Reasons why God...

par example:
…would never get Tenure at a University:

  1. He had only one publication.
  2. It was in Hebrew.
  3. He never went to the Ethics board for approval to use human subjects.

etc.; You get the point.

Need answers:

…would make a lousy husband:

…would make a lousy wife:

…wouldn’t even want a Klondike Bar:

Please continue as you see fit.


Reason why God would make a lousy wife…
Generally Judeo-Christian theology holds God to be male, not female…

…never lift a rock that was so big…

Hey, ow, stop it, alright, I’m sorry.

…never tell you what the third rhyming word was…
Ooh wrong thread sorry…

Reason why God would never ever want a Klondike bar:

  1. You eat all those sacrifices for thousands of years, tell me you want that chocolate migrating to your hips.

Reasons why God would be a lousy husband:

  1. He knowingly let his own kid get killed*
  2. His Dick IS So Big.
  3. No divorce
  4. That prenup would be Hell.
  5. When have you ever, single, woken up and noticed all the dishes were done, or the place was vacuumed, or the trash was taken out? He never does housework.

Reasons why God would be a bad researcher:

  1. His only work was completely devoid of citations or references. Hell, he didn’t even acknowledge those who helped Him write the damned thing!
  2. “Because I say so” not a valid defense of PhD work.

*joke. totally. :slight_smile: