It worked pretty well with A Christmas Carol, moderately well with Treasure Island, but kind of fell flat with The Wizard of Oz. So how would you, Mr./Ms. Movie Mogul Doper, recast a movie or play with Muppets?
Here are the rules.
Only Muppets need apply. Exceptions will be made only for puppet characters from The Dark Crystal and/or Labrynth. Other entities (even those from the Henson Creature Shop) are not allowed. References to human actors should be minimal.
Keep it as clean as possible. Brokeback Mountain with Bert and Ernie may be funny, but juxtaposition of wholesome kid-friendly Muppets with sex (whether tender or skanky) is lacking in creativity. If you want to discuss Muppet sex (homo, hetero, bestial, et al), or drugs, start your own damned thread.
There is, admittedly, a dearth of well-known female muppets. Gender switches (drag or “trouser” roles) are allowed.
Here’s my opening submission:
Muppet Ocean’s Eleven Cast:
Danny Ocean - Kermit the Frog (who knew he could play an amoral character?)
Tess - Miss Piggy (Who else?)
Terry Benedict - Fozzie Bear (yeah, lousy casting, but Fozzie is always lousy casting)
Rusty - Rowlf (faithful sidekick)
Linus - Scooter (the kid)
Frank - Dr. Teeth (just that much short of respectable)
Virgil & Turk - Floyd Pepper & Zoot (plenty of obnoxious banter)
Yen - The Great Gonzo (you try to stop him from doing his own stunts)
Saul - Waldorf (Hmmm? What? Must’ve dozed off there for a second)
Basher - Crazy Harry (Crazy Harry plays with electromagnetic pulses!!!)
Livingston - Animal (Ahh! Don’t touch button! Argraararrghh!)
Reuben - Statler (C’mon, know anyone who can kvetch more convincingly? ;j )
Bruiser - Sweetums (There’s something loveable under all that hair and muscle)
Mr. Walsh (casino manager) - Sam the Eagle (Can you think of anyone more trustworthy?)
Just to go for the obvious … Muppet Star Trek
Cast:
Captain James Kirk - Kermit the Frog (Of course.)
First Officer Spock - Gonzo the Great (You try to stop him from sticking his head in the scanner thing.)
Dr. Leonard McCoy - Statler and Waldorf (In an Olsen-type switchoff.)
Commander Scott - Animal (Kermit: “Okay, okay, we won’t go to warp! Just don’t rip my arms off!”)
Uhura - Miss Piggy (Don’t mess with her hailing frequencies.)
Sulu - Sam the Eagle (Don’t call him Tiny.)
Chekov - Fozzie the Bear (Chekov always did look ridiculous in that wig.)
Alien of the Week - Sweetums (Duh.)
Redshirt of the Week - Beaker (He’s always getting blown up anyway.)
Picard: Kermit (duh)
Riker: Rolff the dog
Troi: Miss Piggy (duh). “Oh Captain? I’m sensing some negative emotions…”
Worf: Animal (duh)
LaForge: Dr. Teeth
Data: Fozzie. Perfect for Fozzie’s cluelessness.
Dr. Crusher: Gonzo in drag.
Wesley: Scooter
Norma Desmond: Miss Piggy
Joe: Kermit
The butler guy: Gonzo
The Nice Girl: Janice
The Nice Girl’s other boyfried: Fozzie
Mr. DeMille: Rowlf
The repo men: Statler and Waldorf
The band at the New Year’s Eve party: The Electric Mayhem, of course.
Picture Miss Piggy snarling, “No one leaves a star! That’s what makes one a star!”
Kermit and Piggy as Brad and Janet
Gonzo as Eddie
Animal as Rocky Horror
The Old Guys In The Balcony as No-Neck
Fozzie as Dr. Franken Furter
Swedish Chef as Dr. V. Scott
I’m afraid that’s all the muppets I can think of at this late hour (OK, it’s 10PM here, but I’m beat)
The Narrator - Kermit (“Muppet Club was the beginning, now it’s moved out of the basement, it’s called Project Henson.”)
Tyler Durden - Rowlf the dog (“Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I sniff you in the ass or the crotch?”)
Marla Singer - Janice ("You take the nude modeling support group. Listen, I don’t take my clothes off for anyone, even if it IS “artistic.”)
Bob Paulson - Fozzy Bear (“This is Fozzy. Fozzy had bitch tits”)
Random fighters -
Sweetums (“aw come on guys! I wanna join the Muppet Club!”)
Yoda (“Fight, or do not. There is no try.”)
Beaker (“Meep meep meep meep meep!”)
Augrha ("PROJECT HENSON IS THE END OF THE WORLD! Or the beginning. Hm.)
Animal (“Eat eardrums! Eat eardrums!”)