Reassure me (dog euthanasia warning)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Or tell me I’m wrong, I guess.

My first dog, a lab mix, made it to 14. He was the best. Towards the end, he had a cyst growing at the base of his tail. We dutifully took him to our vet, who gave us the expected, “old dogs get stuff like this, if it’s not bothering him let’s let it be”. Eventually that cyst grew to be the size of a softball and ruptured. At this point the vet said they’d have to remove his whole tail, that the recovery would be really hard on him. He had bad hips and couldn’t see or hear well. It was a tough decision, since he was otherwise still doing normal dog things, but we had him euthenized in our home. I hate that it wasn’t something big that took him down, but a small wound that was unlikely to heal and would just bleed all over the house. It felt like a convenience decision, even though I know his quality of life had gone downhill. It took me a week to recover. This was about 10 years ago.

After an appropriate mourning period I adopted another dog from a shelter. She’s… not the best. I have nothing against her, she’s sweet enough, but she came to us with issues. She could never be around other dogs, sometimes I’m concerned with her around children or strange men. She doesn’t do normal dog things like… play. Her existence is basically having panic attacks multiple times a day whenever a delivery truck drives by and aggressively hounding us for meals. She tolerates pets but rarely enjoys them. We haven’t been able to trim her nails in years, even at the vet while drugged on oral tranqs. Lately she’s been peeing in the house and we don’t know why.

We think she’s around 11 or 12, and she’s also started getting lumpy. A few days ago, lemon-sized cyst on her stomach ruptured. Same issue, it’s unlikely to heal and it’s bleeding all over the house. We can bandage it but she hates it.

Earlier this year we had her teeth cleaned at great expense (they ended up pulling 4 teeth as well) and her heart stopped while she was under. The vet hadn’t noticed my DNR order and brought her back to life. But now we can’t have this cyst removed without doing a heart assessment first.

Long story long, I’d have to pay about 4 grand and put her through hell to get her through this. I just can’t rationalize that, and it’s making me feel like a bad guy. She can still run and jump and chase rabbits and go on walks but this somewhat minor oozing wound on her belly is going to be the reason I euthanize her, and I’m struggling with it.

Related, I just found out that the reason every vet visit now is $400 is because private equity bought up all the practices. I’m not sure I can afford a dog after this, at least not without insurance. And even then…

2

Sorry for what you are going through, but keep reminding yourself that, unless you are 90 when you get your dog, you HOPE you will have to put them down at some point.

You have to decide for yourself when the tie is right. Right now, I have a niece who is IMO essentially torturing an old dog with negligible quality of life.

I’ve spoke with many many people who have agonized over putting their dog down. I have not encountered a single person who after the fact believed they did it too soon. To the contrary, many acknowledged they waited too long.

Good luck.

3

It may be “wrong”, but you have given her a good life and are willing to ease her out. If this is really what you want, I would let you off the hook.

4

I think in the end you come to terms with it. I’ve struggled with this. I’m the one the vet begs me just “let her go”.

But I didn’t ever have an active aged dog. I’ve had plenty of old dogs. They were never still doing “doggy” things. My oldest a Rat Terrier. 23yo. She pooped and pee’d out side. Ate her food. But otherwise was a blind, deaf lump of sleeping fur(minimal).

She went to sleep in her chair one morning after her constitutional and never woke up.

That’s the way I prefer it. Realistically I know this isn’t always possible.

A vet did tell me once, You’ll know when it’s the right time.

Good luck.

5

It sounds to me like her life isn’t sunshine and rainbows even without the tumor. Add illness in the mix, and I think you’re justified in letting her go.

StG

6

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It is never, ever an easy decision.

One thing I’ll mention is that uncontrolled peeing in an older dog often signals diabetes. It’s a common affliction for dogs as well as humans. You can’t know without tests, but assuming I’m correct, you’ll likely be faced with injecting insulin daily in addition to all the other care. For one of my dogs, it was twice a day. The affliction also showed up after a teeth cleaning.

I think the dog’s quality of life should be paramount in making these decisions, but your quality of life is also a fair concern – as is your pocketbook. Sometimes these decisions must be made out of concern for the above in addition to your pet’s quality of life.

You’re right about corporate vet care taking over as many vet practices as they can. Pet ownership is fast becoming an indulgence for the wealthy. Sad, because so many animals need homes.

Good luck. I feel certain you will make the right decision, given all the variables. To whatever extent you love this animal, remember those good things about her. It will give you comfort eventually.

7

I sympathize with you. This is horrible. Putting her down now is the merciful thing to do. I think you know this in your heart.

8

Absolutely. You give them the ultimate gift of the way out.

9

Honestly, when my mother was dying, she begged for euthanasia, but it’s illegal here. That sore that won’t heal is probably painful. If your vet is comfortable putting her down, it’s probably time to do it, before her life is just misery.

But none of us is in a position to decide for you. I’m sympathetic, because i don’t really like our old-lady cat, and I’m going to feel really guilty when the time comes to put her down. We asked the vet how to decide. He said if she stops being able to get around and use the litter box, it’s time. But I’m sure if she had a wound that wouldn’t heal, he’d say the same thing.

Best wishes, whatever you decide.

10

When most recent dog was on the decline, the vet gave me pain killers. I decided to schedule a vet to put her down in my house which would have been the next afternoon. I ground up a bunch of the pills in her water (she wouldn’t eat anymore, just drink) and she passed before the vet got there.

11

This. As an adult, I’ve now had to go through this with five very beloved doggies and my only regret is waiting too long. Never too soon.

I’m sorry you are going through this. It is always a hard decision, and I think yours is even harder.

And extra yes on the vet visit bills. And pet insurance is also a steaming crock of dog shit.

12

We all want to do what’s best for our pets, and it sounds very much like your dog has no longer got the quality of life you’d want for her. I am sorry you’re going through this, it’s never an easy decision but if she now has a wound that is unlikely to heal, and she doesn’t like having it dressed and treated, I’d say she’s making that decision for you.

We all feel guilty about euthanising a pet, we wouldn’t be human otherwise. But it’s the best and kindest thing we get to do for them, making sure they know they’re loved and that they won’t suffer. I don’t think anyone would criticise you here.

13

This.

When quality of life has gone, euthanasia is the right thing to do.

The fact that you need reassurance shows how much you you care.

14

Personal story from this past week, although I don’t know that it will address the OP:

Our horse a couple of months ago started walking around with his neck cocked at a weird angle. When the vet came out to give him his normal round of shots, his opinion was that a) it was something neurological, b) at his age (34) there wasn’t likely there was much they could do about it, and c) until he starts showing some distress, just let him live out his life.

That worked fine until Christmas Eve, when he went down, and was unable to get his back legs under him to get back to his feet. We called a vet out with plans of having him put down then and there. However, between the time we were told of his condition and the vet’s arrival, he had made it back onto his feet. With that the postponed any further actions since we didn’t know when we might be able to get him buried with Christmas being the next day. This vet also said her suspicion was that his condition was probably something neurological.

Then Saturday he went down, and it was obvious that this was going to be the last time. We called another vet out to finish the job (with emergency vets, you never know who’s on call). It was pretty heart-rending, seeing him on the ground, only able to lift his head, the rest, just not responding. Similarly, this vet also said his suspicion was something neurological. Anyway, it was time, and we had already made arrangements for burial in advance. Never any fun, but this old boy had almost 35 good years mostly illness/injury free.

15

That sounds awful, @Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker.

Thanks for the kind words and the reassurances, everyone. It’s only been 3 days and she’s already refusing to take her pills and running away when it’s time to change her bandages. She’s even skipping meals, so skeptical is she that we’re hiding pills in there (to be fair, we are). In a way, she’s not making this easy, and in another way, she’s making it easier.

16

It’s a horrible decision to have to make. I’ve had to make it many times. It sounds like her life has been hard from the get-go. It sounds like she has never really enjoyed life. That’s what I always use to make the decision. Is the animal able to enjoy life and do the things it liked to do? If not, it’s time.

For me, as heartbreaking and sad as it is, I always have a feeling of relief once it’s over. It’s a stressful time leading up to it.

I pray you and the dog find peace.

17

We waited too long with our first cat. She was 20 years old, emaciated, and having issues with coordination. Turned out she had a cyst in her mouth that kept her from swallowing food. We vowed to never again let an animal suffer like that, and when our second cat started showing symptoms of having a tumor in her head, we had her euthanized. Was there some guilt? Of course, and I still feel a twinge after several years. But I’d do it again. It’s crueler not to have them living their best life.

18

I’m sure many will disagree with me, but IMO, a pet is supposed to enhance the quality of your life.

I understand that some people adopt animals needing considerable ongoing care, or feel an obligation to provide such care as the end of the pet’s life approaches. Or keep pets with significant behavior issues. Each of us must make up our own minds as to what is enough or too much, but I personaly would not consider what you describe as enhancing the quality of my life.

19

Back when I lived in Seattle, I had a house-call vet that was was just a calm, thoughtful guy that I really respected. I was struggling with caring for a cat with cancer and I asked if I was making the decision too early. He said he’d never seen anyone make the choice too early, only too late.

That framing has helped me with my decision several times since. Doesn’t ever make it easier, but it helps take away the lingering doubt.

20

I am so sorry for this pain you are facing. I still regret that with our one dog I was the lone holdout, he should’ve gone sooner. I also regret with our other one, did we send her too soon. I can tell you have given so much love. They count on us for everything and that includes making these decisions that really suck. Know that you will do the right thing and imo, if there is any mercy in the universe, they are pain free and happy because we do not deserve them.