Recovery After Birth

Factual Questions
21

The best news that I got from work is that they will take my pager away when I go into labor. Dam. It just went off again! I am 5 months pregnant and have yet to have an entire week without it going off while I am at home, often at 3:30 am.

Our maternity leave is 6 weeks at 80% pay vaginal birth, 8 weeks at 80% pay for C-section. If you cannot return to work for a medical reason or for a medical reason can’t work until birth, you get disability at 80% pay. As I understand it 6 weeks are meant for recovery. You may take up to 12 weeks off though with the remainder unpaid or you can use your vacation as part.

Still many new mothers at our company work at least part of their hours from home. I have set up plenty of laptops up for new mothers. Most are glad to be back at work but glad they can do some of it from home. They are often still exhausted after the 6 weeks and don’t quite seem themselves for another month. I know they miss their babies, but sometimes it is nice to hear only grownups whining and crying.

22

Excellent post, Duck Duck Goose!! Two weeks is an awfully short time.

I had to sit on the side of my leg (so my weight was on my outer thigh) for at least a week. My breasts were painful and leaked rivers. It took me a lot longer than normal to use the washroom. I felt like I was on an acid trip from lack of sleep. I hallucinated, even. Two months later and I still couldn’t have sex (the pain was too great.) I was overly emotional. As if the pregnancy itself wasn’t bad enough! Heh. I’ll never do that again!

If I had no other choice, of course I’d return to work, but it would be a horribly miserable experience and I am glad I didn’t have to.

23

Keep in mind BZooooo that childbirth is a completely natural process, that in days past often killed, quite naturally, over 10% of the women who went thru it. You’ve been given good information about why it takes time to recover from the process. Now please read the info.

24

DUck Duck Goose - Is it too late to back out of actually having this baby?

:eek:

25

Actually, they get 6 weeks where I work. I don’t question this amount of time for recovery and bonding. I question whether this is a disability.

26

I’d call being in great pain, hallucinating from sleep deprivation, crying uncontrollably at intervals, and leaking various bodily fluids a disability that’d even keep you from being able to do a desk job properly.

27

Aw, honey, you’re gonna have a blast, trust me. :wink: I did it three times, I woudn’t have missed it for the world, seriously–weight gain, labor, hemorrhoids, and all.

The labor room nurse hands you a surprisingly light little bundle, saying, “Okay, honey, here ya go”, and you look into that tiny wet red smooshed-up face and say, “Hi there” to it, and you see this–person–who has been moving around inside you for the last five months, and camping out on top of your bladder for the last three months, and waking you up at night by kicking you for the last month, and you used to sit there, fascinated, and watch the top of your belly move around as the little arms and legs shifted their position–and then suddenly there she IS–there’s truly nothing else like it. I mean, there she is, you know? FINally. A baby. The baby. Your baby. It hits you like a ton of bricks, that all that bumping and shoving and indigestion was because there was a real live human being inside you, with a soul and everything. It’s a little spooky to think about. One egg and one sperm and nine months later there are these teeny little fingers, with teeny little fingernails…How the hell does the DNA freakin’ DO that?

And when she gets to be about two or three and starts not needing you quite so much anymore, then you will start thinking about having another one, and, honestly, you WILL NOT remember what labor was like until you’re actually in the labor and delivery room again, and THEN you’ll go, “Oh, yeah, NOW, I remember”. But there’s some kind of automatic reboot that goes on in your mental software, that erases the sense memory of labor and delivery from your ROM, which is why people have more than one.

Babies are great–labor and delivery is just what you have to go through to get one, that’s all (I mean, outside of adopting or something).

Do the breathing exercises and practice them, all that “deep cleansing breath” and “chuffing” or however they’re teaching it nowadays. And get the SO or the dad or whoever’s going to be in there with you to practice, too, because it’s like anything else, you gotta practice so it gets to be automatic, because when you’re in there concentrating on the truly remarkable thing that’s happening to your belly, you won’t have mental energy to look things up in the book.

It feels like the world’s biggest bowel movement, in case you’re worried about all those movies with the women screaming in agony. Trust me, it ain’t like that. Imagine trying to pass a Godzilla-sized constipation turd. It’s not “fun”, or particularly pleasant, and you gotta make a certain amount of animal noises in the process, but it’s not the “ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod” stuff, 'kay?

And when it’s over, you have a baby.

And hemorrhoids.

But the piles do eventually go away, whereas the baby stays and before you know it is 16 and has her driver’s license.

28

:eek:

Aaagh! My wife is currently at three months… You have officially just scared the crap out of me. You mean to tell me that after dealing with a preggie for 9 months, the fun is just starting… Aigh yigh yigh!

Luckily, she won’t have to worry about going to work after the little one comes. It’s not glamourous living, but it’s worth the sacrifice for our child to grow up with his/her mother in those first important years rather than in a baby-keeping-pound.

:slight_smile:

29

My first baby was born 5 weeks ago. No, no, don’t congatulate me, all I did was have sex with my wife.

But I did want to say that my child will not be allowed to drive a car until after I am dead.

30

I had a C-section, and the incision didn’t fully close for three weeks, so I’d have to call that at least a minor disability. I also wasn’t supposed to drive a car or pick up anything heavier than the baby for six weeks, which would have made it a bit difficult to get to work, even if my job didn’t happen to require any heavy lifting.

31

Are you seriously suggesting women should go back to work after 2 weeks?

32

(underlining mine)

To, you, DDG, it may not have been that bad. For some of us, it was very very very much that way. I didn’t have drugs and had a lot of complications (shattered tailbone) and it was that bad.

Not that I’m trying to scare anyone, but it’s also unrealistic to say that because for you it wasn’t too bad, that it isn’t bad for anyone.

Lesson One: Every birth is different.

33

Dude, even in the best case the new mom is going to have trouble sitting normally for a week or two - the part where the baby comes out hurts, OK? It’s at least as disabling as a broken leg or arm. She’s not rendered helpless, but she’s not as capable of sitting for long periods, concentrating on work, or performing other duties normally required of a job other than motherhood. Temporary, hence “short term disability”.

34

When I went back to work after eight weeks, I was so sleep deprived that the police pulled me over for driving on the wrong side of the road. I was maxing out at three hours of consecutive sleep before needing to feed again.

I was consulting, finishing up some needed Y2K work, but I’m not sure how much value I added. I was spending an hour a day expressing milk - and I was soooooooo tired.

Six weeks after having the baby I still couldn’t walk up more than a single flight of stairs.

Giving birth is a little like getting mono or pneumonia. Yeah, once you aren’t contagious (or bleeding so heavily you have to change pads every hour), there really isn’t any reason you couldn’t go sit in a desk quietly. But since you sleep as much as you can and need to recover to avoid a secondary illness, you stay home.

And the secondary infections as part of labor are fun to. Mastitisis. Infections in the stitches. Hospital colds.

When I adopted, there was no short term disability, so my maternity leave came completely at my own expense. Adoptive moms often scream about how “unfair” this is - and I did think it was unfair. My bio child came very shortly thereafter, and I now understand why its covered under short term disability.
(DDG, very nice description, btw. Although - mine was ohmygodohmygodohmygod until the epidural, when it started to feel like a really big poop).

35

Yes, let’s all scare the newbie with our horror stories, why don’t we? :rolleyes: I was deliberately trying to avoid that. Thank you for so sensitively picking up on that…

36

I gave birth on a Thursday. I was back teaching my night classes the Monday after. I was back at my regular job 2 Mondays after that. My baby was just over 3 weeks old when I went back to work full time.

I didn’t have much choice - I had no sick leave or vacation leave left. I couldn’t afford to continue without pay. Fortunately, I was in pretty good shape and we found excellent day care. In a perfect world, I’d have taken a couple of months, but somethimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

37

I think it’s just as fair that mothers-to-be are told the horror stories, so they’ll know, at least in theory, the range of experiences they may have. If everyone told me it wasn’t that much worse than taking a big poop, and then I wound up having Anahita’s experience, I’d be even more freaked out, thinking that what I was going through must be completely abnormal and therefore something must be going horribly awry. Heck, I think I might even prefer to be told the horror stories, so that when and if I ever give birth, if it turns out to be just like taking a big poop, I’ll be relieved I got off that easily.

38

I work in benefits - specifically, I administer leaves of absence (including medical/maternity leaves) for a company with about 30,000 U.S. employees, who are enrolled in about a dozen different medical plans around the U.S.

All of these plans consider the “medical norm” for a normal vaginal birth to be six weeks of disability. For a C-section, the norm is eight weeks. If the doctor extends the disability beyond that period of time, she better have a medical reason.

Two weeks sounds exceptionally short to me. No employer, or insurance company, wants the mother back so soon risking her health and productivity.

When you say your company gives two weeks of disability pay, I suspect that it is two weeks of pay, with the additional time off unpaid. I’m sure they give her more than two weeks to recover. In fact, the Family Medical Leave Act requires that they give her at least 12 weeks of time off, if she wants it. They don’t have to pay her though.

39

One of BZ’s points was that all these reasons might be good, but why is it called “disability” leave.

I agree that’s sort of an odd term for it. It’s not that you’re disabled so much as healing, making huge adjustments, and having to be there for a completely helpless human being.

Perhaps the reason they call it “disability” is that it’s the best category for what is otherwise a fairly unique set of physical circumstances. I dunno.

I got the automatic 8 weeks for my c-section. Like any major abdominal surgery, it took a long time to recover from, but nothing would have really prevented me from returning to my desk job earlier. I was certainly grateful for the time, but I was not disabled. However, I do know some women who could not even climb steps after their c-sections, and it took them a lot longer to be fully mobile. I had additional surgery to my bladder, which was damaged during delivery, but I was able to go on a vacation with my husband and new baby when he was 6 weeks old. People vary, as do incisions!

40

But this is GQ not IMHO.