I… was on the early bus to work today.
And I had a peanut-butter sandwich in bed last night! 
I am not wearing my glasses while i catch up at the SDMB. I had frenchfries and soda for breakfast. And the music on the Winamp is entirely too loud:D
I am wearing white socks with my black pants and black shoes. Plus, this is the second time this week I’ve worn these pants…without washing in between wearings.
This morning I put Baby Kate’s shirt on BACKWARDS because it looks better with the Ladybug on the front.
Well, the other day I threw away a letter that said, right on the envolope
congratulations MISS SMERNY , here is your guaranteed prize certificate!!!
Without even opening it.
And then there’s the years of Q-Tip abuse. :hangs head:
I didn’t booger check before our Christmas portrait.
Don’t tell my mom, but I didn’t wear clean underwear today. Actually, I used the last of my clean underwear about a week ago, so of course I’d been turning them inside out since then. Well, this morning I realized with horror, I’ve run out of underwear to turn inside out. I’d turn them back to inside in, but that’s just nasty. So, being the brave and reckless type, I went commando! Ah, it ain’t easy being me.
I didn’t let the car warm up this morning before I started driving. Just hit the ignition and headed out.
And took the stairs two at a time (a problem for those of us who have difficulty climbing stairs without tripping).
And instead of a second cup of coffee, I had a diet coke.
Thanks for the encouragement, Rue!
Oh, and I just returned a video tape to the store without rewinding it. Man, am I evil or what?
I did not wear any foundation today. Ugh! Gasp!
I took a 1 and 1/2 hour lunch. Gasp!
I’m on a roll…
This type of blasphemy must stop!
(seriously, the funniest thing I’ve read all day)
I willfully neglected to put the portable phone back on the recharger, because it was in the other room, and it died.
And I didn’t even give it a proper burial - just threw it in the trash.
What is actually very sad here ( to me, anyway), is that all these things are lovely jokes, but my house being the most terrible slovenly mess is a real fact. 
(Yes, I suppose there is no other type of fact.)
Do I slit my wrists now - or actually tidy up house, which is run on the old Quentin Crisp principle?
sob sob sob
I recommend tidying up the house. Slitting the wrists would be a rather extreme solution. Plus, someone else would end up having to clean up not only the mess that’s there, but also the bloodstains.
I cleaned my half-bath top to bottom today. I’ve resolved that, although the total annual time is equivalent, that I will spend 15 minutes every week rather than 13 hours once a year. Man, was that disgusting. :o
I did dilute the cleanser with only half a gallon of water, instead of the full gallon the instructions said to use. And I didn’t leave the door open. (Actually, it shut itself-I need to rehang it. 
) Hah! Back on topic! 
I hate that. “Fluff up my pillows. Straighten my quilt. Make the cat stop shedding on me. I hate these sheets.” Stupid bed.
I don’t blame you, I hate it when they spell my name wrong.
The “old Quentin Crisp principle”? 
Whlie I admire Quentin Crisp’s writing greatly, I have to side with the other 99.999999% of humanity and say that a clean living space is actually a good thing. Good for your head, good for you lungs, &c.
As far as my own badness goes: A couple days ago I made coffee, and then later that day I was going to make coffee again, and I DIDN’T wash the pot! I just rinsed it out and made coffee into it again! He hee!
Quentin Crisp’s view on housework was that after the first four years, the dust doesn’t get any worse.
Ooh I thought of another one - I still owe the public library ervice £2.00 in fines! Quite naughty for a former librarian.