Just got this email from my credit card company:
Oooooohhhhh…THAT’S what that means! Wow, thanks for explaining that.
Mundane and pointless, but I’m way too tired to function right now, and this kind of combination of patronizing talking down, combined with marketing spin designed to make even the simplest fact sound like some sort of big…amazing…thing (more power than EVER!!!) pisses me right the hell off.
I have to go collect fruit fly ovaries.
Forget everything else you just said, this is my new “goodbye”.
Do fruit flies use credit cards? What would be the credit line if they did?
FEEL THE POWER!!!
You know what they say. Power corrupts, and credit-line increases corrupt absolutely.
That’s the other thing - I never carry a balance. I pay it off in full every month. This is because I’m desperately poor, and the thought of carrying more debt than I have to terrifies me. I never hit my old limit. I’m certainly not going to go out and spend more now. Oh, well, whatever.
Now I have to go wash my ovaries.
And we have an even better sign-off. 
That’s not what it means, anyway - it means that they have increased your ability to get into debt, not your buying power. Jerks.
I have a lovely sample in my kitchen if you’re interested. :mad:
Theoretically, this (the credit line, not the clean ovaries) should improve your credit rating because your utilization will be a lot lower. Other than that, do as you’re doing: roll your eyes, ignore, and continue doing unspeakable things to fruit flies. :).
I believe that the cleanliness of one’s ovaries is indeed part of the FICO score computation.
I so want to believe that.
Yeah, but just try paying your bill with fruit fly ovaries, clean or no.
~VOW
I guess you could argue that they aren’t unspeakable, since he’s speaking about them.
This was a humorous post. That means that you are funnier than ever.
The good thing about fruit flies is that you can be rid of them in 24 hours.
Seriously, though, these days, a lot of cardholders are having their credit lines shrunk, for no apparent reason. So, your bank seems to think you are a good bet.
I assume you are doing lab work. Fruit flies make good research critters, because they have short lives and quick reproductive turnovers.
Perhaps because they know he’ll never use it? So they get to make the customer feel valued, without the risk.
Please tell me how. I cleaned the kitchen spotless and set out a bowl of apple cider vinegar with some dish soap, and while some fell for it, there are still a bunch of them flitting around MY kitchen!
I think he’s referring to the fact that certain types of flies only have a 24 hour lifespan*.
EDIT:
*As evidenced by this educational video.
Why? We have perfectly good (and clean) fruit fly ovaries to talk about! We don’t need to be serious!
Gotta run…I have to go bronze my spider legs.
Which leads me to ask…do spiders have testicles? And if they do, does it give them increased purchasing power?
For what it’s worth, my score has been going steadily up ever since I had my ovaries removed.
I believe that the doctor had them incinerated after a period of time, but I’m not sure, and I never really cared enough to ask.