I need coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Coffee!
The problem is that before I’ve had my coffee, I really can’t manage complex tasks. And after I’ve had my coffee, I’m too hyper to focus on cleaning the coffee maker. So, I need a machine that:
1.) Can be set on a timer, so coffee (coffee!) is ready to go when I wake up;
2.) Can be cleaned using my dishwasher; and
3.) Produces the best coffee possible, without compromising the first two points.
I’m aware of Aeropress/french press coffee; the problem is that heating the water and loading the press, while simple enough, is too much for me to handle without caffeine. 
I’m willing to spend money on this, short of stupidly expensive amounts - I’d prefer to keep it under $200.
Can you press a button sans caffeine?
If so, you can set a Keurig to come on at a certain time. When you wake up, press a button and 30 seconds later: COFFEE.
Changed my life.
Does it need to put the coffee grounds in the filter automatically? Does it need a water reservoir that gets refilled every few days? Or can you be trusted to setup the coffee filter and water the night before? If you can set things up each night then just about any drip coffee maker will be as good as the next. One thing I would recommend that may conflict with #2 is that you get one with an insulated carafe (usually call thermal carafes). I find that coffee that sits in a carafe on a hot plate tends to taste bad after about 30 minutes or so. Given that you want the coffee ready when you wake it might be sitting around to long. The thermal carafes I have seen don’t look like they will do well in the dishwasher.
I bought a Capresso like this one after much online research. As with nearly all small appliances, quality is for shit these days. Most reviews include comments like “water doesn’t get hot enough” and “coffee machine leaks”. Capresso gets pretty good reviews across the board: filters the water (not required), timer, clock, auto shut-off if you forget. Gets the water hot enough to give you a good cup. As far as putting it in the dishwasher, I suppose you could take the top off the carafe and put it in there, but I just rinse it out after use and it’s good for the next day. Much faster and easier.