I have come to the conclusion that my wife suffers from refrigerator blindness.
In my refrigerator now are four open mustards, three open ketchups, two open milks, three open butters, three open cream cheeses, two open Miracle Whips (any doper who attempts to hijack this thread and turn this into a pro-mayonaise/Miracle Whip debate, will be dunked in a vat of the other). There are multiple jars of pickles, olives, jams, salad dressings, and who knows what else.
My only conclusion as to why she can “never find the open one” must be due to refrigerator blindness. I’m not sure what causes this…could be that gust of cool air when you open the door, or, perhaps, blinding radiation from the bulb, which, of course, never shuts off.
Anybody else suffer from this? Is there a national support group somewhere? Am I destined to a lifetime of half-used perishable products?
Somewhat related to “Refrigerator Blindness” is “Walkinson’s Disease.” We coined this term when I worked in a large commercial kitchen to describe that syndrome that causes you to walk across the kitchen to the walk-in refrigerator, enter it and close the door behind you, then stand there and shiver while you try to remember what you went in there for.
as any small child can tell you, you’re wrong about the fridge light, which doesn’t stay on all the time but is in fact turned on by the fridge gnomes when you open the door. this leads to the obvious conclusion that the cause of the fridge blindness is not the cool air or the radiation, but the fact that the only sustenance the fridge gnomes need is thoughts… that’s right, they feed on thoughts. they commonly sieze on the foremost thought that is being thought by whoever just opened the door. and what are you usually thinking about when you open the fridge? that’s right. you’re thinking about what you’re going to get in the fridge. so that’s usually the thought that the refrigerator light bulb gnomes steal from you every time you open the door. but don’t begrudge them this thought. without it your fridge would always be dark, and you’d never find what you were looking for anyway.
I need to remember that theory White. Makes sense to me. Guess that’s why I currently have like 20 bottles of beer in my fridge. Or was there another reason? As for the mayo/miracle Whip debate, they’re both nasty.
Don’t knock the Fridge Gnomes. They know where you live. And they are vicious little bastards.
They’re the ones that hide the milk whenever my daughter is looking for it, then put it in plain view when she makes me look.
Beware the Fridge Gnomes.
Could refrigerator blindness be related to Cooking Amnesia?
Cooking Amnisia is the anoying habit of opening a box of something that you intend to cook, then leave the box, and it’s torn off top on the counter and never throw it away or put it away. My wife suffers from this and it causes her to slowly lose her counter space as she is cooking. She eventually starts using the burners on the stove to set bowls, plates, glasses and other stuff on.
Example: If she were to make Chicken and dumplings with a side of corn and milk to drink, she would open the chicken from the plastic wrap and leave it on the counter, then prepare some potatoes to go into it, leaving potato peelings on the cutting board. Then open the can of corn… leaving the can on the counter as well as the can opener. When she is ready to cook the dumplings, she will get the Bisquick, make the dumplings, and leave the Bisquick open on the counter. As she is getting ready to serve up the kids plates, she now finds she has no room to put the plates on the counter, so she places them right NEXT to the hot burner on the stove and serves up the food. Now she has no place for the glasses that she needs to fill with milk for the kids.
As you can see, it’s a recurring disorder that gets progressivly worse, every night.
