Refine the Design - the human body

If you could make one - and only one - design change to the human body, what would it be? Specify male, female, or unisex as the scope of the change and explain the benefits.

Mine is unisex. It is a simple butt profound flaw that I desire to fix: Remove all capsaicin receptors from the sphincter ani.

Yes, the good doctor has been sampling too many spicy foods of late, and is paying the price.

Fire in the hole!

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

Mine is also unisex: I would increase our skeletal system’s resistance to wear/breakage (he says as he nurses bad knees and a tennis elbow) :slight_smile:

Fusion power. 'Nuff said.

Unisex - No need for sleep. Or like the dolphins have one half of the brain sleep at a time.

Unisex- Cellulose digestion. We wouldn’t need to eat as much, and we wouldn’t need to crap as much.

Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

Oh, Doctor, that’s ever so much more than I needed to know!

Unisex: I’d open up a broader range of skin colors, and make them inheritable by more people. So a green man and a red woman might either have a yellow or a green or a beige baby. So much more fun–and either a chance for less racism, or a whole lot more!

Male: Put a color-coded gauge on their forehead that indicates their hormonal fluctuations. How much you wanna bet we’ll NEVER hear another word about how unstable women are?

“Had I been around at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.”

  • Alfonso X

I think the penis should be smaller… I’m always hearing it’s too big…

Yer pal,

Being able to turn fats back into simple carbohydrates at will. So, the chubby people could lose weight just by willing themselves a “sugar buzz”.

If I could choose one attitude about the human body, I would scramble people’s perceptions of beauty. There would be no supermodels, since people would never agree on who was good-looking. All the ugly people would have someone who thought they were gorgeous, and all the hotties would have someone who thought they were rancid.

E.g. “Me, I have a thing for chics with mouse-colored frizzy hair.”

“Ooh, it’s the short guys with bowl haircuts that get me.”

“No no I’d have to go hunchbacks and gap-toothed people.”

I’d make the female sexual response as fast as the male. I mean, foreplay is fun and all, but sometimes I wish I could go from hum-drum, what’s on TV to raging madly horny in .03 seconds at the sight of breasts (or whatever) the way my boyfriend seems to.

I’d eliminate body odors (armpit, crotch, etc)

“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
OpalCat’s site:
The Teeming Millions Homepage:

I’d make semen taste like Godiva dark chocolate.

If you could do that, DB, my husband would be eternally grateful.

Now, if we could do the same for women, I would be eternally grateful.

Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought.

360 degree field of vision.

“Give the Governor harrumph!”

Can’t believe noone has mentioned telepathy. Or is that out of the competition ?
Otherwise I’d say something like body odors, along with shaving, brushing, combing…

“The human body requires a lot of maintenance. In fact, if the human body were a car, you wouldn’t buy it !”



“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

I’d add a prehensile tail.

I’d swap positions of the clitoris and the urethra. That way, good old vaginal intercourse would be enough to stimulate that little love bump.

“I think he said ‘Blessed are the cheesemakers.’”

ChristCTP wrote “Now, if we could do the same for women, I would be eternally grateful.”

Some of us think women already taste better than chocolate. I know I do! :wink:


Less vulnerably positioned male genitalia. Some kind of protection or shielding around there would give so much more confidence.

And no more head-hair loss.

“Waheeey! ‘Duck!’ Get it?”
“Errr… No…”
“Duck! Sounds almost exactly like fu-”

Male: Get rid of all the pain receptors around the testicles, so they don’t have to worry about getting hit there.

Unisex: Make the back and knees stronger and get rid of all the hair on the body except on the head.