER seen an episode of Star Trek, but I’ve seen the sign…). I know HOW it’s done; it’s just that my finger will NOT DO THE MOTION.

What are some pointless, useless things that you still feel bad that you can’t do, just because other people can?

Damn. I read the title, hadn’t even gotten to the OP and thought, “whistle”.
It isn’t for lack of trying, either; tried every method known, in childhood and beyond.
Still just can’t damned do it!


I can’t snap my fingers.
It looks so damn easy, but I could never do it.

I always wanted to bend my thumb back far enough to touch my wrist. I tried, lord knows I tried…

I can’t do a cartwheel.

I can’t touch my toes.

Wow, not snapping your fingers sucks.
Nothing I enjoy more than snapping my fingers yelling “fix me a chicken pot-pie”

of course I live alone and the dogs refuse to cook, but it mindless entertainment.


I can start to sing the national anthem in public and then forget the words. How stupid is that? :eek:

I’m completely unable to see the hidden images in those 3-D weird graphics that were a must some years ago. There’s one of those forgethisnames in Mallrats.

I can’t roll my tongue. :frowning:

But I can whistle, with my mouth and with my fingers in my mouth! :smiley:

Up until around last year I couldn’t snap my fingers. Then I magically became able to after watching Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreacoat. It was odd.

I can’t do this in the opposite direction.

I can’t whistle either, but mostly I can’t do anything with my left hand. It’s got a problem and I can’t open door knobs or much more than hold a fork with the wrong grip.
Since it looks almost ok people think I’m be lazy when I say “could you get the door?” but I don’t want to explain and then have to face it all the time.

Uniball - Those were “stereograms”. Here’s how they worked: you focused your eyes on two dots at the top of the pages, gradually unfocused your eyes until the dots appeared to meet, then looked back at the stereogram. Or so I’ve heard, because I’ve never, ever gotten one of the goddam things to work either. And I tried, man, I tried.

Oh yeah, I can’t whistle or snap my fingers either.

I tried EVERYTHING, including the damn dots, to no avail. I’m stereogram-blind.

I can’t…

(uh oh, childhood-based neuroses welling up inside me)

… blow bubblegum bubbles. I’m sure it’s easy and I could do it nowadays, but at some point when I was a child I just gave up and told everyone that I hated the taste of gum (not true). Haven’t tried it in years!

I can’t see the stereograms either.
I can’t whistle really loud with my fingers in my mouth.
I can’t split wood, even kindling.

Can’t see stereograms. Can’t do a cartwheel.

Hey, the stereogram inability is a good one; I had the same thing happen. Also, when I’ve tried to watch a 3D movie (or watch the 3D graphics on Kiss’s “Psycho Circus” tour), that doesn’t work either. Maybe my eyes are just screwed up.

Not from lack of talent: that’s a genetic trait. IIRC, recessive.

I cannot, for the life of me, roll my R’s.

I cannot make the ‘Donald Duck’ voice.