I have a time machine. I can take the theatrical reel of one movie made in the past 25 or so years or so back to the early 1950’s, where it will be released in theaters. If I want to maximize my profits, what movie should I choose?
I guess there are two variants of this:
(1) Assume that we can tell the past audience that we’re from the future and brought back a movie with us, so they’ll accept that special effects are better than they’re used to, cars look futuristic-but-not-like-the-Jetsons, etc.
(2) Fool the audience into thinking this was a movie made back then (perhaps in Canada, which is why they don’t recognize the actors). (Assume we can do a few things like put in period-appropriate credits, but must basically leave the film itself intact.)
(Also assume I can get a print in the proper format to play in 50-year-old projection equipment.)
For #2, except for a very quick, few seconds-long simulated sex scene, you could do exactly that with the fantasic The Good German. It’s not just a period film set in post-WWII Berlin, everything about it, from the look of it, the dialogue, the acting style, the convoluted plot, and even, maybe most especially, the music (which got an Oscar nomination for Thomas Newman), it’s all meant to…not evoke or re-create movies of that era, but BE a movie from that era. Even the credits work. The sex scene is the only thing out of place, but it was necessary to the plot so I’m not sure how they could have done without it.
Also #2, Miss Potter would be perfectly at home, though the special effects would probably freak some people out.
For #1, I would have to assume that the biggest money maker would be Titanic. They would be able to relate to it, the special effects would blow them away, and it’s already proven itself as one of the most profitable movies ever.
For number one, any of the Star Wars movies, any of the Lord of the Rings movies and Peter Jackson’s King Kong would do well. Also “10 Things I Hate About You” which is after all a remake of “Taming of the Shrew.”
For number two, just about any of Marchant-Ivory’s hysterical costume drammers.
The modeling scene, the sex scene in the back of the car…it would be picketed and shut down after one showing. Have you ever seen the movie “Baby Doll”? It’s incredibly tame by modern standards but was possibly the most roundly condemned mainstream film between the institution of the Production Code and 1956. There is no nudity. There is no overt sex. It’s entirely within the old Production Code. But the movie was denounced by Cardinal Spellman from the pulpit of St. Patrick’s and the Legion of Decency gave it a “C” (condemned), making it a mortal sin for any Catholic to see it.
Agreed about the nudity and suggestiveness of Titanic disqualifying it. Heck, they had a problem with “The Moon is Blue” because it contained the word “virgin”, reportedly.
My suggestion: Fantasia 2000. Similar enough to the first Fantasia for the concept to be clear, no inappropriate references, it has Mickey and Donald in it, familar music and artists (Hirshfeld!), and the animation will blow them away. They’ll just be scratching their heads trying to figure out where Deems Taylor and Leopold Stokowski went and who the hell the celebrities are. Especially James Levine.
